Pregnancy

I’m Not Breastfeeding My Newborn — Not Even For World Breastfeeding Week

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breastfeedingSo, it’s National Breastfeeding Awareness Month and World Breastfeeding Week and I didn’t know that. But since I recently was in a hospital in Canada giving birth to my son, I’m well aware of the push for breastfeeding. In fact, I felt I was in a cult, not a hospital, because on every wall and in every hospital room on the maternity floor, there were signs posted about the “benefits of breastfeeding.” I read these posters, oh, about a million times, since that was the only decorations on the wall. I almost asked my daughter to bring me her art supplies so I could make my own sign with magic markers writing out the “benefits of formula feeding.”

I knew I didn’t want to breastfeed BEFORE I even went to the hospital and stocked my shelves with formula. Of course I was asked as soon as I gave birth if I was going to breastfeed. I answered, “No,” pleasantly but firmly. The first nurse didn’t say anything but in my two and a half days in the hospital I was asked this question time and time again, always with the added, “Don’t you want to try?” Um, no, I didn’t want to try. Even the pediatrician who came to check on my baby started to tell me about the benefits of breastfeeding while I listened patiently with a dazed look. She knew she couldn’t convince me and actually stopped mid-sentence and left the room because she knew she was arguing with someone (me) who was a lost cause.

The hospital I was in was fucked to put it mildly. The nurses gave me formula, but one day as I was walking my laps around the maternity ward I overheard a nurse tell a new mother that the hospital didn’t provide formula. This of course was bullshit because I was given formula. I suppose I was lucky I had a nurse who didn’t care whether I breastfed or not. I actually wanted to walk into this new mother’s room and say, “She’s lying! They gave me formula!” It was quite obvious that the nurses had all the power when it came to whether you could formula feed, and that pissed me off. I’m all for women’s choice and hospitals that ban formula feeding piss me off because shouldn’t it be the MOTHER’S choice?

Now for a bit of bragging, which I don’t often do: I didn’t breastfeed my daughter, who is now almost nine, because I wanted a bit of freedom, meaning I wanted her father to help out with feedings and also anyone else who wanted to feed her. I also didn’t want my boobs to turn to shit, which is what happens when some people breastfeed. I know this because many friends have shown me their boobs after breastfeeding, especially after two children, and have such anxiety about it. But back to bragging. My formula-fed daughter has only been sick with the flu once and had strep throat once in her eight years on this earth. Meanwhile, my two best friends, who breastfed their children, have constant problems with asthma, earaches, and sore throats. Yeah, breastfeeding really helped them with the health of their child.

Does breastfeeding make your baby smarter? Well, um, my daughter got into one of the hardest private schools in Canada and also got into the National Ballet of Canada. She is also the happiest kid around. In other words, the kid is all right.

There’s the losing weight faster argument, but for every woman who has told me they lost weight quickly, I can find another woman who says it didn’t do anything and even one friend who told me breastfeeding made her fatter. I was back to my fighting shape four months after I had formula-fed my daughter just by eating healthy and working out. I know. I know. Studies have been done about breastfeeding and the benefits. But do they take into consideration the woman’s age, the woman’s lifestyle, and most importantly, the woman’s choice?

In fact, these pushes for breastfeeding can be insulting to women who adopt, or who just can’t breastfeed (and many women just can’t.)

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118 Comments

  1. Eliza

    August 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

    Ugh, Mommyish, I think its time for you and me to part ways. I don’t know exactly when I became a near-daily visitor to your site, but its about time to say goodbye. I know your intention to a certain extent is to write controversial short pieces that create a bit of buzz, but your recent feed has been abysmal. This article, in particular, struck me as incredibly juvenile and has made me realise that if this is what Mommyish represents, this is not the website for me. I’ll get my gossip and links from somewhere else and take my ‘clicking-on-the-advertisements’ money with me.

    • Melissa

      August 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

      To be fair to Mommyish, this particular author often writes controversial and/or polarizing articles. I knew this one had to be her from the second I read the title. I take everything she says with a grain of salt, and look forward to reading the onslaught of commenters outraged by what she has to say.

    • Eliza

      August 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      Fair point. I’m easily baited! 😉 Still, though – I can do without it in my life. I just wanted to let them know I’m off elsewhere because of it.

      That is, of course, after I’m done being obsessed with the comments thread from this post. 😉

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

      Eliza, i’d suggest you check out some of her other articles and you’ll see what melissa means…but i dont want to put you through that. I also waffle about being a mommyish reader 😉

  2. Ellen

    August 7, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I LOVE THIS! We get to make our own choices, and the haters can just STFU.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

      I am ALL for choices in formula feeding vs. breast feeding. I believe it is a deeply personal decision and the reasons why are nobody’s business but the mother’s. I do NOT agree with snarking on the opposing decision. I do not appreciate rude comments about other women’s bodies based on their decision. This could have been written without Rebecca coming across as a snickering high schooler.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 8, 2012 at 8:46 am

      Hmmm…let me guess which 3 idiots voted this down.

    • Andrea

      August 8, 2012 at 10:39 pm

      I’m seeing 13 “up” votes including mine. So they are in the minority. You tell ’em Courtney!

  3. k

    August 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    I dont really care if the author breastfeeds or not, but i just want to point out on the whole ‘boobs not turning to shit’ thing, good luck with that. After two or three kids, i have friends who did NOT breastfeed whos boobs are in the same or worse shape than mine (breastfed 2 out of 3) if you do a little internet research even you’ll find that pregnancy gets your boobs out of shape, saggy etc. not breastfeeding itself. you can choose not to feed, but you can stop the milk from coming in and selling those suckers up.

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm

      wow, also just read the last sentence and that was REALLY offensive. nice work eckler.

    • Toaster

      August 8, 2012 at 12:41 am

      My boobs were ‘ruined’ before I ever got pregnant. I guess I’m doing boobs wrong.

  4. Tinyfaeri

    August 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    As others have said, pregnancy, time and gravity are what causes saggy breasts, not breastfeeding. Saying that you aren’t breastfeeding to save your breasts makes as much sense as saying you’re having a C-section to save your vagina.
    Not sure why the recent batch of “I fed my baby formula, and screw you if you have a problem with it because it’s sooo awesome” posts are really necessary any more than lactivist-y posts are necessary. We all know some women breastfeed and some formula feed. Make the choices you want to make, don’t bash other people’s choices, and move on with your life. No one gets a cookie, no one gets an award, and, more importantly, no one tries to make anyone else feel like crap to make herself feel better.
    It does suck that the nurse lied to the woman asking for formula. How you feed your child should always be the choice of the mother, and no one else’s business.

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      ***applause** your c-section, vag reference made me lol

    • UrbanMommys.com

      August 7, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      Loved this comment!

    • Christine

      August 7, 2012 at 3:31 pm

      Actually, I read her book, I’m pretty sure she did have a c-section just to save her vagina.

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      lol Christine!!

    • Andrea

      August 7, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      LMAO!!!

    • Justme

      August 8, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      Who the hell decided this woman was a good enough writer to warrant an entire book? Yikes.

    • 99pjk

      September 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm

      mean girl syndrome.

    • Andrea

      August 7, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      And Tiny wins the Best Comment Of The Article award in this one.
      *passes the Internet Crown to Tiny* Wave at the subjects Tiny!
      If you were part of the discussion on Eckle’rs last article you know what the joke is.
      Once again, Eckler uses insulting remarks, degrading comments, and offensive retoric to justify her crappy decisions. Not that I think formula feeding is a crappy decision. I DO NOT. I bottle fed my 1st because he just wouldn’t touch my boobs with a ten foot pole. But she came across as the arrogant jack ass that everyone has come to know (and hate)
      Why do we keep commenting on her dreck, I wonder. Well the there is the laugh factor I guess!

    • Tinyfaeri

      August 8, 2012 at 11:00 am

      lol, aw, shucks. 🙂 I’m still pretty new to Mommyish in general, but that’s what I’m figuring out (that she uses insulting remarks, degrading comments, etc to justify her decisions). Kind of a shame, really. I may go back to only reading STFU, Parents’ posts and call it good.

    • kate

      August 8, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      well which ever you decide, i have enjoyed your comments on a few articles!

    • Andrea

      August 8, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      What kate said!

  5. UrbanMommys.com

    August 7, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Glad the author got to make her own decision, it’s most important in the breast vs. bottle debate. I also know many great moms who couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t breastfeed and their kids are healthy and brilliant. Yet to belittle breastfeeding in this way is sort of nonsensical. There are benefits to health that just can’t be had from formula it isn’t up for debate. Also, so many moms could benefit from the cost saving measures, it really makes a difference especially if you are struggling financially. I’m all for Mommyish publishing all sides of a debate and varying opinions, but snark for the sake of it does not make the article convincing or even very good.

  6. toeacherown

    August 7, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    “I am convinced the people who benefit the most from breastfeeding are plastic surgeons ”

    Wow, REALLY??! This article sounds like it was written by an immature, bratty 17yr old out to prove everyone wrong. Just.So stupid. Officially unsubscribing from Mommyish. Articles are just getting too ridiculous.

    Read more: https://mommyish.com/pregnancy-health/im-not-breastfeeding-my-newborn-not-even-for-world-breastfeeding-week-115/#ixzz22sZ75Wjd

  7. yardsale

    August 7, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    “I am convinced the people who benefit the most from breastfeeding are plastic surgeons ”

    Wow, REALLY??! This article sounds like it was written by an immature, bratty 17yr old out to prove everyone wrong. Just.So stupid. Officially unsubscribing from Mommyish. Articles are just getting too ridiculous.

  8. Emily Heikkila

    August 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Interesting POV, but I really don’t care for this particular author’s style.

  9. Julie

    August 7, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    You rarely brag? I stopped reading at that point. Usually I just read your articles for the laugh factor and I have to say, that was your best joke yet!

  10. kmy

    August 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    I can only imagine how many other ways the other put her own selfish needs before her babys & Then tried to justify it. Awful article. Written in the tone of a pretentious B—. Not my cup of tea

  11. Wendy

    August 7, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Wow- this was the worst thing I have ever read. Not because you chose to formula feed, in fact I don’t care how you feed your kid. However this was very juvenile and sounded very trashy. Can you not get your point across without swearing? Although I’m not sure you really HAD a point because you get way off topic several times. Are you talking about formula and how it’s more difficult to get in hopsitals now, or saggy boobs? Either way, this post was an uneducated babble of a woman who is angry because someone in the world doesn’t have the same opinion as her.No one really cares that you bottle feed, they just want to make sure you understand the benifits of breastfeeding. Not sure you understand much of anything though so it was kind of a lost cause for the doctor.

  12. Dollsas

    August 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    EW! This post stinks. You are ridiculous. I have breastfed 2 children and my breasts are still perfect, thanks. I love that the only reason you don’t want to breastfeed seems to be selfish ones. Why the hell would you choose to formula feed if you COULD breastfeed? You give women who try so hard to breastfeed and have to formula feed a bad name!! Get with the times, and get your point across without cursing like a teen.

    • meteor_echo

      August 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

      a) Cursing is fine. They’re words, just like any other words.

      b) My mother breastfed me for 2 months, then got mastitis and had to undergo an operation. Now one of her breasts has a huge and rather painful scar on it (that didn’t go anywhere 24 years later). Breastfeeding, like childbirth, is a lottery. You never know what can happen to your body as a result. And yes, some women do not view their breasts as little milk factories (no snark here) – so saying that all women that can breastfeed (but don’t want to) SHOULD do so is exactly like saying that all pregnant women who want to terminate their pregnancies should give the babies up for adoption.

    • DMH

      August 12, 2012 at 8:49 pm

      Aww… Bless your little cunty heart, saying formula feeders give breast nazis like you a bad name. Yep, I could have breast fed. I could have probably breast fed my son for two years. But am I? Hell no. Why am I formula feeding? Because I CAN. I just don’t want to breastfeed, and that’s my decision to make. Got a problem with it? Looks like you’ll just have to deal with it. 🙂

    • neelu

      August 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      “You give women who try so hard to breastfeed and have to formula feed a bad name!!” I agree

  13. Lillanna

    August 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Mommysih get rid of this writter.. I am no longer a fan because of this post (no not the formula thing- the distasteful way she goes about it – grow up and please find a new calling in life, because writing is clearly not your thing. I have seen elementry school papers better than this garbage.

  14. Renee J

    August 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Oh, boy. I’m looking forward to the comments.

  15. somebody's mama

    August 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    This article was ridiculous. No real facts, just endless ranting from a bratty, selfish woman. No one is “banning” formula feeding. Take a pause in your self-righteous bitching to go read some FACTS. Women who want formula in hospitals are more than welcome to request it and no one is going to tell them no. It isn’t being withheld from them. That IS providing women with choices. It is offering support to women who choose to breastfeed, and offering support to women who wish to formula feed. You want to breastfeed? Great, no one will be offering you formula. You want to formula feed? Also great. Tell the nurse and she will get you some bottles. Hospitals where nurses are constantly suggesting you “take a break and let someone else feed the baby” or saying “your baby is hungry, you need formula” are the ones not respecting a woman’s choices. You can write polarizing articles all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you sound like and extremely under informed woman who honestly has no business getting articles published written about a subject she clearly didn’t bother to research or care about. Complain all you want, but until you actually seem to know what you’re complaining about don’t expect anyone to care.

    • Urbanmommys.com

      August 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      Great comment, somebody’smama, I couldn’t have said it better myself (and I tried!)

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      well done!!

    • Véronique Houde

      August 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      Note that this author is from Canada – perhaps her experience at the hospital was different from the ones in American hospitals? I do find her reason not to breastfead more than slightly vain – but to whomever their choices! Perhaps others will recognize themselves in her article and feel relieved that other people feel the same 😉

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 8, 2012 at 8:32 am

      Nope. I had my son in a “baby-friendly” hospital in Texas. They had to call and apologize to me when one of the nurses gave me formula that was ordered by the pediatrician who thought my son needed to be supplemented because he was slightly jaundiced. They told me their biggest complaint is that they DON’T give out formula.

    • kk

      August 11, 2012 at 11:59 pm

      agreed! yuck. horrible article.

  16. Gina

    August 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Love this!

  17. julia

    August 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    So what qualifies a person to write for Mommyish? Content aside, it sounds like something my fourth grader writes for composition homework after I punish him by taking away his Wii.

    • Rebecca M.

      August 17, 2012 at 12:15 am

      Comment win! I literally laughed out loud at this one.

  18. kate

    August 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    reading everyones comments, and most of us hear seemed to find this ridiculous and offensive, I fail to see how Mommyish posted an article that pretty much bashes women who breastfeed, and suggest we all need boob jobs, yet is always posting things about not “shaming” anyone, and women sticking up for one another etc. I think this piece (of trash) is pretty much the exact opposite of the anti-shaming agenda.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

      I didn’t know Mommyish had an “anti-shaming agenda”. I know that many of the authors are big on not judging other women but I do believe Mommish can host any viewpoint, even ones we don’t agree with.

    • kate

      August 7, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      Im not argueing with them hosting the viewpoint, but that she is pretty much bashing breastfeeding women with it, and i had gotten the impression they were against judging and or bashing people on this sight

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 8, 2012 at 8:37 am

      She is bashing and I don’t agree with it, either. I’m just saying that Mommyish has never claimed (that I’ve seen) where they don’t allow it. The way I feel is Rebecca Eckler can have her opinion, however warped, but we’re all free to disagree. Nobody is saying we have to like it.

    • kate

      August 8, 2012 at 10:31 am

      youre right, i was making a bit of a sweeping statement

    • Katia

      August 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

      Ok I hit the dislike button by accident ; this is a brilliant observation , kate.
      Mommyish, lately you are , let me quote Rebecca , f***ed.
      American mommies, please don’tthink us Canadians are crazy like this rebecca
      I have no idea why I continue to come to this site but I think this is it for me too.
      The only mom who isn’t totally rude is lindsay however her articles need serious proof reading
      Rebecca your whole article is about your nasty thoughts about other moms and one nurse who for all you know was just being lazy and doesn’t care what anyone feeds their kids.
      Mommyish You are full of pride and lack thoughtfulness, you are hypocrites with almost every article. Maybe your business model hopes for short term readers, because your lack of curiosity and insight and attention to detail is a deal breaker. Not to mention your constant pro abortion & pro formula articles. (repetitive!) Adieu

  19. Bpdawson

    August 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    All of your points are based on anecdotal evidence. It may be a bit of a crapshoot as you said, but breastfeeding gives your child better odds of a healthy infancy. I agree it should be a mother’s choice but please do not pretend breastfeeding is not scientifically proven to be healthier for babies, in general.

  20. Saddie

    August 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    This article is garbage. I’ve been thinking of leaving this group for a bit now and this reaffirmed my choice. So glad your daughter got into one of the most elite private schools. She must get her smarts from her dad.

  21. Jenny May

    August 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    Hahaha, OH wow… Sorry, Ms. Eckler, but the changes that breasts go through that so many people attribute to breastfeeding are actually caused by pregnancy itself. Whether or not your breastfeed, your breasts have still gone through all the changes necessary for milk production. Whether or not one’s breasts drastically change after pregnancy has nothing to do with breastfeeding and everything to do with simply having been pregnant.

  22. Sara

    August 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    You’re right that every woman should have the right to choose how she wants to feed her baby. I nursed my daughter for four months, then stopped because it was just too hard and my constant exhaustion and frustration with it was impeding my ability to be a good wife and mother in other areas, so you’ll get no judgment from me on choosing not to breastfeed.
    However, I’m extremely put off by the fact that you appear to have made this decision taking nothing into account but your own short-term desires. I’m not of the camp that women should hang themselves out to dry and sacrifice their own happiness at the Altar of the Ever-Suffering Mommy, but I do think that we should at least take into account what’s best for our babies when making these fairly major decisions. You come across as petulant, short-sighted and selfish here.
    Also, I just have to say…..your daughter got into the “hardest private school” in Canada even though it’s apparently no big deal for her to get a failing score on a math test? Sounds like the standards at Canada’s private schools aren’t all that high.

    • rainlily

      August 7, 2012 at 9:38 pm

      If you had read her other articles, you would know Eckler does her daughter’s homework, so that’s probably why she got into the “hardest private school in Canada”. Woman is an idiot.

  23. To Celebrate Women

    August 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    I support your right to breastfeed or formula feed, and I don’t believe a woman must provide a reason not to breastfeed (ie “I just don’t want to” is perfectly fine). I also think that some lactivists (some) get really out of hand. However, this article was very poorly written and you had nothing resembling an argument. It could have been a lot better with careful planning and removal of the more bitter snark, but judging from what I’ve seen of your articles, this is not a high priority. Forget the subject matter- this article makes no sense.

  24. SmarterThanYou

    August 7, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Don’t stress yourself over this, it must be fake. No one can really be *this* stupid. “Breastfeeding ruins your boobs” hahahaha. Oh my. It’s so stupid it’s hilarious. Because I guess the milk they stretch out with during pregnancy and colostrum just “doesn’t happen” when you chose to formula feed. Hahahaha. And even if it is real, who cares what someone that intentionally harms their child actually thinks?

    • Andrea

      August 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm

      Well, we should probably cut her some slack. She was probably worried they would scare off the only man dumb enough to propose to her. And the wedding hasn’t happened yet, so she needs to be careful! Then again, maybe she won’t care? After all, marriage is “so 2006”? Right Rebecca?
      LMAO.

    • Melinda

      August 7, 2012 at 10:41 pm

      I’m willing to bet Eckler’s ex is thinking he dodged one hell of a bullet…. Probably chewed his arm off to get away.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 8, 2012 at 3:30 pm

      I was with you until the “intentionally harms” part. It sounds like you’re suggesting that formula feeding is harmful. It isn’t. It’s just not the optimal route.

  25. hypatia arez

    August 7, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    I have no issue with people who formula feed their children, it’s a personal choice.

    I do have an issue with people who are apparently trying to prove to us that there should probably be a maturity test before people are allowed to breed. I mean seriously, pointless anecdotes and the unfounded fear of ugly boobs?

  26. Lindsay

    August 7, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Hey everybody, I was looking for a good article to ask this in, and I think this qualifies. Can you please recommend a good mom/parenting blog/feed (other than this one)? I like the intention of this website, but the execution is really poor. (The writers try to come across as witty and edgy but instead just seem sort of entitled and petty.) So. Can you please recommend something like this, but better?

    • k

      August 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm

      I dont have an answer, but I would also really like one

    • BigBlue

      August 7, 2012 at 8:53 pm

      I don’t know any other good ones (I personally like Mommyish) but avoid The Stir. It’s like this, but worse.

    • Julie

      August 8, 2012 at 12:50 am

      Besides baby center, I don’t really know of any that are somewhat like Mommyish in the sense that there is more than one blogger. I CAN however, recommend a few blogs geared toward moms done by individual bloggers that I thoroughly enjoy.

      http://guerrillamom.blogspot.com/ is written by Maria Guido and she is by far my favorite mommy blogger. She’s funny, witty, streetwise and smart. And her son, Lucien, is ADORABLE.

      http://www.themommypsychologist.com/ is a child psychologist. She writes based on her own experiences and also can give advice when it comes to the clinical side of things. She also has an “Ask the Doctor” tab, which I’ve used on occasion and she’s always quick to respond and very helpful.

      and also http://www.scarymommy.com/ who is awesome. She’s not afraid to admit her mistakes and laugh at them and in the parenting world, it’s helpful to know that there are those out there willing to say what we’re all thinking.

      Hope that helps! You may have heard of one or all of them, but they’re my favorites by far!

    • Lindsay

      August 9, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Thank you!

    • Ligia Matesan

      August 12, 2012 at 12:56 pm

      I like thebump.com (by the creators of the knot and the nest).

  27. Pingback: 9 Vintage Baby Formula Ads Tell Us What Crap Companies Were Willing To Say To Discourage Breastfeeding

  28. Bianca

    August 7, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Any medical professional will tell you that having a baby changes your body- and once you’re pregnant, that damage is done. Doesn’t matter if you breast feed or not, your breasts will be different (just like the rest of your body).
    Every woman can make their own choice.
    That doesn’t change the fact that medically speaking breast milk is best for a baby. We simple humans haven’t figured out a way to completely replicate what each unique body does & put it into convenient little powder tins just yet. Any empirical look at breast feeding vs. formula will tell you this.
    That said, not everyone can or should breast feed- that’s obviously a personal decision anyone who has a baby must make with consideration of the advice of their doctor.It seems like more and more women think that specifically breast feeding causes harm to a woman’s breasts. What is this, the 19th century? Do you need a wet nurse to spare your fragile body? Not breast feeding due to simple vanity is… evidence that whoever just gave birth probably isn’t “ready” to parent a child. Also, it’s pretty late in the game for vanity… you’ll take stretch marks, c-section scars, et cetera… but not breasts that could potentially (and probably will already because you’ve just had a baby & that’s just what happens whether you breast feed or not) sag a little?

  29. Terri

    August 7, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    If a headline makes me roll my eyes, it’s pretty much a guarrantee the article was written by Rebecca Eckler.

  30. Morales

    August 8, 2012 at 1:03 am

    It’s OK with me that you didn’t breastfeed. And find it sad that breastfeeding in public seemed to be a problem for you. It’s unfair that mothers of babies getting mommy’s milk are made to be uncomfortable in public. Of course outings with babies, regardless of how they are fed – can be uncomfortable, in the U.S.

  31. Morales

    August 8, 2012 at 1:03 am

    And Canada 🙂

  32. Sarah

    August 8, 2012 at 1:20 am

    Get your facts straight! As others have said… no one is banning formula, NYC nurses will just have to check it out of the pharmacy like anything else they give to patients. And you’ll still be able to buy formula at any store like usual. My mother is a lactation consultant and there are constant issues at her hospital with nurses feeding babies formula without the mother’s consent, simply because the nurses are too lazy to offer breastfeeding support. Furthermore, this NYC ordinance is a way to combat the influence formula reps have over nurses. They lobby them like politicians, buying them dinner and giving them tons of free stuff, including branded diaper bags to give to parents. The point is — it SHOULD be the mother’s choice, and this ordinance is designed to protect that choice from the very beginning.

    • Sara

      August 8, 2012 at 6:47 am

      The hospital where I delivered my daughter (which was supposed to be a “baby-friendly” hospital, meaning they were supportive of mothers wanting to exclusively breastfeed) supplemented her with formula after I had specifically said I didn’t want her supplemented. Arrrggghhhh.

  33. nowherenearyou

    August 8, 2012 at 4:19 am

    Wouldn`t an intelligent woman such as yourself….with such strong convictions and drive to bottlefeed, approach her obstetrician and pediatrician before the birth to convey her feeding plan? Or would that be too simple? It wasn`t even your first child.. Can`t feel for you. Sorry. ps. My mom has saggy ones. Bottle fed all the way. Goodluck with that!

  34. someone

    August 9, 2012 at 12:10 am

    Whoa, calm down, author. You can breastfeed, you can not breastfeed. Scientific studies do show that it’s healthier to breastfeed, and if you were to go to a lab, and break down the hormones in breastmilk, you’d find it’s healthier. But guess what, water’s healthier than juice (which clogs your aquaporins), and parents still give their kids juice. Driving a car is riskier than flying in an airplane, and parents still let their kids drive. It’s okay. Don’t diss the science just because you’re doing well. Breastfeeding is just one factor to a kid’s health, and while yes, we can see breastmilk has better components, there are hundreds of other things being a good mom entails. I’m gonna let my kids watch violent movies, even though violent movies are shown to be less healthy than kid’s programming. We make choices based on our priorities–take ownership of yours, and don’t be so defensive. Calm down! You sound so angry.

  35. teena

    August 9, 2012 at 3:32 am

    Come on, Mommyish. Endless articles on this debate between breast and formula and you are missing the point–this latest one takes the cake. If you are educated and middle-class or above–if you’ve got a kid in private school and ballet classes and have access to plastic surgeons to fix your saggy breasts–then breast vs. formula is not an issue for you. It’s just not–YOU have a choice. I don’t give a rat’s ass whether the nurse at the hospital disapproves or whether the hospital provides formula or I have to ask for it or blah blah blah. I read the news; I know my options; I have a degree of flexibility in my life to decide whether I want to stay home from work and I’ve got enough money and free time to purchase a pump if I want, or organic formula if I prefer, or some sort of combination.

    The women that breastfeeding v. formula affects are the poor–women who work 2-3 jobs and who would probably LOVE to stay home and breastfeed but instead leave their babies with older siblings or other relatives because THEY have no choice. And they’re probably limited in terms of which formula to use as well, based on what’s on sale or what they have coupons for or whatever. And IF such women had the disposable income to purchase a pump, it’d be a question as to whether they’d be able to pump on the job–or jobs–since it’s generally easier to do if you have your own office than if you work on an assembly line. I haven’t dug very deep into the research behind the various breastfeeding benefits claims, but it wouldn’t shock me if when studies correlate breastfeeding to higher IQs, the same studies aren’t taking into account that breastfeeding (at least in the past 10 years) might also have a correlation with the education and income level of the parents and THAT might certainly be of influence as to a child’s score.

    Honestly, the debate is a smokescreen in a way because instead of addressing the real problems–access to quality natal care, general healthcare, the cost of a living wage, etc. etc. we’re sitting around debating whether women who can read mommy blogs feel justified in a choice they are privileged to have.

    • Megan

      August 9, 2012 at 6:24 pm


      I haven’t dug very deep into the research behind the various breastfeeding benefits claims, but it wouldn’t shock me if when studies correlate breastfeeding to higher IQs, the same studies aren’t taking into account that breastfeeding (at least in the past 10 years) might also have a correlation with the education and income level of the parents and THAT might certainly be of influence as to a child’s score.”

      Brilliant insight. I’ve never made that connection until now!

    • lawcat

      August 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

      Yes! That is why the debate is so silly. Lactivists like to spout off all these statistics, but how you feed your child is just one small factor in a child’s development.

    • Rebecca M.

      August 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

      Actually, the studies showing increased IQ *do* correct for mother’s education, income level, etc.

  36. Pk Blue

    August 9, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    She is entitled to her opinion people and has every right to not breastfeed her kid and not be forced to feel like shit about it. I am a mother of two who breastfeed both kids and I hated it, I got fatter and more depressed while I was breastfeeding, my nipples bled and I got mastitis (infection in milk ducts) not once but three times. I couldnt ever go out without my kids not even to the store. My mother didnt breastfeed me and we were bestfriends so the bonding thing is bullcrap. I breastfed for all the reasons they say to. My kids get sick, one has autism and he was nursed the longest. The nurses pressure you and then watch you and will take your nipple and put it in the babys mouth (was done to me) and I just read an article stating that the push for breastfeeding IS going to be getting worse and that formula will be kept from new mothers as much as possible. So get off her case people, it works for some not others. And frankly to all of you who thinks everyone wants to see your tit out at the local family restaurant YOU ARE WRONG, keep it in your shirt or go to the restroom.

    • Suckit

      June 14, 2014 at 1:37 am

      I’ll feed my kid wherever he is hungry F#<K you very much. People shit in restrooms not eat. Grow up, don't look if you don't like it.

  37. Kristen

    August 10, 2012 at 8:48 am

    this post is dumb. quit trying to make yourself feel better for choosing formula. if you were confident in your choice, there would be no point to post this. woohoo for you for choosing to give your new baby a liquid full of chemicals and synthetic ingredients. let’s all give you a sticker and pat your back. yay.

  38. Peggy

    August 11, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    “Now for a bit of bragging, which I don’t often do” Really? Could of fooled me. I thought most of her written work was one big brag fest about how much cooler she is than the rest of us.

  39. kk

    August 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    what a disgusting, passive-aggressive article. may the author bask in her self-centered, narcissistic world.

  40. SarahJane86

    August 12, 2012 at 1:40 am

    I am getting so fed up with whining formula feeding mothers. Really, I am.

    You are not being attacked personal by pro breastfeeding information. It is not produced solely to make you feel guilty or defensive. It is produced to empower women to make the right choice for their child. Women that don’t have university educations and supportive family to back them up.

    People that argue that formula is equal to breastfeeding are being dishonest with themselves. It’s not just the WHO touting the benefits, it’s multiple doctors, midwives, nurses, nutritionists and scientists in multiple countries, under multiple governments, political regimes and religions. How did all these people wind up with the same agenda if it’s just a “crapshoot”?

    I agree there are occasions that formula is best for THAT mother and THAT child, but as a general rule, breastfeeding is best, and that is why maternity hospitals give out as much probreastfeeding information as they can, because while the uptake is quite high, the continuance to 6 months (let’s even forget about 12 or 24 months) is very low. Even in countries with excellent maternity leave schemes.

    So if we’re talking “cults”, let’s talk about the formula feeding cult, where the mothers foam at the mouth and achieve fits of hysteria and screech like fish wives “Don’t make me feel guilty!” every time anyone dares to present the pros of breastfeeding.

    The tone of this article is condescending in the extreme, and you are a selfish person.

  41. Ty

    August 23, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    You might be the most self-indulgent mother I’ve ever heard of.

  42. goodmama

    August 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    I seriously hope you have a future article all about the tubal ligation I’m praying you had. Please stop reproducing, you clearly don’t give two shits about your offspring…

    • DMH

      August 25, 2012 at 3:31 pm

      This.

  43. ZoeBrook

    August 24, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I can’t believe that I have finally found the most selfish person in the entire world.

  44. Zoey

    August 25, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Mom of the Year!!!!

  45. Pingback: How To Go Viral | Writing, Wishing

  46. Amaya

    August 27, 2012 at 7:13 am

    You have a lifetime of antibodies that you can pass on in just a little food to your new child…and you are worried about your bewbs sagging, what a laugh. LOL

  47. Maureen

    August 27, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    This is the same woman who wrote an article about how she was too afraid to give birth vaginally and chose to have a C-section for non-medical reasons. Now she writes about how she won’t breastfeed because her breasts will get messed up. She probably didn’t give birth because she thought her vagina would get messed up too. There are lots of good reasons to formula-feed (or have a C section) but vanity isn’t one of them unless you plan to stay 30 forever and defy aging and gravity.

    Her latest article is how she’s planning some exotic get away and dumping her 10 week infant behind…not surprised. Pretty much every article written by Ms. Eckler reeks of entitled privilege.

    • bang2tang

      January 4, 2013 at 10:07 pm

      and the doctor will be laugh, there will be a lot of patient of C-section because they scared of vaginal labor (sorry just trying to reverse her quotes about boob jobs).

  48. 99pjk

    September 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

  49. Kim

    November 14, 2012 at 2:28 am

    Great new book out for new Mom’s who can’t breastfeed, or choose not to 🙂

    http://www.amazon.com/How-Choose-Baby-Formula-ebook/dp/B00A6RGD8A/ref=sr_1_1

  50. Maegan Bledsoe

    November 24, 2012 at 5:51 am

    I find it a little funny about the “cultish” way you describe your hospital experience. I had babies in 2004 & 2007…both times formula was pushed on me so roughly that I actually suspected they were giving it when they had my babies in the nursery, so I stopped letting them take the baby out of my sight. After talking to friends…It seems to be that whatever your choice – the opposite seems to be pushed “aggressively”. Or maybe that’s simply the new mother’s experience? The hospital I gave birth in (same hospital both times) was “pushing” breastfeeding on my formula feeding friend. She gave birth within a few months of me…Yet I had to practically beg for a pump & a lactation consultant. They finally gave in to both when I threatened to leave AMA. The first time they kept taking the baby while I was asleep. I would awake to an empty room – something they were never supposed to do according to them. B/c I was ALWAYS supposed to verify that the person taking my baby was employed by the hospital. I’d send my husband down to get the baby back. Then with the second I was given a “private” sort of nurse from my OB’s office to help…she said that every time the baby was in the nursery she had to stop them from using a pacifier. After her shift ended, I refused to let them take my baby (this time they WOULD actually wake me to take the baby & verify they were allowed to take her). Breastfeeding with the second was much easier. I only assume at this point it was b/c no one was feeding her or giving her a pacifier (we found the pacifier they were giving my first when I wasn’t around). Do what you want, but don’t act like you had it so rough…lots of moms have to get pushy with the medical staff when they start questioning the new parents first decisions as parents.

  51. Gretchen

    December 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    This was one of the most annoying things I’ve read in a while. Too much to complain about, I better not even begin.

  52. N

    December 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    What a mean-spirited article! Good for you for choosing what your kid eats….By the way, the health issues with formula-feeding actually occur later in life- around 50 years old. Look at the first formula generation (those born in the late 1950’s) and the health problems they have. Formula is only really one generation old- making it hardly ‘safe’ or ‘tested’.

    I too was given formula samples from the hospital…..the first ingredient was CORN SYRUP, and the second ingredient was SUGAR.
    That sounds natural and healthy…

  53. bang2tang

    January 4, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    did she being paid by some formula milk company?

  54. Sarah

    January 7, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    I can’t believe you even wrote something like this!!! I think it should be the mom’s choice of how she is going to feed her baby. But why do you have to bash about breasfeeding?? Who cares what your boobs look like, I mean come on your a mother!!! I was able to breastfeed my oldest for 3 months, I wasn’t producing enough milk for her so had to switch to formula, my 2nd wouldn’t take anything but a bottle no matter how hard I tryed and my 3rd could not latch on. I pumped breast milk for 3 weeks for him and kept trying to get him to latch on. My 3rd is now 5 weeks old and not being able to breast feed him still makes me sad, almost like I have failed as a mother, not because of what others think or say but because I strongly believe in breast feeding and this being my last baby too. And as far as you saying you wanted freedom….well maybe you should of thought about that before having kids. You don’t get freedom once you have babies, they are your responsibility, not someone elses. Anyhow….not trying to bash on you but some of the stuff you said was kind of out there. And not even giving your baby a chance to breastfeed, that is just sad to me, I wish I could of and lord knows I tryed.

  55. Makabit

    March 11, 2013 at 12:03 am

    Yeah, the advantage of having had droop from very early on, is that I had not the slightest concern about whether breastfeeding would ruin my perkiness. Haven’t had perkiness since I could first vote, won’t miss it.

  56. Makabit

    March 11, 2013 at 12:09 am

    I may be sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but I think if I were quite that concerned about the physical impact of having a baby, I might adopt. It’s stressful, but doesn’t change your body at all, unless you eat too many Doritos to cope.

  57. Ugh

    March 14, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Urgh, the nasty comments on this article make me wonder what the primary motivation for breastfeeding is. Feeding your child or feeling superior over other women? Frankly, the language and personal remarks in these comments make me certain it’s the latter. Grow up and stop behaving like spoilt playground brats.

  58. Brandi

    August 21, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    You know.. I thought about breastfeeding maybe say a few minutes in the begging of pregnancy. I’m now 37 weeks. I decided I wanted to formula feed since I got pregnant. I hate the fact how the doctor asked me if I was going to Formula Feed or Breastfeed. I said Formula, and he literally said “No, your not. Your going to try breastfeeding” I have a witness also.. But she didn’t seem to care because she’s all for it also. I’m still going to formula feed no matter what, and If they refuse me formula, I packed some in my bag for my son to have after I give birth. Plus, not to seem to anal or anything ( I don’t know if anyone else had the same problem with this but..) I don’t want anyone else feeding my baby other than me and his father. That’s it. I don’t care how tired I will be, I will get up, and feed my child and hold him to stop crying and everything with it. Yes i am a First time Mom and so is my Husband(first time dad) I’m ready to snap on literally everyone who will keep saying to me to breastfeed and if i don’t they will come over and “HELP” feed MY child and wanting to keep coming over when I don’t need the help and I just want to be ALONE. I’m sorry, If I am totally ranting, I’m just bothered by the fact how these are the MOTHERS choices. It’s not their baby.

  59. KJ

    October 15, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    This was amazing and very real, it seems that readers can’t handle her funny and real experience, she cursed, big deal, it was an amazing article

  60. Joeline

    January 8, 2014 at 3:10 am

    Breast feeding does not ruin you’re breasts at all… It’s the hormone from becoming pregnant that is the cause of breasts sagging.

  61. cathie

    January 16, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    Awesome post! Don’t forget the fact that 99.9% of breastfeeding moms wear deodorant that has been proven to leech into the breast.. Oh yeah feed your kid some aluminum, parabens and Propylene glycol.. How come no one talks about that? breast feeding’s the best? Riiiight…

  62. r u illiterate

    January 18, 2014 at 8:37 am

    learn the difference between all right and alright

  63. Kendra

    January 20, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    I have never been so enraged over comments on a post in my life. I have sat here for the last three hours, scouring the internet for a post like this. Just one post to help me justify my decision. To be fair, the point in this post is that I shouldn’t have to try and justify it. But how sad is it that it took me this long just to find one post. Just one that said what I needed to hear. I am about to be a first time mom and I have never wanted to breastfeed. Okay, maybe for a month or so I thought I would try, but my greater instincts took over and I am back to my original standing. I don’t see how this is “badly written”. All I see is (FINALLY) a woman, standing up for what she believed was right, even if it’s not “the norm”, and putting out a big screw you…and I guess I’m weird because I laughed a few times, quite light heartedly. Nowhere in this post did the writer bash breastfeeding women. I have never read anything on this site in my life, let alone from this writer, but you can bet your judgemental happy asses that I am damn well going to start. I am so appalled by people like all of you. I will not breastfeed and I will not feel guilty about it. I also will not stand by and keep my mouth shut (thank you pregnancy hormones) when I see a group of ignorant, judgemental human beings, being jack holes.

  64. rachaelleegee

    May 25, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    I just found your blog post when I Googled “What if I don’t want to breastfeed my baby?” I’ve felt strongly about using formula all my life and now that I’m pregnant, I feel like it’s solidified (I have done a lot of research). However, the lack of support online and in the medical community is sad. You shouldn’t be shamed into making your kid latch on. I’m not looking forward to the uphill battle I’ll have to fight over this issue as my due date gets closer (I’m only 5 months now). As it is, I had to convince my fiance that breastfeeding was not only something I didn’t want to try, but it also isn’t feasible given my work schedule. He finally conceded. It should not be an “of course you’re going to breastfeed” tone from the doctors- it should be more like “what is your choice?” Women apparently are allowed to decide whether or not to have a baby, but not make the decision about what that child should eat.

  65. ib

    July 23, 2014 at 8:36 am

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  66. ib

    July 23, 2014 at 8:37 am

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  67. zabzab69

    September 23, 2014 at 8:47 am

    I agree that women should have a choice but their is 100% proof that breast feeding is better whether you like it or not. If you choose not to breast feed cause it causes you a problem with your boobs that’s the same as not feeding your child or giving them the medication they need so you can get a boob job or a facelift. Seriously at the very least their is alternatives to formula. You were lucky nothing more. Your child’s healthy by luck. Mother milk contains antibodies white blood cells and Every other little goodie your baby needs. Formula has a the right vitamins and minerals sure but it doesn’t have those unique things for the sheer fact that as of this moment humans can’t technologically reproduce. So if you wanna formula feed by all means I’m 100% support. But when the religious family down the road refuses to give their child medical help because its against their religion don’t get angry at them cause you did exactly what they are doing. Their is no difference

  68. Sheryl Bosworth

    November 1, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    I’m sorry but the real reason she chose to formula feed is because she’s selfish. For all you mothers out there that truly couldn’t breast feed but wanted to, I’m terribly sorry and you did what was necessary. For everyone else, you were selfish to because there was no reason you couldn’t just pump and feed them your milk. It’s not just a question of breast feeding and bottle feeding. It’s natural milk from a genetically linked human versus man made chemicals infused with cows milk. The real humor are these women that choose to formula feed but are probably anti GMO. Goodluck making anymore decisions that would benefit your child since it appears you’re going to determine your own self benefit first. Remember infants don’t know what’s best for them, it’s up to the parents to make sacrifices and use the knowledge available to them to determine what’s best for them. Grow up and I prey you don’t have any more children.

  69. campbell nana

    January 16, 2021 at 4:19 am

    I was married at 32 and immediately tried to get pregnant. When I was unable to conceive I had blood tests for fertility and was told that I had an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) of 54 and would not be able to have children. Even though the doctors knew that I had been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis since age 25, no one bothered to check my thyroid levels. my TSH was measured at .001. My Synthroid dosage was lowered. a friend advise me to contact a spiritualist who help with fertility with his medicine, i collected his contact and explain my situation to him he prepared for me a herbal medicine which i took as describe by him. became pregnant very quickly, I had a successful pregnancy. I have my baby august 2017. to get pregnant at age 35 with my 2nd child in september 2019, thank you sir , this is his email contact if you require his help [email protected] or Facebook at priest.babaka

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