Brutally Honest Valentine’s Day Cards For Boring Monogamous People

Valentine’s Day can be downright repetitive when you’re in a long-term relationship. How many times can you buy the same card with the hearts and the flowers and the sunsets before you start feeling like a total phony? That’s why this year, I made some more specific cards, that speak to the special love and honesty that you share in a long-term relationship. It’s the little things that we overlook that make long-term relationships special, folks.

Just bring me some flowers next week.

crap holiday

 

I love that you know this relationship has boundaries.

 

horror

 

The best thing about bedtime is your warm shins.

 

icicle

Actually, it’s not just the gesture that counts. 

carnations

Thanks, honey. 

 

thanks

 

Thanks for ignoring the less-than-glamourous parts.

 

plucking

What’s with this silverware thing? 

silverware

 

You’re the best.

mom(photos: Getty Images)

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