mom fun

10 Impossible Preschool Pinterest Crafts

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I don’t know about any of you, but when my kids were in preschool, they basically sucked at crafts more complicated than gluing stuff to a paper plate. At that age, they did not have the manual dexterity, the patience or the interest to sit for longer than 5-10 minutes so besides Fun With Glue and chopping paper to shreds with their blunt little scissors, mine did not do much Mini Martha Stewart-ing.

You would never know that this age group is not the most craft-friendly by browsing Pinterest. If you do a search for “preschool crafts” things come up that I could have barely handled in 4th grade, let alone at four years old. I am just going to have to go ahead and guess that these perfectly Pinteresty results are more the work of an overly eager mommy than a budding, baby artiste- it’s very funny to imagine the little ones running laps around their Pottery Barn Kids craft table while mom painstakingly glues googly eyes to the foam core octopus she is “helping” them make. It makes me giggle and hopefully, it will make you giggle too. Behold- my 10 favorite impossible preschool Pinterest crafts:

1. This Craft Will Never Happen Because, Fruit Loops And Goldfish

cerealSorry, but I refuse to believe any kid has ever completed this craft because, Fruit Loops and Gold Fish crackers. Snacks that no preschooler is able to resist. Also, no 3-5 year old child is going to want to sort and line these up by color. Because again, Fruit Loops and Goldfish crackers. Nom nom nom.

2. Rainbow Of Frustration And Disappointment

rainbow

At first glance, this one seems easy enough but let’s think for a moment about glue. It needs time to dry. Preschoolers are not the most patient bunch and I am twitching thinking about how many times I would have to say “Hang on- can’t do the other side until this side is dry! One more minute!” Sweet baby Jesus.

3. Mr. Potato Head Picasso

potatoI’m sure the point of this craft is to learn about the senses and where each face part goes but I can tell you right now- as silly preschoolers, my kids would have thought it hilarious to put Mr. Potato Head’s mouth where his left eye should be and his ears somewhere around his forehead. Prettty!

4. These Gorgeous Monster Toilet Rolls Your Kid Could Never Reproduce

monster

Why even set the bar this high, Pinterest? These look like something out of a Tim Burton film. Any parent of a preschooler knows that these toilet paper roll monsters will just be a drippy, unrecognizable mess. Shoot for the moon, I guess.

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27 Comments

  1. Allthingsblue

    August 11, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    ‘Ugh, shit, so many parts.’ I think this all the time.

  2. Williwaw

    August 11, 2014 at 5:44 pm

    My two year-old was caught picking the goldfish crackers off the artwork that was already posted on the wall at his day care (and eating them, of course, residual glue and all). So, yeah, I don’t see the Fruit Loops one having a chance.

    • Amber Leigh Wood

      August 11, 2014 at 7:17 pm

      What daycare teacher is mean enough to make goldfish art and then hang it within arms reach. I totally don’t blame your kid for eating them

    • Williwaw

      August 12, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      Well, apparently he climbed up a shelf to reach them, so he probably needed the added energy for the descent!

    • Andrea

      August 12, 2014 at 7:58 am

      I had to tell my son’s preschool teacher to keep any craft that had googly eyes away from kid after he was done. He would eat them. No clue why.

    • Williwaw

      August 12, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      I would be horrified if I found googly eyes googling up at me from a poopy diaper. Nooooooooo! The poop is coming!!!!

  3. middleofnowheremom

    August 11, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    The only thing my preschooler is doing with crafts, is eating the glue and crayons. I’m out.

    • Williwaw

      August 11, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      That’s why they named one of the flavours “macaroni and cheese”. Because, mmm, crayons.

  4. Allthingsblue

    August 11, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    When my girls were 4 & 2 my sister gave a trial of a monthly box of craft & play stuff. Although geared towards a four year old, they were big boxes of nope. It all required parental/adult intervention or completion. She offered to extend and I declined. I still have an unopened box stashed away somewhere.

  5. leahdawn

    August 11, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    My sister-in-law INTENTIONALLY gives her four-year-old glitter glue to play with. GLITTER. GLUE. I mean stickers are bad enough but fucking GLUE?!?!?
    At least we know who cleans up the eventual tornado of sticky destruction that is doomed to follow…

    • Linzon

      August 11, 2014 at 7:53 pm

      My preschooler spotted glitter glue in a store the other day and asked if we could get some. I just laughed and laughed.

    • Katherine Handcock

      August 11, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      Oh, I beg to differ, glitter glue (if you get the right kind) is the best invention ever! It’s really thick and therefore REALLY hard to spill. Now, granted, there’s still going to be cleanup, but there always is with preschool crafts.

      Also, the alternative to glitter glue is dry glitter. Shudder.

  6. OptimusPrime*

    August 11, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    I used to teach drawing to preschoolers (Young Rembrandts, yo) and I teach Sunday School with preschoolers. You can get preschoolers to do these kinds of things, but it takes sooooo much time and work and patience that it isn’t really worth it. If you break it down to the most minute step-by-step it works, but not gonna happen for most. Also food crafts are just a bad idea.

  7. ILoveJellybeans

    August 11, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    No four year old could do anything that neat. All of those were done by the parents, children do not have the motor skills to make something that neat.
    Does any four year old even want to follow instructions to make all of these cute things like that, compared to just sticking things to the paper however they want?

  8. Jennie Blair

    August 11, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    This screams “mompetition” and “my kid made this, I totally didn’t even help at all(heavy sarcasm) he/she is so amazing, don’t you agree? My kid is so much better than your kid.”

  9. My2bits

    August 11, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    I actually did two of these crafts with my four year old preschool class. We cut out some of it for them ahead of time and the end products don’t look quite so polished, but they can really do more than people give them credit for.

    • OptimusPrime*

      August 11, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      The advance work is key in my experience (never expect them to cut anything if the goal is using it later). Also, training kids to know the difference between portrait and landscape and to fold paper to find the center. I can get a 3 year old to draw a mean treehouse, but SO many steps. Props to you on the crafting successes. 🙂

  10. Katherine Handcock

    August 11, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    My big problem with these pictures is that crafts like this are why so many kids decide they don’t like art/crafts/drawing. There is SUCH a specific end goal, and the pictures the kids get shown are always too damn perfect. And while many preschoolers are still happy with what they made, by early school age they’re starting to talk about how they didn’t make it “right.”

    I’ve got a huge pile of various crafty things (feathers, stickers, construction paper, glue, that kind of stuff) and I try to encourage my kids just to play and make something they like. They come up with very cool stuff, usually with a very creative story behind it. I’d much rather we encourage that kind of creativity and experimentation at the preschool stage.

  11. Jezebeelzebub

    August 11, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    I can;t even imagine what my house would look like after-the-fact. And the mess would be MY doing. Just saying.

  12. Rachel Sea

    August 12, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    You can get preschoolers to make these things if you walk them through each minute step, but why would you want to? Gluing things per explicit directions isn’t a vital life skill, and it’s boring.

  13. AP

    August 12, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Some of these could work if you skipped school glue and used double-stick tape. I discovered double-stick tape in high school and there’s been no going back. I haven’t owned a glue stick since.

  14. MarianD

    August 21, 2014 at 4:51 am

    I don’t get it? Why would you even bother the mess is going to be huge, your kid is going to get frustrated and all they will learn is follow instructions. Whats wrong with crayons, a glue stick and you recycling, just as much mess but less work for you and boy does their creativity get supported.

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    October 6, 2020 at 9:58 pm

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