Stop Judging Moms Who Dress Their Daughters In Pink
Don’t you just love it when your best friend posts a picture of her beautiful baby girl on Facebook and some broad comes along to ruin her new mom joy by making a tactless comment about how the baby is dressed too girly?
I know, I know, in a public forum you run the risk of a mean comment when you post a picture, don’t post it if you can’t take the comments and all that jazz. But it’s not just online. It seems like everywhere I turn, be it story time at the library or when I’m listening in on conversations at the park because I am bad at making mom friends, women are giving fellow moms the side-eye for dressing baby girls like stereotypical girls.
I have two young sons. Since birth I have dressed them in traditional boy apparel- onesies with dinosaurs, bibs covered in trucks and planes and witty t-shirts with sayings about sports. I’m pretty sure we’ve had the rare orange, red or purple top sneak into rotation but their closet has been mostly blues and greens, because that’s what I found in the clearance section at Carter’s and that’s what I think looks cute. Never once has anyone ever said to me that I’m raising them to be “too masculine” or to be members of the He-ManWoman-Haters Club based solely on what they were wearing.
Mothers of daughters aren’t extended the same courtesy. Gold and glitter means you’re raising a sassy-mouth tyrant, pale pink and pearls means she won’t be able to stand up for her own opinions. Since when is putting a bow in a baby’s hair a crime against feminism? I remember when Legally Blonde came out. Everyone went crazy applauding Hollywood for creating this smart and stylish role model for young girls. But if the same movie came out today, I can only imagine the backlash Elle would get for wearing a hot pink wrap dress in the courtroom.
Admit to another mom that your baby owns a tutu and you’ll either get a look of disgust or a whispered “Me, too” in response. Take your baby girl to get her ears pieced, and you’ll find yourself engaging in exchanges with total strangers that are eerily reminiscent of those in the great circumcision debate.
Once a child is old enough to express an opinion over their clothing, then I think it is our job as parents to allow them some freedom in picking their own clothes. If your daughter starts to reject the frilly dresses you’ve selected in favor of shorts and plain tees or declares her favorite color to be brown, only a parent dealing with some issues of their own would be jerky enough to insist that she continue to dress like a breathing doll. Personally, once my boys learn to talk, I don’t care if they want to wear sweatpants or sequins. As long as it’s seasonally appropriate and doesn’t have violent or offensive language, I am on board.
But talking about dressing an infant who has yet to form their own preferences is different story. If you want to dress your daughter up like a living disco ball- knock yourself out. That onesies you think is adorable because it look like your baby is wearing a necklace? Go for it. Those leg warmers you bought so you can put on the Flashdance soundtrack and dance around the living room with her? Sounds like harmless fun, I’ll be right there, just let me grab my off-the-shoulder top.
I think all parents would agree that being responsible for a new human is tough. If dressing your baby girl in more tulle than you’ll find in Honey Boo Boo’s closet makes you happy and makes taking care of her even a teeny bit more manageable, then I don’t see why anyone should judge you for it. Clothing and appearance don’t define someone’s personality, especially if that person has yet to cut a tooth.