I’d Side With Gwyneth Paltrow’s Commando Style Over Kim Kardashian’s Prego Black Lace Thong Any Day

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shutterstock_131776859It’s time for a game of “would you rather?” brought to you by the recent fashion choices of our favorite mom to hate Gwyneth Paltrow and mom-to-be to hate on, Kim Kardashian.

Would you rather go commando in a full-length fancy dress after having two kids or wear a black lace thong while pregnant?

I’d choose going commando over pregnant thong wearing any day even if it means siding with Gwyneth “Not-As-Down-To-Earth-As-Corset-Wearing-Jessica-Alba” Paltrow.

People love to hate on Gwyneth Paltrow. I get it. Just this week Star voted her the most hated celebrity while People named her the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. I’d argue that neither is completely accurate, but she sells magazines so who really cares?

The GOOPster recently raised eyebrows at the premiere of Iron Man 3 wearing an Antonio Berardi (that’s Italian for side-butt showing) gown that featured sheer black paneling down each side fueling speculation that she wasn’t wearing any underwear under there.

But we really should have seen this coming after her “I’ve got a pretty decent ass” humble-brag, where “a friend” compared her to a stripper.

Chris Martin‘s wife and mother of Apple, 8, and Moses, 6, recently bragged about a compliment she received from a friend on her impressive booty — honed in part by the Tracy Anderson Method. “I said, ‘You know, this isn’t so bad for 40, right?'” Paltrow recalled to reporters on April 4. “And [my friend] goes, ‘It’s not so bad for a 22-year-old stripper!’

Of course she’s talking about the really fancy strippers who probably get vajacials and bleach, not the ones the DudeBros of the world attend.

Showing off her lack of underwear was at least part of the plan, unlike the slew of celebrities flashing their privates unintentionally. I don’t think I’d have the nerve to pull it off, but if the alternative was a thong while I was pregnant, I’d really have no choice.

Kim Kardashian’s “I can get my skivvies in the tabloids too” retaliation has me reeling.

The 32-year-old reality star, pregnant with their first child, wore a super-short, see-through dress during the couple’s outing in the Big Apple. The mom-to-be’s LBD featured sheer paneling that gave a big glimpse of her undergarments.

While climbing stairs, Kardashian held down the back of her dress for modesty, but ended up giving a clear view of her underwear to West, who was following behind. She paired the babydoll dress with studded, black high-heel boots.

And a thong. A black lace thong. Really? I’m not even debating whether it is appropriate to wear a thong when you are pregnant, I’m just saying why would you? It is hard enough to get comfortable during pregnancy, with all the changes your body goes through and the awesome-but-completely-strange feeling of having the baby kicking and knowing there’s a human being growing inside of you. Adding some butt-floss would have just sent me over the edge.

As soon as I threw on my first pair of elastic waistband jeans I went directly to Macy’s and bought myself the cutest underwear I could find in a size two bigger than my normal. All cotton. All full-coverage. I would never have considered buying myself a thong. Or wearing one of my old ones? Even worse! I just can’t comprehend a black lace thong while pregnant. For comfort’s sake woman, go out and get yourself some cute and fashionable maternity wear and stop pretending like you aren’t actually pregnant and nothing about you has changed in the slightest.

In celebrity underwear wars, I’m with Gwyneth Paltrow sheer dress style choice to go commando over Kim Kardashian’s underwear selection of a black lace thong while pregnant. But really ladies, what’s wrong with a nice brightly colored cotton pair — kept under your clothes hidden from the general public’s scrutiny?

(photo: Africa Studio/Shutterstock)


  1. HS

    April 26, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Her junk has got to be blazing at this point. Yeast infection, vag bac infection, something! You can only wear cootie cutters for so long while pregnant before all the weird discharges and hormones start interacting with one another. Especially when she’s wearing skintight clothes that don’t allow her body to breath. I’m not hating on Kim, it took me awhile to accept wearing maternity clothes as well but she’s reached a point physically where she should just be comfortable. I really wish she would take pointers from Kourtney. She always knew how to dress her pregnant body.

    • Carinn Jade

      April 26, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      Exactly! I really wish she would follow in Kourtney’s footsteps a little more all around…

    • Kat

      May 2, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      I wore maternity thongs for my entire pregnancy…and never had any issues. I didn’t wear tight pants or anything, but I just wasn’t comfy in anything but a thong at that point.

  2. Lori B.

    April 26, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Being 40+weeks pregnant at this point, I can’t imagine wearing anything short of a diaper with all that is going on in my nether regions! I would choose commando when not pregnant over a thong while pregnant… or maybe just in general!

    • Carinn Jade

      April 26, 2013 at 2:02 pm

      hahaha – yes! Thank you.

  3. Nagehan

    April 26, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    This is the stupidest post ever. Proofread your work before posting it…”whether it is appropriate to *where* a thong when you are pregnant, I’m just saying why would you?”

    …and we should respect your opinion on what pregnant women (like myself) should do to feel more comfortable? Please…

    • Sarah Palin

      April 26, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      Nagehan? Is that a real name? Sounds like pregnancy is taking its toll. Could you be a little bitchier??? Hope you give you kid a better name than yours…

    • nagehan

      April 26, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      It is a real name. Beats your name that’s for sure.

    • nagehan

      April 26, 2013 at 5:17 pm

      It is a real name and this is my face. Visit me.

    • Carinn Jade

      April 26, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      The post has been updated to revise the homophone. Thanks for reading.

  4. Blooming_babies

    April 26, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    I never found regular underwear to be more comfortable than a thong, but I’m pretty sure it’s a body type issue. Gwyneth, tiny ass I bet underwear fit fine… KK on the other hand, big butt equals big panties in your butt crack.

  5. Justme

    April 26, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    I gave up thongs after I was done trying to get laid at bars.

    • Carinn Jade

      April 27, 2013 at 10:41 am

      ha! this made me laugh so hard.

  6. outlaw mama

    April 29, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Oh good lord, what in the hezzell are these women thinking. I am with GOOP though. And my ass is awesome too.

  7. Kat

    May 2, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Meh, I’m one of the few, I guess. Before I was pregnant, I went commando all the time. When I got pregnant, I had to start wearing underwear, and went with the maternity thongs. I wore those up delivery. 4 weeks after delivery, I was back to wearing thongs and continued wearing them through my second pregnancy as well. To me, they are way more comfy than any underwear. Even now, I can only wear certain non-thong underwear because I can’t stand the way it feels.

  8. Pingback: Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals 'Perfect Job' For Moms And How She Does It All

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