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Childrearing

Gallery: The Worst Places To Trash-Talk Your Ex

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Gallery  The Worst Places To Trash Talk Your Ex arguing1 jpgI have a boyfriend in college who was a complete and total jerk. He was controlling, deceitful and pretty awful for my self-esteem. It was the worst relationship I ever had. I feel pretty comfortable sharing this information with anyone who stumbles on to this website. I’m not saying that he’s still a terrible person. I hope that he grew up, matured and dated someone a little stronger than I was who showed him how to treat a woman respectfully. Wherever he is, I wish him the very best. But, I still don’t feel awful sharing stories about his craziness.

It’s a little different when it comes to sharing stories about my daughter’s father. For extremely obvious reasons, I try to be careful about how I portray him, while still being honest about our struggles. There have been times when I’ve shared stories that aren’t completely flattering. In the course of writing “Splitsville,” a series of posts about parenting after separation or divorce, I’ve put a lot of thought into the what’s appropriate to share and what needs to stay private.

My daughter’s father is not perfect. Neither am I. We had a rocky start to parenthood. It took him a while to adjust to being a dad, and I know that he wouldn’t hesitate to admit that. But he is trying to be the best father that he can be. I know that he truly cares about our little girl, and with each year, he will grow into a more involved and more confident parent. The more active of a role he takes, the better it is for our daughter.

Even if this wasn’t the case (it is, and I consider myself lucky for that), I wouldn’t tell you all. Because while I believe that sharing small anecdotes can help me describe and explain my position on separated parenting, I don’t want posts like “Splitsville” to turn into dad-bashing. I don’t want to insult my daughter’s dad, here or on any other corner of the internet. Even if I never use his name, even if he never reads these articles, it’s simply unfair and inappropriate.

Actually, there are a lot of places where one should not trash-talk their ex. Let’s take a look at where we need to zip our lips. Leave a comment if I’ve missed anything.

[ITPGallery]

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