Up until the birth of my first child, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of granny panties. They were ugly! And big! And when I wore my really low-cut jeans, there was like 4 inches of fabric showing over my waistband. But then, I had babies. And things happened down there that will never right themselves. Plus, since I live in sweats and leggings 98% of the time, fashion obviously isn’t my first priority. I want to be comfortable! WE’VE EARNED COMFORT, DAMMIT. So when I read this mom’s ode to granny panties and the women who rock them, my heart fluttered a bit.
It’s just the encouragement a lot of us and our big-ass undies need.
Dear Girl in the Giant Underpants,You are awesome. You’ve pushed your body to the limit- swimming, roller skating,…
Adrian Wood blogs at Tales of an Uneducated Debutante. Her love letter to granny panties is hilarious, but underneath, is really about loving yourself.
The letter is addressed to the “Girl in the Giant Underpants” (it me). She starts out, “You are awesome. You’ve pushed your body to the limit- swimming, roller skating, sports, gymnastics. Never the very best, but you ran hard and you showed up. Life’s a bit different these days, isn’t it? You still run hard, but wonder, who has time to exercise? You show up so many places, forget a few, and you think to yourself- how does she look so good?
Maybe life’s not so different after all.”
There’s always that woman. The one who always looks amazing. Every time I see her I think to myself, howwwwwww does she do it? No panty-lines on Always Put Together, that’s for sure.
Adrian goes on, “You are wonderful and amazing and you rock those giant underpants. I mean, you’ve earned wearing them. It’s not just that you’re over 40. Nope, you’ve given birth three times and number four was a c-section. Your body never has bounced back after that, though honestly, you’ve got bigger fish to fry than a smushy tummy.”
“You are more than that bit of pudge. You are more than those giant underpants.”
I’ve come to embrace my granny panties. But are there things I don’t like about myself? Absolutely. Do I wish I could still rock the tiny undies or even better/worse depending on your hygiene, no undies at all? Yes and yes. But I am not my underwear, and neither is anyone else! I mean, I don’t even OWN a real bra anymore. My body isn’t what it used to be, and that’s because it did the most amazing thing a body can do. Twice! So if the scars on my nethers demand breathable cotton that doesn’t ride up, then goddamn it, that’s what my nethers are going to get.
Adrian closes her post with some inspiring words for women everywhere. “You are enough. You are more than enough. Those giant underpants don’t define you.”
You’re right, Adrian. They don’t define us. But they sure as hell make the hectic lives we lead a little more comfortable. And for that, I will pledge my undying love to granny panties, now and always.
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(Image: Facebook/ Tales of an Uneducated Debutante)