Mommyshame

Anonymous Mom: I Hate My Sister In Law Passionately

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hate my sister in law Full disclosure: my brother is not a blood relation and he’s sort of more my first child. The backstory here is when I was ten, my mother took him in as a six-month-old to babysit him full time. His mother had many issues of her own and was largely an absentee mother. For this reason he practically lived with us for his first six years. Being ten years older than him I became his little mommy. Toting him around on my hip, feeding, diapering, and later driving him all over. Now he’s a 30-year-old man and fairly recently married. I didn’t know his fiancee well before the wedding and saw little of her afterward. Their baby came soon after.

Almost all off what I know of her and her parenting style is via social media.
This woman makess Narcissus look humble. Every. Single.Thing. She does or thinks or waxes poetic about is posted for mass consumption with tranquil, artful filters. There are professional photo shoots for everything ( an expense I know my brother can’t afford). She often posts about people in general being addicted to social media to the detriment of their children, yet posts about three to five times a day. She laments her limited time with the baby since she works, but posts all of her homesteading endeavors, workouts, crafts, home cooking, ad nauseam.

All this I could possibly handle, except it’s never (never) about the baby or my brother, for that matter. Everything is all about her. Hey amazing parenting skills, her kitchen skills, her boundless creativity and beauty. You may think I’m simply jealous. No, my son is ten. I breastfed six months, made all of his baby food and love him with every ounce of my being. And love him even more each day. I’m just disgusted by her me, me, me, it’s all about me mentality that seems to be getting so much more prevalent in this age of social media, likes and followers. I wish I could like her. Hell, I wish I could tolerate her. Does anyone out there have any advice on how to handle this sort of mom? I never even know how to respond on Facebook. She’s said anyone who criticizes her will be immediately deleted!

(Image:  lineartestpilot /shutterstock)

118 Comments

  1. jane

    June 16, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    You hate your SIL passionately even though she’s never actually done anything to you? Or your brother? Or their kid? Basically because she’s super annoying on facebook?

    I have an idea: unfriend her on facebook. Get to know her in real life.

    Sorry, but the fact that you could feel so much vitrol towards someone because of an annoying social media presence says more about you than it does about her.

    • falcongirl

      June 16, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Yeah, I was sort of expecting her to be worse, but this just seems like mildly annoying social media nonsense. You don’t even have to unfriend her — you can just unfollow her and you’ll be able to forget she exists.

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      June 17, 2014 at 3:09 am

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    • whiteroses

      June 16, 2014 at 10:06 pm

      I agree. Honestly, my *rare* posts on Facebook are not even close to what I actually think and feel in real life. The people I see all the time know how I think and feel, and I don’t need to restate it. If you’re judging someone based on social media and social media alone, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

  2. The Redhead

    June 16, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Unfollow her feed. She will never know and you will never have to see her ridiculous posts! Win-win!
    My SIL is a piece of work too. She lives for drama and tries to stir it up wherever she can (especially at family gatherings). Of course, her Facebook posts depict her as a loving and supportive mother and wife. But we all know the truth!

  3. AP

    June 16, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I think you need to get to know her in person. I know some people who act completely insufferable or otherwise obnoxious on social media, who are actually quite delightful people otherwise.

  4. wispy

    June 16, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    I don’t think there’s much you can do. Just hide all her posts. Out of sight out of mind.

  5. CMJ

    June 16, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    I know people who are totally awesome in real life but their FB “personas” make me want to cut out my eyeballs. Block her and get to know her in real life.

    The things you have described, while extremely annoying, don’t sound really hate-worthy to me. Unless I missed something….

  6. Kristen

    June 16, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    This is a really easy fix. Unfollow her on facebook and all other social media. Ignorance is bliss.

  7. Jem

    June 16, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    This all sounds really, really trivial. Seriously? You’re mad because she posts about being a parent too much but then you’re mad that she doesn’t talk about your brother or their child enough? Get a grip. Things could be so, so much worse. My brother’s baby mama kidnapped their son and brought him to another state for awhile while hopped up on meth. (he is fine now) Things could be worse, I promise you.

    But I will say the threatening to delete anyone who criticizes her is hilarious and stupid all at the same time.

    • blh

      June 16, 2014 at 2:59 pm

      Yeah, seriously, this woman knows nothing about terrible in-laws.

    • whiteroses

      June 16, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      I’m also confused- which is it? She talks about being a mom too much, or not enough? I’m guessing that no matter what the SIL does, it wouldn’t be enough for AM.

  8. Jennifer Freeman

    June 16, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    It sounds as though she is maybe a bit bored or lonely, with a dose of insecurity thrown in. She seems to be fishing for compliments or any sort of attention, really. None of it sounds hate-worthy though – she just sounds immature. I agree with other commenters that it would be a good idea to get to know her in person.

  9. Sara610

    June 16, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    I feel like I’m missing something here. You seem to have a real, venomous hatred for this person based on–if the article gives a complete picture and you’re not leaving out anything major–fairly petty, insignificant things. Annoying, yes, but I don’t see anything here that seems to merit the level of hatred that you have for this woman. It seems especially weird to hate her so much considering that you say you have very little actual experience with her.

  10. Kelly

    June 16, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Hide her on facebook so you don’t have to see her bullshit.

    I have a friend who in real life is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. She would literally give you the shirt off of her back but on facebook she’s the most narcissistic uppity bitch I’ve ever encountered. If I only knew her from facebook, I’d hate her.

    I just hide her so I never have to see her bullshit and we get along just fine. There’s something about social media that turns some people into assholes.

    • Melissa

      June 16, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      This on so many levels. I feel the same way about certain family members and friends based on their social media persona, and I have to step back sometimes and realize that all my real life interactions with them represent a normal, well-adjusted, not narcissistic and self-absorbed person.

      But then I wonder who the real person is – the person that I see before me in real life or the person who they are behind the protection of a computer monitor. Does social media turn people into assholes, or does it reveal them?

    • Kelly

      June 16, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      It probably depends on the person.

      The woman I know seems to get taken in by all the crap you can repost on facebook. Some of it is offensive. In real life, she doesn’t seem to think I’m a bad mom for vaccinating my children or drinking soda but the shit she shares on facebook says that’s exactly what I am.

      I don’t think she’s smart enough to figure that out though. Then when someone calls her out on it, she gets really defensive and takes it as a personal attack, without realizing that she started the attack. She’s very nice but the reality is that she has a low IQ. She’s too stupid to understand that those “fun” things she shares on facebook are incredibly judgmental and insulting. I know that sounds insulting towards her but some people just aren’t very smart. She’s one of them but she has plenty of other good qualities.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      I pointed out to my friend the other night that half the population has a below-average IQ. It definitely doesn’t make your friend worth less as a person, though I do have to ask if anyone she knows has gently pointed out to her that her Facebook posts can be insulting.

    • Kelly

      June 16, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Yes, many people have pointed it out to her. I did it myself before I just unfollowed her. She just thinks people are attacking her opinion.

      I’ve seen entire rooms of people visibly cringe when she starts talking about something she’s obviously incapable of understanding. It’s sad but there’s no nice way to tell someone, “Look, you aren’t very bright. Maybe you should just stick to simple topics.”

    • Kelly

      June 16, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      I feel like I should give an example of what I’m talking about so I’ll relate the instance that made me unfollow her.

      She posted something about how people who don’t buy organic food don’t care about their health and are bad parents because they’re basically abusing their children. I said that was pretty harsh and she asked me how. I said, well, you just said I was a bad parent and that I abuse my children because I don’t always buy organic. Then she became defensive and said it was just her opinion. So I asked her if it was really her opinion that I was an abusive parent. Then someone else mentioned that some people can’t afford to buy organic and it certainly doesn’t make them bad people or abusive parents.

      Then she went into an angry rant about how everyone is so mean and judgmental because they won’t just let her have her opinion. I had given up at this point but a few of her friends pointed out that her initial post was very judgmental and personally insulting to many of her friends.

      Then she posted about a dozen more times that day about how much she hates “sheeple” and people are so stupid for supporting Monsanto and believing everything the government tells them. She even unfriended several people, only to send them new friends requests the next day.

      She still has no idea how she was rude. The first time I saw her do something like that, I just thought she was a bitch. But, after knowing her for awhile I realize that she just doesn’t have the brain power to understand what she’s doing wrong.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      Yeah, now I can see how the only solution there is to hide her on FB. I’ve got a few friends of my own who aren’t aware of how unaware they are, and I try to smile and appreciate their other great qualities instead.

    • moonie27

      June 16, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      This is a minor (and probably petty) point, but actually IQ falls along a bell curve, so most people are at an average IQ and less than half the population really rests below the average. (And less above.)

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 17, 2014 at 1:04 am

      Haha, I originally made my comment to my friend in jest because we were griping about how dumb some of the drivers on the road were! Then again, I am in Colorado, so I’m sure a lot of that has just as much to do with distribution along the bell curve as it does with the ready availability of a certain mind-altering substance.

    • Jallun-Keatres

      June 16, 2014 at 6:51 pm

      Only mildly related, but my sister (who is mentally challenged) has a facebook and ‘likes’ every picture that shows up in her feed, whether she even understands it or not. Of course, this all shows up in all of OUR feeds. My dad had to go into her account and delete a person because all these pics from Playboy South Africa, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, and crap like that started showing up that she liked it. My husband and I got a kick out of the fact that Jallun-Sister is unknowingly into pr0n. XD

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      June 18, 2014 at 5:02 pm

      I have a friend on facebook who just gets on my tits so much.
      she’s lovely in person but all she does ALL FUCKING DAY is bitch about how “ill” she is and how it’s shit she can’t get work due to this “illness” (she suffered from a short bout of depression 12 years ago)
      and she always gives out about people who refuse to work and spend all their time putting up stupid motivational pictures…and she does the same.
      Every day I get tagged in at least 4-5 pictures of her fucking dog, she’s always sending me pictures of her new baby cousin (yeah cute kid but I don’t need a photo of him in response to every question I fucking ask you)

      I’m *this* close to blocking her, I’m sick of it.

      I work 8am til 6pm 6 days a week and still struggle with bills.
      she lives at home (aged 29) has never lived away from home and goes drinking every weekend. pays her folks no rent or anything and she has the nerve then to shame me online for “being an auld mammy” because I A) Want to spend time with my kids instead of getting bladdered or B) Don’t have the money for it.

  11. Momma425

    June 16, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Why not just block her from your newsfeed?

  12. JenH1986

    June 16, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    I would unfollow her or put her on limited list if it’s on FB. After that I would decide if you want to make the effort to get to know her. If not then you only have to deal with her at family functions, which sounds few and far between from your posts. I don’t think it’s fair to hate her based on social media alone. If people judged me on my social media alone they’d think I was a boring judgmental bitch (I hate when people spell lose as loose. HATE.IT.) If she acts like that IRL then you just bite the bullet the 2x a year you see her and move on.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 17, 2014 at 1:09 am

      Oooh, homophone confusion gives me ulcers. I spent the better part of last winter pulling my hair out as several of my Facebook friends posted status updates about how their cars were “loosing [their] breaks” as they racked up the miles in icy and snowy conditions. The loud weeping from behind my computer screen will likely continue into the official start of summer.

    • JenH1986

      June 17, 2014 at 8:13 am

      I freely admit when I get fired up about something my ability to type goes out the window. But the 3rd time I see “I am loosing weight!” I know that the person just doesn’t know what the hell they are doing. Lately I’ve had to correct “past v. passed”. Why is it so damn hard to know those are not the same things?

  13. LadyClodia

    June 16, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    I agree with the others that recommend just hiding her in your feed. If her posts are upsetting you that much, then it’s not worth it. She’s probably not going to notice that you aren’t commenting on or liking her posts. Or maybe just argue with her, if she unfriends you then problem solved. But mostly I’d say just ignore her.

  14. Shelly Lloyd

    June 16, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    I post a lot of my craft stuff on FB. I am learning how to professionally decorate cakes at the bakery, and I like to practice at home and show off what I have learned. I also sew by hand and machine, embroider, knit and crochet. I like to post in progress photos and finished photos. I also have a really good SLR camera and can take really good photos of my projects if the mood strikes me. When I was in college I would do seasonal work at a photo studio so I can take pictures that look professional. When I’m in the mood I will also make homemade jam, or bake bread from scratch. And sometimes I will post it on FB. I swear if it wasn’t for the fact that I do not have my SIL on my FB (because she think’s I’m a stupid red-neck) and my children are teens and she has no kids; I would swear you where her.
    As other’s here has said, if her post bother you so much, then unfriend her and move on with her life. I say send her here, I would like to meet fellow crafter and mom.

    • pixie

      June 16, 2014 at 2:55 pm

      Yay crafty friend!
      I’m just learning how to sew (my mom is teaching me and we’re making a dress together for a wedding I’m going to on friday…it’s SO CLOSE to being done), but I’ve been cross-stitching for years and just finished one of some minions from Despicable Me as a surprise for my 11 year old cousin. I need to learn how to knit and crochet, though, that’s next on my list!
      (Nothing really to do with the AM story, but I saw your comment about craft things and couldn’t help myself in getting excited over someone who also likes crafts)

    • 2Well

      June 16, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      I am so thankful that five-year-old me actually paid attention when my grandmother taught me to crochet. It gave me a great hobby as an adult, and I feel connected to her now she’s gone. I’m trying to finish the projects she had going, but it’s a bit difficult when she bought the yarn before I was born, and didn’t buy enough of each color, and I’m trying to figure out her pattern just by looking.

    • pixie

      June 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      Aw, that’s lovely. I inherited my grandmother’s sewing machine when she passed away (it’s in my parents’ basement right now though because it’s kind of really heavy and my mom has hers upstairs where we’re sewing my dress anyways). I would have loved to have finished the baby quilts my grandmother was making before she passed away (that woman made baby quilts for everyone and their mother), but unfortunately she never taught me how to quilt so I wasn’t able to.

    • Katherine Handcock

      June 16, 2014 at 7:59 pm

      Oh, I would really love to learn to sew! I knit – stuffed toys mostly, thank you Jean Greenhowe for making the most adorable patterns that knit really, really fast – but I never really learned sewing. I just discovered a sewing school in my area and it’s gotten me very excited! I’m thinking my Christmas gift to me may be a sewing machine and lessons 🙂

    • pixie

      June 16, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      That’s awesome 🙂 It’s a lot of fun and not too difficult once you get the hang of it. Admittedly, my mom is doing most of the really hard stuff (I picked a pattern that wasn’t the easiest because I wanted a specific style of dress), but I’ve learned a lot so far and have done my fair share of sewing (I have a new found loathing for sewing netting, even though I love how it makes my dress pouf out a bit). 😉

    • Shelly Lloyd

      June 17, 2014 at 8:14 am

      Oh, that is so sweet. Have you tried: http://www.discontinuedbrandnameyarn.com/shop/ It might help you find the right yarn.

    • 2Well

      June 17, 2014 at 11:59 am

      Brilliant website. However, some of this is literally dollar store brand yarn.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      June 17, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      Ok. Good luck I hope you find matches for finishing the project. I think it is such a lovely thing to do.

    • 2Well

      June 17, 2014 at 5:30 pm

      Thank you. It will be great to snuggle up under an afghan knowing that it belongs to two generations of women.

      My sister got the sewing and scrapbooking gift.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      June 17, 2014 at 8:13 am

      That is great. My mom use to sew a lot of our clothes when we were kids, but once we were old got out of it. She gave my sister her old singer and she uses it to make curtains and costumes for her kids. My mom was living out of state for a several years, but just recently moved back near and I’m so happy to get to pick her brain about sewing.

  15. C.J.

    June 16, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    Her being annoying isn’t worth antagonizing your brother. I have SIL that was a real peach. We all kept our mouths shut because we didn’t want to make it worse for my brother. She ended up cheating on him and they are now in the process of divorce. My brother felt like he could come to his family without judgement when the marriage broke up because we didn’t create more problems when he was with her. If the only thing she is doing is being annoying on facebook then just block her posts. If there is more to the story that you haven’t said then try to be quietly supportive of your brother and wait for him to need you. You don’t have to like her but for your brother’s sake you should try to tolerate her.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 3:54 pm

      That is an interesting perspective. In my one and, I rather hope, only long-term relationship, I discovered far too late that *I* was the family member with the real peach of an SO. I sort of wish my relatives had given me a heads-up that they disliked him as much as they did, since it might have saved me a couple years’ worth of aggravation, but since AM here doesn’t seem to have given any solid IRL reasons for resenting her SIL (wow, was that a big batch of acronym soup!), I’m definitely agreeing with you on tolerating this woman and trying to get to know her better in person, at least until the SIL proves to be manifestly intolerable.

    • C.J.

      June 16, 2014 at 4:30 pm

      My brother knew how we felt. There were a few things she did that were very upsetting. It was impossible to hide how we felt about those things. We just didn’t create any drama over it. We treated her with respect even though she didn’t deserve it. We just felt it was better to tolerate her since that is who my brother chose and hope he would come to his senses one day.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      Oh, I think it’s a great policy to be tolerant and avoid drama! Perhaps my family was giving cues as to how they felt about my ex, but because I’ve got a condition that makes reading social and emotional cues difficult, I was unable to pick up on them. So while I’m glad they didn’t create drama, I sort of wish they had spoken up clearly about their feelings.

    • C.J.

      June 16, 2014 at 4:57 pm

      If my brother had a condition like yours I probably would have taken him aside and let him know what I was seeing and that I love him and would still respect whatever choices he made. I have actually done that with a close friend. She wasn’t upset with me because she knew I was just worried about her and she did come to us when the big problems started.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      It definitely sounds like you did the best thing you could have in both cases. Like your friend, I truly appreciate meaningful input–there have been a lot of situations in my life in which, after the fact, all I could do was garble out, “Shit, really? I had no idea!”

    • C.J.

      June 16, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      I think we all have moments like that. If we didn’t we would never learn anything.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 17, 2014 at 12:58 am

      True story. It just feels like my, “Well, DUH!” moments arrive more frequently and much later than they do for the rest of the world. :/

    • C.J.

      June 17, 2014 at 9:17 am

      Well, at least you figure them out eventually. Some people go through life without ever figuring them out.

    • koolchicken

      June 16, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      One of my SIL’s is horrible. But we don’t say anything about it to him. I know some people expressed concerns before and just after they were married but he didn’t care. Now we figure after two decades he knows how she acts and that most normal people have a problem with that. For example she’s racist and openly abuses the kids. We tried for years to visit with them, but he always had a reason why he couldn’t get together. We now go on the assumption that he, sadly, is just like her. He was kind a a jerk/tyrant growing up so that’s probably it. I’ve seen those kids four of five times in the past decade. It’s sad but you can’t force people to do things differently.

      So sometimes people don’t say anything because they don’t think it’ll make a difference. My husband and his brothers could sit him down and say he has to leave her and take the kids. But he won’t do it because he loves her. My MIL has tried everything, even given them a house to get them to let her see the kids. But no dice. So I wouldn’t take it personally when family members don’t get involved. It’s very draining when the infatuated party doesn’t want to listen. I just solved this problem by not friending them on social media to begin with. And I try not to think of them at all.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 17, 2014 at 1:00 am

      She openly abuses the kids and no one has called the authorities?! I totally get that you can only help those who want to be helped if they’re of legal age, but if there are minors being hurt, that’s a completely different story. Though if your brother can’t see it, I could see writing him off as a lost cause.

    • koolchicken

      June 17, 2014 at 1:52 am

      I’ve often debated calling CPS anonymously. But if anyone ever found out my marriage would be over. And the reality of it is emotional abuse can be hard to prove. I can see it, everyone in the family has seen it (I don’t know about anyone outside of the family because we don’t know any of their friends or kids teachers/coaches/etc.). But her daughter WILL develop an eating disorder, her son WILL develop severe trust issues. They will both suffer from depression and anxiety if they don’t already. And that’s just the little stuff. But unless she does this crap in front of someone that counts it’s all just hearsay. She’s dumb as a post but I think it’s fair to say she’d be smart enough not to pull the crap I’ve seen from her in front of a case worker. After all her kids have been in public schools for more than a decade so she’s getting away with it. I think for my family it’s better we simply stay away as my husband and BIL are both mandated reporters and if she’s ever investigated people are going to want to know why they didn’t come forward. Her oldest has already moved out, he was gone as soon as he was old enough and had enough money to get away. I hope he goes to the authorities cause at least he’ll be believed and can give recent examples.

    • Kelly

      June 17, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      Do you care about these kids at all? I ask because I was openly abused and none of my family cared enough about me to make an anonymous phone call. I have nothing to do with them because of it.

      Hearsay or not, I would have appreciated knowing that at least one of my many relatives gave a shit about me. As it stands, I know none of them did. That will be your niece and nephew’s reality as well. No one in their family gave a shit about them. It’s an exceptionally shitty way to feel.

    • koolchicken

      June 17, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      You know, exactly the same thing happened to me. Except perhaps worse. I was wildly abused for years, both beaten and raped. My relatives on my fathers side did try to talk to him get him to stop, didn’t work. When my mother left him and tried to press charges against my father the DA told my mother point blank he wouldn’t be taking this to trial. My cousin was high up in the state police and made it all disappear. BOTH sides of the family dropped up completely because of “rumors” that my mother was a whore and had another man (she’s been single since we left) and that was the “real” reason she left him. I speak to almost no one in my family, either side.

      I think about reporting this chick constantly. I try to forget about her but I do think about the kids. At some point I’ll give in and do it. but she’ll still get away with it.

    • Kelly

      June 17, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      Plus the thought of protecting mandated reporters who failed to report over abused children makes me sick to my stomach.

      Oh, we can’t tell now because then someone will find out these sick assholes didn’t do what they are required by law to do. Heaven forbid! Just keep abusing the kids to protect the irresponsible, cold hearted adults.

      Disgusting.

    • koolchicken

      June 17, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      You and me both. Believe me, there have been fights over it.

      But I think it’s important to remember cultural politics are at play here as well. I know this is flat out abuse. But crap like this may seem okay to some people. She’s “toughening up” the boy because he cries too much. And she’s reminding the girl she has to stay thin and pretty if she want’s to be successful (married). I see it for what it is, a boy who cries all the time because he’s being bullied and a girl that’s told to close her mouth every time she opens it because she’s fat.

      I don’t particularly care how my husband and his brothers were raised and that they thought it was “normal”. It was wrong and they’re finally starting to see that. Now that we have a son I think my husband is coming around because he doesn’t want what happened to him to happen to his son. Change can be slow but at least it’s happening. And really our contact with them has been so minimal a case could never be made against my husband or his siblings. But still, it pisses me off to no end to be told to “keep out of it”. If anyone ever found out they were visited by CPS I know I would be blamed. I’ve been talking about it for years. And you know what, at some point I’m going to take someone else’s phone and call. But it’ll do nothing. I guarantee it.

    • Rachel Sea

      June 17, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      If they are mandated reporters they have to come forward.

    • Rachel Sea

      June 17, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      I have a policy of non-intervention unless a relative or friend specifically asks my opinion. Volunteering doubts doesn’t usually do much of anything towards breaking up the relationship, and is more likely to hurt my relationship with my friend or family member.

  16. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    June 16, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I…I know that Facebook can be annoying. Full disclosure: My little sister’s Facebook posts actually hurt our relationship. They made me feel like she was fake, like she didn’t value our relationship as sisters, and like my family as a whole meant nothing to her. They often upset me or made me angry. We had disagreements over a variety of things, and she seemed willing to post about all of them in a way that made me feel she was posting directly to me.

    But I don’t see how you can “hate” someone for their Facebook posts. I’m a big advocate of the idea that any time you communicate, you should do it with your audience in mind–including on social media. Communicating for the sake of saying something, rather than because you have something to say, is pointless to me.

    But there are a variety of ways that you can deal with it. My sister, for instance, is blocked. This is to keep me from going to her page to sneak peeks and leaving feeling resentful. At first, she didn’t understand. After we talked it through though, we actually mutually agreed that this has helped our relationship–because I don’t have that resentment (and the guilt about feeling resentful) I feel like every time I see her we can focus on the present, on just enjoying each other’s company. It’s more superficial, but I think my mom puts it best…”With some people, you just have to keep it at the surface.”

    It doesn’t sound like you are jealous of her as a mom, but I wonder if you are jealous of her relationship with your brother. You explained that you kind of felt like you raised him. Maybe examine the way that you look at her in terms of a daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationship. Take a deep look and see if there are other factors at play–because hopefully, this is someone that will be in your brother’s life for a long time, someone who makes him happy, and therefore, she’ll be in your life for a very long time.

    I recommend, until you figure this out, hiding your SIL on Facebook. I definitely think you have some things that may be under the surface to work out.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      June 16, 2014 at 2:16 pm

      I agree about it sounding like she was jealous of the relationship she had with her brother. I sense that no woman will ever be good enough for her brother/pretend child.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      June 16, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Yeah, that kind of jumped out to me from the post.

    • whiteroses

      June 16, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      And that makes sense- but how she feels really matters not at all in this instance.

  17. LK

    June 16, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Sorry must agree with the other posters. It’s confusing to me why you don’t just unfriend or at least hide her from your social media feeds. And you are saying outright that you basically only know her through social media, which really means you don’t know her at all. It is totally possible and OK to like a human being in real life and find the social media version of them insufferable. Do yourself a favor and just don’t look at it. As others have said, try getting to know her in real life, then make an assessment.

  18. Richard 'n Erin Whitfield

    June 16, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    Unfollow her. Plain and simple. That way, through her facebook it says that you are still friends, but you never have to see anything she posts.

  19. Melissa

    June 16, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    I get what you’re saying Anonymous Mom. FB is where people go to pat themselves on the back, humblebrag style or otherwise. It’s totally annoying. Be thankful she doesn’t have a personal blog (she doesn’t have a blog, does she?), because it could be so much worse. My opinion of several family members and friends has been downgraded by the narcissism of their social media personae. It’s human nature to form an opinion (yes, even hate, other commenters) based on what is presented to you the most often. And if the most interaction that you have with her is via FB, then so be it. I dare say that most people come across as hate-able on FB. Status updates are basically diarrhea of the mouth – I think people forget that everyone else can see it sometimes. What should be a private inner monologue is put totally on display. Yeah, I totally get the hate.

  20. sweetgotham

    June 16, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    I clicked on this all excited to nod my head off in agreement since I *hate* my brother in law (and is soon to be ex-wife). Whereas my BIL is a deadbeat, mutually domestically violent ass (he chokes her, she stabs him, but, hey, they seem to never hit the kids), who may have done bath salts and once claimed the ‘purple people’ were after him as well as the black Klan members (he spay painted Jewish symbols on his parents’ sidewalk as a deterrent). There was that time he had his dad arrested in his own home so he couldn’t stay there while he was there. Fun times. The kind of guy who has his parents raise his kid on the weekends so he can get a break…from not working…Not to mention my husband admitted to me he joined the Army in ’03 pretty much guaranteeing a one-way trip to a war zone to get away from the dysfunction. I could go on. Meanwhile, your SIL…um…deals with insecurity in a way you feel judegy about due what is clearly your own insecure reaction to it? Trade?

  21. Em

    June 16, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    Um, UNFRIEND. It’s that simple. Really. Hide her posts if you’re too chicken for the unfriending.

    • CMP414

      June 16, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      Unfriending may cause some family drama because SIL is bound to notice and will most likely mention it to the brother and all a whole lot of nonsense may ensue. I definitely am advocating for “hiding” her. I’ve been “hiding” people alot recently and it has made a much more pleasant FB experience 😉

  22. momjones

    June 16, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    I just asked my oldest daughter if she is going crazy because of her best friend from high school’s constant whining updates. She was in her wedding; she is godmother of one of her children. My daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, I blocked her status updates, just like I blank out whenever I talk to her and she complains.”

  23. CMP414

    June 16, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    This reminds me of a girl I know from school who truly is a nice person but is annoying as fuck on FB. She makes her life seem perfect and actually goes as far as to say it is perfect ( in all caps, natch) She spends $ like crazy and totally brags about everything. When I find her super annoying I hide her but honestly her fake posts crack me up. Everyone can probably see through all her nonsense and she isn’t hurting anyone so who cares.

  24. Ro

    June 16, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    You can hide her from your newsfeed. That way you avoid the potential drama of unfriending her, but you don’t have to see her crap all the time. Just go to the little arrow tab on the right side of one of her posts and choose to unfollow her.

  25. Frances "Librle" Locke

    June 16, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Well, there’s always the hide button. Why are you letting this person stress you out so much? Like my step mom always says, they certainly aren’t losing any sleep over you.

  26. Elizabeth Licata

    June 16, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Here is how to unfollow someone on Facebook. It will keep the person on your Friends list, but you will not get their updates on your newsfeed. (Unfollowing can also be done from the page where you look at and manage all your friends.)

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2013/12/03/how-to-unfollow-someyet-yet-still-be-facebook-friends/

    Other than that, I would say you have no options other than to butt out. There’s really no way to respond or correct someone whom you hate passionately based on the fact that you think they use Facebook wrong.

  27. Ursi

    June 16, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    I’m going to slightly differ from the consensus here. She sounds like a clueless moron. A well-meaning moron perhaps but that kind of person on Facebook where everything she posts makes your eyes roll back in your head.

    However, I do agree with everyone else that this isn’t worth your hatred. DO block her, everyone here has the right idea. I block people all the time on twitter, for example. People block me all the time on twitter. No hard feelings. Who cares?

    A have a family member that I knew on Facebook who would post all kinds of things about their kid that I found aggravating. It was always, “Little so-and-so is always saying her prayers, loves Jesus, said the most brilliant and insightful thing about God.” I’m a Christian too, I get it. But your kid is 4. She talks about Jesus incessantly because she knows it makes you happy. She’s not even old enough to understand beyond the basics of our faith and you’re acting like she’s some golden child speaking the word of God. Now that probably sounds petty of me and it probably is. But I just ignore her updates because she’s a good person and I wouldn’t want my eye-rolling at her status updates to affect my opinion of her. After all, I could post a million things that would make her say, “OMG, Ursi has her head on backwards, that woman is a mess.”

    There is definitely something in YOUR life you are doing right now that your SIL would shake her head at if you posted it on FB. So keep perspective, block her status updates, and spend time with her in real life where no one can be the ridiculous glammed-up version of themselves they pretend to be.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      Semi-OT, but your family member reminded me that my best friend and I have a mutual “friend” on Facebook whom we keep on our feed solely because some of her posts are so mind-bogglingly stupid that we can’t help but trashing her like a couple of snarky teenagers when we come across one. She’s a fundamentalist Christian who frequently posts updates like, “Hubby has the sniffles. Please pray he’ll get better.” Even though I’m an atheist and my BFF has a vague belief in a higher power that doesn’t fit with any major religion, we still think that there are some cases which merit divine intervention–hunger, poverty, the ongoing tide of mass shootings–and that a short-lasting virus isn’t one of them.

    • Meg

      June 16, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      I sort of get what you are saying. I have a friend who prays and then thanks Jesus for good parking spots at Walmart. I always found it to be a bit trivial to be asking The Lord not to walk an extra few yards into a store.

    • Ursi

      June 16, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      that is weirdly trivial

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Exactly. I know God is supposed to be omniscient and omnipotent and all, but…really? Aren’t there better things you, as a non-omniscient and -omnipotent human (and obviously, this is the general “you” more directed at my “friend”, not you specifically!), could be using your Facebook feed to ask for help and support from your community/a higher power for?

    • Ursi

      June 16, 2014 at 4:25 pm

      I have prayed for minor ailments by request, though I understand where you’re coming from. I tend to take those as more of a reflexive response, pray for health on a daily basis. Some of the stuff my fundie family posts is off the wall. I’ve never asked anyone to pray for me when I had a cold, I agree that’s kind of weird.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      June 16, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      General prayers for health make sense. I’m just puzzled by her constant requests for intervention in matters like tummy aches or stuffy noses, to quote a couple I’ve seen, when those specific ailments could be remedied by a trip to Wagreens or CVS or whatever the local drugstore is. Granted, my grasp on Christian theology where it doesn’t overlap with Judaism is a bit fuzzy, but isn’t there something about God helping those who help themselves?

    • Rachel Sea

      June 17, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      So it’s raining really hard. There’s a guy living beside a river and it starts to flood. The sheriff’s deputies come by and tell him he should leave before the river cuts off the road.

      “The Lord will save me,” he tells them.

      The river is up to the front porch and the some folks come by in a boat and tell him to hop in and they’ll take him to safety.

      “The Lord will save me,” he tells them.

      The water rises above the first floor and the man has to climb on his roof. The National Guard comes by in a boat and begs the man to come with them.

      “The Lord will save me,” he tells them.

      The waters keep rising and the man is clinging to his chimney. A helicopter appears and lowers a rope, but he refuses to go, telling them “The Lord will save me.”

      Finally he is standing on top of the chimney and the river is still rising.

      “Lord,” he calls out, “Lord, why have you forsaken me?”

      The sky splits open and a HUGE voice booms out… “I sent two boats and a helicopter… What more do you want?”

  28. Véronique Houde

    June 16, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Geez… This blog post sounded more like a personal venting email you might have sent to a friend than something that most people would be interested in reading. I couldn’t help but read it and wonder why in the world you were sharing this with us? It really doesn’t sound very harmful and at best it speaks more of your own emotions than her issues.

    Most people don’t realize how they sound on Facebook. Facebook is meant to for you to flaunt yourself at your best and it’s a really hard balance to not make yourself look like a narcissist bitch. But remember that most people who post incessantly about themselves are just trying to prove themselves to their friends and family. Your SIL is probably just trying to get people to see how hard she’s trying. I’d say to just erase her from your wall.

  29. aCongaLine

    June 16, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Just to play the Devil’s Advocate here…. Ever wonder if she has picked up on the fact that you don’t like her, and is trying to show you, via Facebook, that she’s a good mom, to win a level of acceptance/approval from you?

    I have a harmless, albiet obnoxious-on-FB SIL. I put her on my “aquaintences” list, so she can’t see anything I don’t want her to (she comments on EVERYTHING and it’s annoying) and I also have her on limited profile. This ensures that my newsfeed is free of her I’m-a-mommy-martyr-look-at-how-selfless-I-am bullshit.

    Privacy settings are AWESOME. Good luck!

  30. wisegal

    June 16, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Just hide her notifications and check in every now and again when you feel up to it. This way, you can still get messages from her royal highness, but you can see the rest of it on your terms.

  31. Spitting_mad

    June 16, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    You hide her posts. If I could see every conservative vomit-post my hsuband’s aunt put up I’d hate her guts. I hid her political religious agenda shit, and now the only contact we have is swapping stuffing recipes during the holidays. Her cooking is the bomb-diggity, and as long as that’s all I know, we get along famously.

  32. Clever name

    June 16, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    I was all ready to nod in agreement as I read the article, because I too have a SIL whom I extremely dislike (hate is way too strong of a word for the way I feel about her). My husband was the favorite child growing up, so she has a lifelong grudge against him, which she takes out on… me. I won’t get into the particulars of all the annoying, rude, and hurtful things she does, but I will say I have found an easy way to deal with her: minimize contact. Fairly easy to do, since my husband doesn’t like her either.
    What on earth this author is complaining about, I have no idea. As many others have said, this SIL hasn’t really done anything wrong, and I have zero sympathy for the author. Grow up, and be happy that your little brother has found someone to be happy with.

  33. ShanLea

    June 16, 2014 at 5:03 pm

    I think I speak for a lot of us when I say, if annoying Facebook posts are the worst you have to deal with from your sister-in-law, I would like to trade families with you. I could write a post 5 pages long with my SIL issues, and still have more to go with. Maybe a book? Block her and move on.

  34. SuSu

    June 16, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    I would unfriendly her. Her narcissistic self won’t even notice. I’m older and calmer now, so I know how aggravating this CAN be, but I have also learned to cut that kind of crap out of my consciousness. You can’t change her, and as far as you know, your brother is happy, so just change the way you deal with her.

  35. 2Well

    June 16, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Are you sure you aren’t confusing trivial annoyance and hate?

  36. CRod

    June 16, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    I personally got off social media about a year and a half ago. Before then I was addicted to it. I didn’t post much, but I was constantly checking to see what others posted about. Social media made me hate people, too. People that I liked in real life. I got off social media and never looked back. Its fabulous. I highly recommend it for a drama free, more personal time, kinda life.

  37. Gangle

    June 16, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    Really, you need to just let go. My older brothers wife can be a bit full on too, and loves to post her mummy achievements all over social media, loves spending up on their extravagant lifestyle (much, much more than they can possibly afford), and is strongly (and loudly) opinionated and bossy. If I was my brother, I wouldn’t be able to stand living with her. But I am not my brother. He loves her, is devoted to her and obviously must be happy with the way things are or I guess things would be different. While I do worry about them sustaining their lifestyle without falling into crippling debt, it isn’t my place to comment or question, and truthfully the money situation is just as much my brothers responsibility as hers. At the end of the day, my brother loves her, she loves him and they are happy. She really does mean well, and is a good mother and devoted to my brother, even if our personalities clash sometimes. If she gets to be too much on social media I just hide her posts for awhile.

  38. jess

    June 16, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    I was expecting to read a whole post about how your sister in law is a druggie and neglects her kids. Or spends all your parents money. But all I got was a slightly annoying Facebook insane woman.

    I have friends who are Facebook mad, so I hide them from my newsfeed. They’re actually still really lovely people, so I still try to catch up with them when I get the chance.

    By your own admission you don’t know her that well- so perhaps try to get to know her a little better- and then you can make your own judgement.

    Seriously- you “Hate (your) Sister In Law Passionately” based on her FACEBOOK posts probably says more about you than it does about it.

  39. Katherine Handcock

    June 16, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    While a lot of this sounds pretty trivial, I think I see the hints of the real problems beneath the seemingly banal stuff. Here’s where I spotted it: “There are professional photo shoots for everything ( an expense I know my brother can’t afford).” I think Anonymous Mom feels like her brother’s child is being used as a prop in this “perfect” life which her brother is expected to manage to afford, somehow. The crafting, workouts, all the image stuff – those are all things that take time and money. The homesteading and home cooking could be money savers, unless it’s time and money being thrown away following the latest “I’m super-Mom” trend that will be forgotten before it pays off.

    It can be hard, even in Anonymous mode, to really voice your feelings. I think this mom may have opted to frame everything in terms of the Facebook posts because, even in an anonymous forum, it’s hard for her to talk about. That’s a lot of reading between the lines, granted, but I see the hints.

    • Gangle

      June 16, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      I get this to an extent. My SiL is a crazy spend-thrift, everything from the kids extra-curricular activities (no regular violin teacher for her 9 year old – no, ‘basic violin’ – only the most exclusive and best.. same with all of the other activities), birthday extravaganzas, clothes etc etc. But then the way I see it, my brother is just as responsible for that happening as she is. He can barely afford this lifestyle, but it is the lifestyle they both chose. Same with all the other crap she goes on with. I couldn’t stand being married to her, but then, I don’t have to. My brother does. And he seems to be happy there, so who am I to judge.

  40. koolchicken

    June 16, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Seriously? It seems like you don’t even know the woman. So for all you know she’s just a nervous first time mother trying desperately to make it look like she can do it all. For all you know she’s totally intimidated by you. Your brother could be home all day telling her what a great mother you are and she’s just trying to stack up, or even seem better.

    If you get to know her and really can’t stand her, just unfollow her. Do not confront this woman or criticize her unless you know she’s a jerk. Facebook is a perfect snapshot of our lives and what’s on there may or may not reflect who you really are. For example I went to a winery with my friend last week. She posted and tagged a photo of me during a wine tasting. It was very tame but as there are so few photos of me out there those who see it may assume I drink. But that sip of wine was the first I’d had in about five years as I generally don’t imbibe. So don’t just assume things about her based on some photos and comments that are designed to make her look like mother of the year who’s doing and having it all.

  41. Myra A Cottrill

    June 16, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Sure, the dear SIL (sort of) might be annoying on FB, but she sounds like 98% of face bookers. From the vitriol coming off this article, I imagine that this might be a little overblown. What does the author know about their finances or resources anyway? And also, author comes off as really jealous and/or judgmental. Hate is a pretty strong word, even if SIL is pretty damned annoying.

    Seriously. Hide that stuff from your feed, and presto… Problem solved.

  42. Honest Mama

    June 16, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    I can’t stand my SIL either, so I just keep my interactions with her cordial and minimal. Thankfully, she lives in another state and I see her maybe 4 times a year. We are FB friends, but I skim/skip most of her posts since they concern her how much she loves Jesus or what a great mom she is and her actions IRL speak otherwise. But, it’s not a problem for me because I don’t LET it be a problem. Honestly, I have bigger fish to fry and better ways to spend my time. Unless this person is in your face every single day or affecting your life in some tangible, unavoidable way, LET IT GO. Find a hobby, find some IRL friends, get the heck OFF social media. Voila! Problem solved!

  43. CW

    June 16, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    I don’t hate my SIL, but her Bridezilla, Preggozilla (she got pregnant on her honeymoon, and given the way she drank at the reception, I do believe she did actually conceive afterwards), and then New Momzilla phases put a major strain on our relationship. DH had warned me that his sister was a princess but when I met her she seemed perfectly down-to-Earth so I chalked it up to sibling rivalry. Well, it turns out that the princess was just in hibernation because she woke with a vengeance the moment SIL got engaged. She’s finally now mostly back to her previous sweet self but she hasn’t fully lost the entitlement attitude.

  44. brebay

    June 16, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    I’d start by hiding her posts so they don’t infuriate you. Might be easier to forget she’s such a snot without the constant reminders, and you don’t have to un-friend her. If your brother ever has the baby alone while she’s at work, try to arrange to visit then. And maybe play up to her ego for an auntie’s day out. “Oh, you do so, so, much, if anyone deserves an afternoon off, it’s you!”

  45. whiteroses

    June 16, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    This is going to sound harsh, but I honestly can’t find a way to temper it.

    However much money your brother makes, AM, is none of your business. And how they spend it is especially not your business. You may feel like you’re his mother, but you’re not. Unless you’re in charge of their money in some way, what they do with it is on them. She’s allowed to post what she wants on her own Facebook, whether you approve of it or not. You don’t have to like her, or even tolerate her. If you want a relationship with your brother, though, you are going to have to learn to deal with the fact of her. Having a kid is more permanent, in a lot of ways, than marriage. Even if they got divorced tomorrow, your brother would have to deal with her for the rest of his life because of their child.

    The fact is, though, he’s happy or he wouldn’t stay. And your happiness with this situation frankly matters not at all. Deal with it or don’t, but it’s on you how and if you choose to proceed. Unless you’re leaving something out, I would guess that your “hatred” towards your SIL would be completely shocking to her. You barely know this woman, and I suspect that on some level you know you’re being irrational, which is why you’re so vehement about it.

    I have an SIL who’s been pissed at me for two years. As a result, she doesn’t know her nephew- not because she doesn’t have the opportunity (and believe me, I’ve given her plenty), but because she dislikes me and doesn’t want to deal with me. I have absolutely no idea why. She has never met my son, and has never acknowledged his existence past a present she sent when he was born. My son has plenty of people in his life who love him and he’s not going to miss out if she’s never part of it. I feel sorry for her, but in the grand scheme of things it’s a choice she made-one that is neither my fault nor my problem.

  46. educationist

    June 17, 2014 at 12:40 am

    I can’t stand my SIL either, for similar reasons: chronic over-poster on social media, lots of staged life moments, spending well outside their income level while not worrying… all annoyances that could be dealt with if she wasn’t one of the first people I’ve ever met and a fairly poor example of a mother to my neice.

  47. Courtney Lynn

    June 17, 2014 at 1:47 am

    I’m glad it’s not just me that’s going, “huh?”. So she posts about her life? What’s wrong with that? I sometimes make about 5-6 posts a day. Not every day, but it certainly doesn’t mean my kids are neglected. It’s at different times of the day and hey, they nap, too. Do you know her in real life? Maybe I’m missing something, but if you’re basing it on social media, that’s really not a good gauge of a person. It’s really, really not. I’m very introverted and kind but my FB might paint me as more outspoken and brash, not who I am at all. And you said she doesn’t often post about her kids, but so many people say they’re sick of people posting their kids (guilty party, here). Damned if you don’t, damned if you do.

    • Mary 729

      June 17, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      Why on earth would you post 5-6 times a day? Do you think anyone actually cares about your life that much?

    • Michelle Pittman

      June 17, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      who cares — it’s HER fb — she can post as much or as little as she wants — no need to be snarky

    • Courtney Lynn

      June 17, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Are you on my friend’s list? Don’t worry about it! Rude.

    • Guest

      June 17, 2014 at 3:02 pm

      Are you on my friend’s list? Don’t worry about it. Rude, much?

  48. Guest

    June 17, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Block her or unfriend. I have unfriended two SILs now as one was posting graphic and terrible news stories on the regular. I unfriended her also because she assaulted my MIL and tried to run her down with her car. She also neglected my nephew while spoiling her own two daughters. She was upset about it but there was nothing she could do and now they’re going through an ugly ugly divorce. My other SIL is my husbands actual sister and she got upset with both of us giving her shit fr constantly posting photos with as much cleavage as humanly possible. So she blocked us and I blocked her right back because as much as I love checking her page for the most recent garbage I know she is a fake and toxic person that I really don’t want to be associated with.

  49. Guest

    June 17, 2014 at 9:38 am

    Don’t waste any of your energy on her. Just be polite when you see her and block her from your media. She’s just different. It’s ok. Different is the spice of life. Not everyone has to be super classy, some people love to show off. She has a new baby.. this may be her outlet for stress. Her friends may really love and support her. Just don’t engage, because it’s really not your cup of tea and be polite… because that is the right thing to do.

  50. Tis2

    June 17, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Hide her feed. This easy peasy action has changed my life. Lame but true.

  51. simoneutecht

    June 17, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Well I really hate my SIL because after meeting me once before the wedding and then coming to the wedding, decided to make up outlandish lies about me and still stands by it. She said I said that I am better than my husbands family, one. And two, that I sent back presents to her because they weren’t expensive enough, but the kicker is that she never sent any presents for our daughter AT ALL! Now that is one hateful bitch. I told my husband that’s his sister and he can do whatever he wants as far as she is concerned but I will never talk to her and she is never allowed around our kids.

  52. KatDuck

    June 18, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    The only time my SIL’s posts were visible to me was in that slim sliver of time between accepting her friend request and blocking her. This is why I’m able to be cordial with her outside FB. If she ever asks if I’ve seen her post (hasn’t happened yet) then I can just act confused and say that FB, for whatever reason, didn’t put that on my wall and, you know, it did that with me and another friend and … a general rant on the vagaries of FB’s algorithms later and she’s totally forgotten about it.

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