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Gwyneth Paltrow Has Landed The ‘Perfect Job’ For Mothers And Offers Other Solutions To Fantasy Problems

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shutterstock_100225043I love Gwyneth Paltrow. Even when I hate her, I love her, because in her moments of complete self-absorbed celebrity, she’s entertaining me. It’s like going to see Iron Man 3 without spending the $50 at the local AMC Theater.  Today she’s taking a GOOP break to give us the insights into how on Earth she “does it all.”

For starters, it’s all about the work you apply for and Gwynnie is gushing about her new role as brand ambassador for Hugo Jour Pour Femme, Hugo Boss’ new fragrance. The mom to Apple and Moses tells Us Weekly how grateful she is for this new job.

“I have had a really good experience working for Boss, and I always say this, but it really is such a perfect job when you have kids,” she said.

She always says this, people. So why haven’t you been out there vying for the brand ambassador position? Were you too busy making a living? Taking care of your nanny-less children? For shame, you really missed out.

In case you weren’t sure how the $2 million dollar paycheck will help her family, she goes on about the struggle to find balance that requires her to turn down acting jobs.

“I can only really do one film a year now because of my family and how it all works out, so it’s so nice for me to be able to work for a great company and, you know, I’m going to Spain next week for two days so I still get to travel and meet really interesting people and have a work interaction,” the actress, 40, explained of her spokesmodel job, which E! reported will earn her $2 million. “But it’s not like I am out of the house for three months.”

Not that she’s complaining! Gwyneth knows how good she has it in her “work interactions.”

Now, I know you are wondering how she does it all – wife, mother, commando-dress wearer, cookbook author, struggling singer – so she’s letting you in on the nitty-gritty. Possibly inspired by the New York Times Motherlode series “How I Do It,” Gwyneth breaks down a typical day in the Paltrow/Martin/Jay-Z BFF household. The Motherlode series asks parents from across state, socio-economic, and professional lines (“from members of Congress to retail clerks”) to break down a typical day with honest detail so we can all peer into the machine’s inner workings. For Paltrow:

“I wake up at 7 a.m., I get [the kids] fed, and I get them dressed in their uniforms, any bits of homework are finished,” Paltrow shared. “[Apple] gets dropped off at 8:25 a.m., and [Moses] gets dropped off at 8:45 a.m., so we have a croissant together in his school dining room and we do reading together. Then I go home and I work for one hour on all the e-mails that come in overnight from L.A. Then I exercise from about 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. Then I work on Goop [the digital media and e-commerce company she founded] pretty much the rest of the day until I pick up my kids and then they have various activities.”

I can’t believe they have croissants in Moses’ school dining room. Sigh. Gwyneth has the perfect life.

(photo: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com)

14 Comments

  1. workingMOM

    May 26, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    oh, i have it WAY BETTER than her…

    i get to work out for more than two hours a day…chasing after my toddler.

    i can totally wear a tight, sexy dress commando because i don’t eat (it seems that every time i try to make something, there’s a yell coming from my kid or the cat who she’s just kicked).

    it’s not like i’m away for three months, either. i have to take care of my kid and there’s nobody around willing to babysit while i jaunt off to Spain for work. hell, there’s no one around willing to babysit while i go to the salon to get my legs waxed so that i don’t look like the neighbourhood sasquatch.

    the private school uniform thing – that’s just silly, i mean, why wouldn’t she want to argue with her daughter 45 minutes EVERY MORNING about what she WANTS to wear and what she’s ACTUALLY wearing to school? boo to private school and their uniforms while the rest of us get to enjoy public school clothing free-for-alls!

    sure, time will probably free up when the baby is in school full time, so maybe i can have ‘people’ who’ll answer the majority of my emails and design and maintain my website for me and create content for it and handle the legalities…

    do i sound bitter, because i’m not. really, i’m not.
    she worked hard to earn her place in Hollywood, and that’s fine. she’s reaping the benefits now, so good for her, but she doesn’t have to be all nonchalant about it with her “snidery”, but then again, how would she know what it’s like for others if she’s never, ever walked a mile (to a shift job), in their Sears shoes?

    carry on, Ms. Paltrow, carry on.

    • Carinn Jade

      May 26, 2013 at 8:36 pm

      hysterical!

  2. Life-Sized Mommy

    May 26, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Ooh, I like this “day in the life” idea!

    6:00 am – Wake up, shower, get me and the kiddo dressed and fed so I can be at job #1 by 7:30.

    4:30 pm – Get off from job #1, have half an hour to get home and hang out with kiddo before job #2. (Lucky for a husband that cooks, or kiddo would have to fend for himself for dinner. Or there’d be a lot of take-out.)

    5:00 pm – Start job #2.

    9:00 pm – End job #2. Come home, change, and chill out for a bit before job #3.

    10:30 pm – Head out for job #3. On a slow night, will get home from this job around midnight. On a busy night, get home after 3:00 am.

    Try to grab a few hours of sleep before having to wake up at 6:00 am again. You’d think sleep would come easily after a 16-hour workday, but being 7-months pregnant makes it difficult.

    • workingMOM

      May 26, 2013 at 9:18 pm

      oh my gosh, i don’t know how you do it, but i admire you and congratulate you on your effort!
      i thought i had it hard building a new company and watching a 15 month-old but you, my friend, deserve an award!
      you’re setting a great example for your kids 🙂

    • Life-Sized Mommy

      May 26, 2013 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks! It’s nice to get a supportive response, instead of the “don’t you miss your babies?” guilt trip.

      As it is, I’m actually trying to save up enough so we could arrange it where I quit my day job (job #1) and stay home with the kiddos during the day. When you start factoring in childcare for more than one kid, it gets hairy (as I’m sure you know).

  3. Eve Vawter

    May 27, 2013 at 6:53 am

    when I read this all I could think of was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaQ1SILaRuM

  4. faifai

    May 27, 2013 at 10:18 am

    I don’t understand why you think she’s putting down every other mother when she says that she herself has a great job. I have a great job too. It makes me happy. There, do you feel like less of a person now?
    Stop mommy-shaming mothers who are doing well just because they say that they are doing well.

    • Carinn Jade

      May 27, 2013 at 2:37 pm

      Shaming? Are you assuming I don’t have a job? Or that I have a job that makes me miserable? I’m not sure who your questions are directed to.

  5. Amber

    May 27, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    I don’t understand what’s wrong with what she said. So, she has the perfect job for having kids… So, that’s a bad thing? She should feel shame or guilt or what? I’m fortunate enough to have a really awesome career that works out perfectly when it comes to having kids. Should I never speak of it? Should I lie to make other people feel better? Should I hang my head in shame because some parents can’t do what I do?

    I guess I just don’t understand the point of this article.

    • Carinn Jade

      May 27, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      I don’t know what your job is but I doubt it is something that less than a handful of people could do — as in being a brand ambassador for a fragrance line. I am a working mom and I too think that my job is the best for someone with children — but freelance writer is far more accessible and common than celebrity. I do enjoy Gwyneth, this was poking fun at her public persona that she offers unrealistic advice.

    • Carinn Jade

      May 27, 2013 at 2:31 pm

      I don’t know what your job is but I doubt it is something that less than a handful of people could do — as in being a brand ambassador for a fragrance line. I am a working mom and I too think that my job is the best for someone with children — but freelance writer is far more accessible and common than celebrity. I do enjoy Gwyneth, this was poking fun at her public persona that she offers unrealistic advice.

  6. outlaw mama

    May 27, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    My kids’ school has stale goldfish in the cafeteria, so who has it all now, Goop? Gah. I hate her.

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