Deep down inside, we are all 12 years old, and that’s why a bunch of parents are petitioning to make Innovation Park Middle School in Lake Nona, Florida, change its name to something that doesn’t abbreviate to IPMS. (You know, because PMS.)
Having a school name that abbreviates to something a bit snicker-inducing does not seem like that big of a deal, but a few local parents are not thrilled about the prospect of their middle-schoolers walking around in shirts that say IPMS at athletic events and academic competitions. They say that experience would be somewhere between an embarrassment to the adolescents and a disgrace to the community, and they’re trying to get the school to change its name.
Fortunately, according to Click Orlando, IPMS has not actually opened yet. The school is brand-new and will be opening in Lake Nona in August. Parents are excited about the new school, but not thrilled about the choice of name.
Innovation Park Middle School was named by the school board as a compromise between the two front-running names: Innovation Middle School and Moss Park Middle School. Innovation Park Middle School sounds like a nice school name, but it doesn’t look like any of the board members considered that it would turn into IPMS.
Also, they voted the school’s colors to be black, white, and red.
“They don’t want to go to a school and wear a red shirt with the letters IPMS across the shirt for athletics, for academic competitions,” said local parent Christal Feldman.
The school board broke basic baby-naming protocol! Every parent knows you have to consider all potential nicknames, initials, and monograms when naming anything of importance. Arabella Seraphine Smythe seems like a perfectly lovely baby name, until all her third-grade friends want to wear their initials on necklaces and suddenly your daughter is running around with a shiny gold ASS around her neck.
If the school had been Innovation Park Middle School for years, this wouldn’t be worth kicking a fuss about, but considering that it isn’t open yet, the parents might have a case for getting the school’s name changed before the first class starts. One school board member said she hadn’t noticed the PMS in the acronym until the parents brought it up. The school board says it will reconvene and discuss giving the school a new name. Personally, I think the Florida Arts and Rising Technology School has a nice, modern ring to it.