By The Time Your Kid Reaches Age Ten No One Will Dare Judge Your Bad Parenting
Do you have a kid who is ten or over the age of ten years? Congratulations! No one gives a shit if you are a bad parent anymore! I say this as a mom who has three kids over the age of ten and I cannot remember the last time anyone ever questioned my parenting skills or judged me for what I was doing wrong or told me that my teenage son looks cold and should probably put on a sweater. I have decided that the majority of parental judgement and mommy-shaming is aimed distinctly at the under ten set because humans are so damn worried a small human will die because someone gives them a sip of soda or lets them play in the yard unattended for five minutes that they feel the need to pass judgement on the parents of above-mentioned small humans. Because if something bad does happen then they can be the one who said I told you so.
I feel for you parents of babies and toddlers. Everyone always wants to tell you what you are doing wrong. But by the time your kid reaches a certain age and you speak with another parent of a kid who is around the same age you are both sort of in this special group of parents who have made it this far. Instead of judging each other you both sort of sigh and roll your eyes and commiserate about how annoying older kids can be, and chances are if your teen son has broken into your vodka stash their teen son has done the same thing. Your kids are no longer as little and delicate as they once were. Instead of sticking things in electrical sockets they are whipping out their iPhones in public and even though that’s rude and annoying, I have yet to hear about a kid who was injured texting about Kanye during a pasta dinner.
Sure, if your older kid is an utter asshole or a bully or worse, other parents will judge you but for the most part, once your kid reaches a certain age no one cares anymore. Your ten-year-old rode his bike without a helmet! My jerk son does the same thing and I have to chase him down the street with it! Your teen son forgets to take the garbage out even though you have asked him a million times? Mine does too, want to help me cover his room in post-it note reminders? You are worried about your pre-teen daughter wearing short shorts because you know some creepy older dudes will catcall her? Join the club!
It’s like after a certain point we all start to realize we are all in this big stupid parenting thing together and we say a small prayer of thanks anytime anyone is going though the same thing we are. Instead of voicing that we do things differently or silently smirking that our parenting skills are much better than someone else’s, we all high five that we are going through the same damn thing. I have totally solved the mommy wars. Just wait a few years.