I Love Christmas But I Hate Elf On The Shelf
4. The Elf watches the kids to be sure they behave and get presents. Ick. My children’s good behavior will not be conditional. As it is, I do not use the Santa threat. I do not want to teach them that they need to be good to get presents. I also don’t want them to giggle at a tattle-tale Elf when I tell them all day long not to be tattle-tales. They need to be good year-round- whether there are presents or not. Whether there is a creepy Elf perched on a shelf watching them or not.
5. I’m just not that Pinterest-y. Now, I’ve heard several Elf parents say that they don’t do anything elaborate and the Elf just gets moved now and then. But we all know there are many who go way overboard. These elaborate Elf-scapes some parents set up are so intricate and I just can’t. So, if I did it, my kids would tell their friends “our Elf went from the top of the refrigerator to the end of the couch!” and their friends would probably be like “OUR Elf took a bath in a mug of hot chocolate and left a trail of cocoa all over the counter!” Ugh to the highest power. I don’t need to compete in any other areas, thanks.
6. Kids who don’t have him have to uphold this Hallmark myth for kids that do. Elf lovers are fond of saying- why begrudge me this fun with my children? Well, if your children go to school, it affects their peers. How am I supposed to tell my kids that the Elf doesn’t come to our house because Mommy and Daddy think it’s ridiculous but OOPS don’t ruin it for little Ava-Sophia-Grace at school? I can’t be that cruel. So now, I have to adopt a new “belief” and pretend I think it’s real too, although he doesn’t come to our house. And clearly, I realize Santa is a myth too but at least the vast majority of school children believe in him. I hate lying to my kids about something else that doesn’t exist.
7. Santa is MORE than enough. I said it already but it bears repeating- Christmas in and of itself is pretty incredible. My kids are thrilled to just listen to Christmas carols, go pick out a tree and watch Daddy cut it down and help me hang ornaments. They love hot cocoa. They love the TV specials. They have fun helping pick out gifts for their grandparents. They don’t need gimmicks. They don’t need us setting up whole worlds for a doll that corporate American has convinced so many parents they need. Just do Christmas. It’s what we’ve had all along and it needs no help to be the best day of the year.