The other night, someone had posted a close up of her eye infection. I almost puked. The entire whites of her eye were blood red. There was another photo of her three days after taking eye drops and the white part of her eye was now only half blood red. It still made me sick to my stomach. If I had an eye infection that bad, you can bet your butt I would not leave my house, let alone take a close up photo and post it.
But then I then saw a photo posted by one of my old friends. She's the type of friend that even when we don’t talk in months, we can pick up where we left off as if we had talked yesterday. She is constantly posting photos of her son on Facebook, which is completely normal for a parent these days. In fact, mostly all I post now are photos of my children.
The difference between her 6-year-old and that of others is that her son seems to be a cross-dresser. I’m not talking wearing nail polish. Her son wears tutus and pearls and a lot of pink, often dressing as Cinderella. There are numerous photos of him in dresses. When I last spoke to my friend, about six weeks ago, she said, “I just never knew that my son would be like that.”
She didn’t say this in any negative way. She obviously is proud of her son and loves him to death. It could be a phase. But all our friends, especially her close friends, LOVE these photos of son wearing tutus with a string of pearls around his neck or trying on dresses. The comments are always, “Adorable!” or, “So cute!” The photos are damn cute.
I think, although no one will admit it, that she is very brave. Actually, I’m not so sure if she is courageous or more just showing unconditional love. She doesn’t give a damn how her son dresses and she will post him wearing clips in his hair just as often as she posts photos of her daughter baking.
I had a friend of my fiancé’s over while I was scrolling down her page and he took a look and said aloud, “I would NEVER do that to my son. Never. I would never let him wear dresses let alone post them.”
I kind of wanted to tell him to get the fuck out of my house, because a) this was my friend he was talking about and b) why does he CARE? I think it’s fantastic she posts these photos.
Well, I get it. First, my friend is proud mother. Second, she is progressive and doesn’t give shit what people think.
But I also know way more about cross-dressing than most, because I actually dated a cross-dresser for almost a year. I didn’t know it. And it’s the reason we broke up. Not because he was a cross-dresser, but because I just happened to sneak a look at his history on his computer (not my most proud moment as a girlfriend, but if your gut tells you something is off, it probably is) and saw sites for “how to walk in high heels” and “where to order fish nets?” and videos showing men how to wear make up.
When I confronted him about it, he hung up the phone on me and I never heard from him again. Did I mention he was a very successful and wealthy banker, the equivalent of working on Wall Street in Canada?
I should have saw the signs. For example, he was REALLY secretive. He refused to even have a doorbell. And three pairs of my favorite underwear went missing at his house.
“My housekeeper must have stole them,” he said. Yeah, of course! It all made sense after the breakup. (I STILL miss the underwear.) Once I asked him to bring back a shirt I left there and what he gave me back was a black shirt, but it had lace arms made out of really cheap material and not something I would ever wear or buy. EVER.
“That’s not mine,” I told him over and over.
“Yes it is. I remember you wearing it.”
No, I responded, that lace would make me itch and it’s not my STYLE at all. It was exactly the type of shirt that a man who knows nothing about women’s clothing would wear. I researched the hell out of cross-dressing after he hung up on me and there’s not much out there, except that most cross-dressers are actually straight.
I’m not sure if I would have stayed with him or not, but it had nothing to do with the cross-dressing and more about his arrogance. But still, he had been keeping a huge secret from me. I actually didn’t feel as bad about the breakup as I did for him. To keep such a secret must be painful to say the least. And his reaction to me finding out said it all. He didn’t want anyone to know and if they did find out, like I did, he cut them off.
So, if my friend’s son is not going through a phase and really is a cross-dresser, well good for him and good for her for being proud no matter what.
And, personally, I'd rather see a cute little boy wearing dresses and pearl necklaces and bows in his hair than a photo of the most disgusting eye infection I’ve ever seen.
(photo: Elena Stepanova / Shutterstock)