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Why Shorts And I Are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together

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I’m not proud of what happened next. Before I could really think through what I was doing, I grabbed the shorts and the navy and white horizontal striped top they were paired with on the mannequin. And then suddenly Shorts and I were alone together, with me in just my underwear like so many times before.

It only took a single glimpse in the mirror to realize that Shorts and I were never going to work it out. They seemed even shorter than I remembered and the playful rhinestone accents I used to find so charming now struck me as trying to draw attention to all the wrong areas. Just like the last time we were together two years ago, they seemed okay when I was standing up, but were like a completely different article of clothing when I tried to sit down.

As I gathered my pants and made my awkward exit past the dressing room attendant, I knew that this was the last time I’d let Shorts try to charm me again.

shake it off

(via)

I recently started a relationship with Capris. I enjoy how they always have me covered, it only took a brief affair with a thin Jersey Knit Skirt last summer to make me realize how important that is to me. And Capris and I are working together to accept my thighs (they with a dark rinse and 3% spandex blend, me with tunic tops and more lunges. It’s still new. We’re planning a trip to Florida in a couple months and I think seeing how we weather the humidity together could make or break this relationship.

But no matter what happens with Carpris, or even if I trust my sister’s advice to give Maxi Dress a try, one thing’s for certain– I am never, ever ever wearing another pair of shorts again.

(image:Paul Matthew Photography/Shutterstock.com)

 

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