Jesus Freak: I am a Christian mom who was raised in a fundamental Christian home. I have questioned my beliefs and have come to love myself and God on my own terms. I'm raising my kids the same way.
Just as my byline says, I have spent the majority of my formative years doing what I was told, as a good Christian would. Today, I really, really love God, more than I can explain, but I also feel cheated. I feel cheated because I bought into the fundamental teachings of religion, hook, line, and sinker. It wasn’t until recently that I started to question if they were true or not, and if they were beneficial or detrimental to me.
As I’ve already discussed, sex is a HOT topic in the Christian community, to put it lightly. Again, my perspective doesn’t encompass all churches and all denominations, but I have “gotten around” in the Christian circle. I think it’s fair to say that many, many people in the Christian community believe sex and especially masturbation to be wrong—in a certain context, outside of marriage.
Here are several prime examples of one of the biggest taboos in Christianity, the shame of masturbation:
I have tried to abstain from it but it just seems that after a few days the urge to have sex or masterbate is too strong and leads to lustful thoughts. I can only assume men have a far greater difficulty overcoming this and i would like to hear your thoughts on the subject. Please try to include scripture for your reasoning.
In short, yes, it is a sin. See Ephesians 5:3 - But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
The Church has consistently taken the line that masturbation is wrong because it constitutes a misuse of the reproductive faculty. However, in the case of the female, masturbation does not necessarily, and typically does not, involve any reproductive facility or apparatus whatsoever.
Bible does say that any lusts of the flesh we gratify is ungodly, in reply to thinking bout ones own spouse thats a bit weird to think that cause its your spouse it makes it Godly to do. God is holy and we are to be holy in His image and likeness. Masturbation is still a sinful act as it falls in the catergory of sexual immorality, gratifying ones flesh. Sin is conceived by a thought first which if one does not take captive (anything that exalts itself above the knowledge of God)can lead to a manifestation of that thought. We can deceive ourselves very easily in saying, "o i think about my spouse" yet you have your spouse to enjoy the pleasures of an intimate relationship with. Masturbation is a conterfeit of the real deal, Satan is the master at conterfeitin.Not i but Christ who lives in me?? If one is truely led by the Holy Spirit one would know that if they did masterbate that its not the Holy Spirit leading one, its themselves.
WHO ever said masturbation was immoral? Pardon my French, but reading some of these explanations makes me want to punch these people in their smug, churchy faces. I know that isn’t very “Christian” of me, but I can hardly stomach the guilt and shame associated with sex and personal gratification, so prevalent in many churches today.
I was always told, undoubtedly, that masturbation was wrong when I was growing up. My husband has shared similar stories about his religious parents. I remember asking my mom if masturbation was ever okay, even when you were married (as marriage seemed to be the golden ticket to sex that wouldn’t send you straight to hell); I’m sure my mom would have a different answer today, but back then, she parroted what she had been told. She told me verbatim, “No, masturbation in marriage is still wrong because your body is for your husband.”
Today, I believe that attitude is not godly, and it is also terribly damaging. After my teenage years, I started to masturbate, partially because I wanted to and partially because curiosity got the best of me as I tried to maintain my “virgin” status until marriage. I always enjoyed it, but in the back of my mind, this terrible judgment lurked.
After I got married, I thought—that’s it, now I have to have super-pure, godly marital sex (whatever that is). Fortunately, my husband and I have very open communication about everything; we talked about how to make our sex life work for us. I also continued to read about sexual health and satisfaction and realized that masturbation, in any context, is one great way to learn how to please yourself and feel more confident with a sexual partner, especially for women.
I hate the religious attitude toward masturbation, and I think it is incorrect. I have two sons, and while I certainly don’t look forward to puberty and all of the crusty socks scattered around my house, I do want to open up the conversation.
I’ve already told my husband that it’s his primary job to talk about all of this “teenage boy stuff” openly since he has experience, but I’m going to do it too. I would have appreciated my parents encouraging me to explore my sexuality without guilt, so that I didn’t have to learn it all by myself as a “late bloomer.” It would have saved me years of shame and embarrassment.