Image: iStock / viiwee
Life as a newborn, if we're honest, probably sucks sometimes. You can't scratch your itches or tell anyone what it is you need. You probably have your days and nights confused, at least at first. However, one thing makes it all worth it. Milk. And getting milk drunk. It's the single source of nourishment for most newborns, and they love it.
Statistically, most babies of today are drinking breast milk. This is great since breast milk is a cocktail of melatonin, endorphins, and leptin. These hormones help baby regulate weight, gut bacteria, and feelings of connection to mama. So go on, little one. Get milk drunk. Just like these cuties-
Image: Instagram / @that_rachel_girl95
Look at this cutie! She's all smiles, and why shouldn't she be? Doctors actually say that babies don't start socially smiling until the eight month marker, but this little one doesn't look anywhere near that. What she's doing is something called 'neonatal smiling,' and it mostly happens when a baby is beginning to drowse. Well, having a contentedly full belly sure makes us feel like a nap! In fact, according to this article, this kind of smiling decreases as babies learn to smile as a means of communication. Premature babies smile more than term ones. Furthermore, according to said article, baby smiles have nothing to do with tummy bubbles or gas.
Image: Instagram / @lmariephotography
This little one's name is Kasen. Even though he's hiding it, we can't help but think that sweet, round belly has everything to do with frequent bouts of milk drunkenness. Kasen may still be at the age where cluster feeding is pretty common. This is the habit of some young babies to feed every hour, like four times in four hours, and then sleep for a while. While the sleep is nice, we sure how that if Mom is breastfeeding she has an ice pack on hand! How many times have healthy, well fed babies equated to Mom's cracked, chafed nipples? Even celebs deal with this. As Halle Barry said, "When I would put Nahla on the boob, she would [have] a nice little girly suck. Him ... he’s like sucking the life out of me!”
Image: Instagram / @prestonjace
There's only one thing to say about this. Stahpit! This little man is too cute for his own good. Maybe it's the tipped bottle. Could be the matching puffy jacket and sweater. Definitely helping is the fact that he's so expertly clutching the wheel of a BMW. This guy's got all the swag and none of the eyes half open sleepiness. He's clearly in the early stages of his binge, you know, the stage when pics still look good. It's not all fun and games for long! One or two bottles in and we imagine he'll be as messy as we are after a night on the town.
Image: Instagram / @nicki0629
This baby reminds us so much of Rodin's The Thinker. Well, it would if the thinker was happy as could be, donning a somehow pristine white onesie, and smiling like the cat that got the cream. Honestly, that'd make a much less angsty statue. There's only one thing that can create a work of art this sweet though, and that's a belly full of milk. Rodin does have a statue entitled I am Beautiful, which would make a great hashtag here. However, the actual statue is nowhere near this adorable. Adults, whether cast in plaster or in the flesh, just can't manage to look this irresistibly lovable.
Image: Instagram / @bb_ling_ling
What's the first thing you notice about the image above? Is it the emptied bottle or the super charming sleeper? Nope, it's the hair! This pic is all about that thick headful of hair that makes it look like baby was shocked (shocked!) to be so happily full. Okay, and maybe it's a little bit about the rosy cheeks too. We're suckers for babies that have apple cheeks. There's only one way to get those at this age, though, and it's countless helpings of milk. Whether it's from the tap or bottle, it seems like this one has no complaints about her diet.
Image: Instagram / @iluvnicah
Seriously, we can't stop smiling at this one. If this kiddo could talk, the words would be, "I see you," but in the happiest, most slurred drunken speech you can imagine. Why can't babies be this pleased and chill all the time? Oh yes, now we remember. Because then everyone, everywhere would want to have one right now. While that'd be great for countries like Japan, China, and Portugal, which are facing steep population decline, the rest of us would be smothered in too cute babies. Is that really so bad, though? We could imagine worse ways to spend our days.
Image: Instagram / @babytvisrael
Getting milk drunk (or any other kind, really) is way more exciting if you do it with a buddy. These two seem to know that. Look at the way they even appear to be holding hands. If these two are fed from Mom, she's certainly not alone. Statistics say that tandem breastfeeding is on the rise as breastfeeding itself becomes more socially accepted. This article gives tips about tandem nursing including who should eat first and the best positions so that mama's chest doesn't feel...stretched (bras are supposed to lift and separate, babies really aren't). The article goes on to say that women who choose this feeding method tend to get a lot of flack, sometimes even from hospitals! We salute you, milk makers! Do your thing!
Image: Instagram / @__promil_sehat__
Here's another two for one. One kiddo has a pillow, the other just as a sibling to relax on. Either way, it doesn't seem to be bothering these peaceful sleepers. We bet whoever was shopping with them breathed a sigh of relief when they both passed out. Versus taking turns screaming through the store, happy and milk drunk is so much more preferable. We just wish we knew the method that brought about this effect. Did they get fed in the car before going inside? Is Mom's milk just extra potent and producing these lingering effects? Tell us your secrets so that our grocery trips can be this drama free!
Image: Instagram / @land4baby
Okay, okay, we admit this one might not fit the qualifier of 'happy.' However, we just see a kiddo trying way hard to keep his eyes open because he's that milk drunk. Do you want a camera in your face when you're trying to sleep off a buzz? No way. We feel this kiddo's struggle. His expression says, "Really Mom, we have to do this now?!" It might just be a guess, but it looks to us as if this little prince would rather be snoozing his full tummy away than posing. They say that seven months is an age where personality really starts to develop and shine through. This little man wants to do his shining...later.
Image: Instagram / @meandmythree_x
This little guy's mama went on to explain that he's sleeping, not in his crib, but on his changing mat. Hey, when you're milk drunk and satisfied, a good nap can happen anywhere. His mother also said the multicolored pad was a, "rainbow changing mat for our rainbow baby." We can't stress enough how wonderful it is to see moms celebrating their rainbow babies after walking extremely hard roads.
Those full cheeks and peaceful smile say that this baby has no worries while he sleeps off the last meal and probably dreams about the next one coming. If only we could survive in a constant pattern of being hungry, getting what we were craving, and then sleeping until the next treat!
Image: iStock / geargodz
The desire to get milk drunk can strike any time, day or night. So, yes, while milk drunk babies are decidedly cute, mamas who are in charge of feeding them at all hours might not feel that way. While it may not fix the cause of the eye bags, this Mommyish article gives tips on the best way to cover them. Hey, it might not be a perfect solution but, until that baby is sleep trained and maybe even being introduced to solids, a quick fix is better than nothing. One recent study has found that new parents, moms especially, only average four hours and some change of sleep a night. Bring on the makeup and coffee!
The mama of this peanut said that she crawls into her blow up train ball pit to fall asleep. How is that not the cutest thing you've heard today? The cause of her sleepiness is right there too, clutched in her hand. This baby is a smarty. After all, she has a comfy, confined place to nap, food in hand, and when she wakes up there'll be toys right there to play with. The only thing that would make this better is if it were a video. Then we could see the slow progression from sitting up falling asleep to sliding down the side of the ball pit to a fully horizontal position. It doesn't look like it'll take her too long to achieve it.
Image: Instagram / @new.mama.life
Ahh, to be this content. Yet feeding, especially breastfeeding, is designed by nature to produce this result. During the day, the chemical composition of breast milk changes so that, at night, breast milk is actually a sleepy making cocktail. Think of it as a perfectly socially acceptable version of a baby whiskey sour. It can help a fussy baby relax back to sleep, and of course the full belly feeling is comforting, too. While some moms are concerned about babies falling asleep at the breast and thus being unable to soothe themselves to sleep later, many nurses and doctors advise that, especially in babies this new, it's really no big deal.
Image: Facebook/Amanda DeNyse
Know what's the best about this picture? It's not the adorable rolly polly legs or the heart onesie. It's the baby hand on the belly. This sweetie's telling us exactly what's made her so pleased. Her bottle is propped to her right hand side, another signal that being milk drunk is the cause of her condition. Note to self: if she can do it, you can too. Doesn't napping outside in the sunshine and breeze sound heavenly right now? Do you think that cool egg shaped chair comes in adult sizes, too? After a quick Amazon check the answer is yes, yes it does.
Image: iStock / Kritchanut
Some people are messier drinkers than others. And, hey, it's true that no one might want to smell you after you've been spritzed with overflow milk a couple times. This baby doesn't seem to mind her sleep session, not one bit. Is it because she got thoroughly milk drunk beforehand or because she's expecting to do so afterward? Either way, a warm bath and a full belly could make us smile and relax like this babe (although, you know, less cutely since we have more teeth). Did you know another name for baby teeth is deciduous teeth, essentially milk teeth in humans? Yet, when those chompers start to come in it may not feel like they were designed for milk to Mom.
Look. At. That. Grin. Sometimes the world is just hilarious, and two things make it easier to see the funny side of life. One is Dad. The other is a full belly of milk. So why does being drunk make us more likely to laugh? It triggers the release of endorphins in our brains, which are essentially our self-made happy drug. Believe it or not, breast milk and the act of supplying it to baby does the same in baby's and a lactating mama's brain. So, though babies don't get inebriated while eating, they are able to feel calmer, happier, and comforted. That sounds like the best drink out there!