mom fun

10 Reasons Tacos Are Better Than Toddlers

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tacoimageIt’s that day again; the one where you know that all is right and good with the world. The day where you can wrap your troubles in a homemade, light-as-air flour tortilla, smother it with pico and cojita, dip it in queso and sprinkle the whole thing with cilantro, knowing that a ray of sunshine will soon poke through the darkest sky and warm your heart and tummy. That’s right. It’s Taco Tuesday.

Here in Austin, we have a serious hard on for tacos of all kinds. You can purchase them al pastor from gross-looking food trucks. You can get them from drive-thrus and know that there’s actual meat and not “meat” in them. You can eat them at a brick and mortar establishment in strange and wondrous combinations, like the “Trashy Trailer Park”, which is two fried chicken fingers with pico, queso, and this delishballs jalapeno sauce.

Tacos are better than pretty much everything, and that’s a fact. You already know that tacos are better than babies. But did you know that they’re better than toddlers, too? Of course you did. Everything is better than toddlers.

1. Both tacos and toddlers can be messy, but only one is the poo kind of messy.

2. Speaking of which, you will never have to potty train a taco. 

3. If a taco starts to get on your nerves, you can just eat it. Trust me, you can not do this with toddlers.

4. Toddlers will cry if you roll them up in a delicious soft corn tortilla, tacos don’t mind this at all. 

5. If there’s something you don’t like about a taco, you can just pick that part off and go about your day.

6. A taco will never scream “DO IT MYSELF!” when you try to put toppings on it.

7. It is difficult to find a taco soaked in urine. Urine-soaked toddlers are a dime a dozen. 

8. A taco will never break your stuff (except your heart, when you realize there are no more tacos left). Toddlers are guaranteed to break all of the things.

9. Tacos are thoughtful and never leave their toys laying around, especially legos. Tacos don’t even like legos.

10. You can instagram a picture of a taco and cerveza, but do this with a toddler and some sanctimommy will call CPS on you.

(Image: LHF Graphics/Shutterstock)

20 Comments

  1. SA

    June 24, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    hahaha. #6. I just pictured a taco doing that.

  2. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    June 24, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    3. If a taco starts to get on your nerves, you can just eat it. Trust me, you can not do this with toddlers.

    Instructions unclear. I may have eaten my toddler.

    Side note: That last GIF may or may not resemble me on a kid-free weekend we had recently. No photographs of that day exist, because thankfully I know the passcode to my husband’s phone…

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      June 25, 2014 at 10:14 am

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  3. Boozy Shark Lee

    June 24, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    I beg to differ with #1. A bad taco can be “poo” messy.

  4. Fallopian Twerker Phillips

    June 24, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Cilantro!

    • BexleyS

      June 24, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      The Devil’s herb!

  5. Kat

    June 24, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    These GIFs are amazing. I could watch #5 and #7 all day.

  6. CMP414

    June 24, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I seriously need to eat like 50 tacos right now but sadly we went out for Mexican last night so it probably won’t happen 🙁

    • joanne

      June 24, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      But did you have tacos last night? If not you can go get tacos tonight. It’s just like eating steak and mashed potatoes for dinner one night and then chicken with french fries the next. (Although if you did have tacos last night, you can still have tacos tonight. Tacos every night!) (I am a total taco apologist)

    • CMP414

      June 24, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      I did indeed. This awesome place we go to is like an hour from my house but it’s totally worth it. It’s by my husband’s work so I told him next time I pick him up we will go again

  7. Alex Lee

    June 24, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    “4. Toddlers will cry if you roll them up in a delicious soft corn tortilla, tacos don’t mind this at all.”

    So, you’re anti-swaddler, then?

    BRB, going to make world’s first quesarito-baby

  8. allisonjayne

    June 24, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    All of this!

    My kid wanted to be a taco for halloween this year. I was so excited to make her an awesome taco costume! Now she has changed her mind and wants to be stupid Elsa. Ugh.

  9. redzulu

    June 24, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Wow I had no idea Elsa could do that! No wonder little girls want to be just like here! lol

  10. brebay

    June 24, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    I want Baby #10.

  11. chill

    June 24, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    I so love #10. We are moving so I’m cleaning out the refrigerators. The extra fridge in the basement has a ton of old beer in it (my husband likes beer so people give him gifts, but he never wants to drink it. Strange, I know. Unfortunately, I mostly like wine and liquor, so I don’t drink it either.) Dd8 loves the smell of wine and beer, so she volunteered to empty them down the sink (I swear, I was mostly watching her) Afterwards, we filled up half of the recycle bin with empty beer cans which I took out to the curb to be picked up the morning, and then the next day I had an empty wine bottle to add to it. Both kids wanted to take it out to the bin, but I wouldn’t let them, so they chased me out to the curb… of course the neighbor was out then, just in time to see my kids running after me, wanting to hold the empty wine bottle as I deposited it in the bin full of empty beer cans. I was waiting for DFCS to come all day…

  12. Sailor Fruitpunch

    June 24, 2014 at 10:09 pm

    Oh, man, I was planning on tacos tonight but then I realized we already the meat out for spaghetti.

    Hubs did introduce me to the most amazing burrito stand in Cali. In fact, if I’m getting the timing right, I think that burrito I ate is the reason I got pregnant.

  13. PAJane

    June 25, 2014 at 11:55 am

    TACO CAT backwards is TACO CAT.
    TODDLER CAT backwards is just alphabet soup.

  14. Lori Ransom

    July 2, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Here’s the best way to have the best of both worlds: http://www.superfuntimegifts.com/collections/frontpage/products/tortilla-baby-blanket
    LOL

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