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10 Ways To Lose A Mom Friend FOREVER

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Mom friends are really hard to come by. Trust me, I know. I have had a really hard time making mom friends in my area, so thank God for all of my wonderful friends here on Mommyish. (I truly mean that when I say it. My Mommyish friends have saved my sanity.) I also have several friends who have become moms who unfortunately live in other states. We still communicate through Facebook, but it’s not the same. I so desperately wish that they lived close by.

Once you get a mom friend, you better keep her. There’s nothing worse than making a wonderful mom-friend-unicorn in your area who you think is legitimately cool, only to lose her friendship a few months later. Your kids play well together, your husbands get along, you actually enjoy talking to her about non-mom things, and then BAM! You step in a landmine, and your friendship is over.

If you want to keep your mom friend, you need to be sensitive to a few hot button parenting topics. Here are 10 sure ways to offend a friend and lose her for good:

1. Schedule a playdate and then don’t show up. Flaky friends always get a black mark in my book.

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2. Hover over your kid during playtime. Talk using the voice of your child and blame fights on your friend’s child. “Why won’t Aiden give you the tractor back? Is he a meanie?”

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3. Comment on how your kid has hit all his milestones early. Comparing kids is the best way to lose a friend for good.

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4. Ask if her child has been tested for fill-in-the-blank. “Oh, Aiden isn’t walking yet? Has he been tested for LEPROSY?”

10 Ways To Lose A Mom Friend FOREVER tumblr lqpmrjCpIJ1qds1uqo1 500 gif5. Judge her parenting. Make sure that you do this with a very distasteful look on your face.

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6. Ask her to judge your parenting. Ask for her opinion on co-sleeping, breast-feeding, or potty training, and then get offended at her response.

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7. Share scary parenting stories that you read on the Internet. Make sure not to cite your sources.

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8. Ask about her birth experience. Remember to feign interest and then compare her labor time and outcome to yours in a passive aggressive manner.

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9. Gossip about her parenting with other mom friends. This is the perfect way to implode a mom group. Take notes.

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10. Bring up one of the Big Three parenting debates and start an argument. SAHM versus working mom, vaccination versus anti-vaxx, breast-feeding versus formula-feeding—take your pick.

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(Image: auremar/Shutterstock)

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