Fox News Blurred Out The Breasts On A Picasso Because Think Of The Children
It’s a good thing the people at Fox are out there thinking of the children, because otherwise some of our innocent babies might see the nipples on a blue lady in a Picasso painting and get very, very confused.
Seriously. According to the Sydney Morning Herald (the aptly named “smh.com.au”), Fox5NY was reporting on the record-breaking $179 million dollar sale of Picasso’s “Women of Algiers (Version O).” But one of those blue ladies of Algiers has visible nipples, and there were some other errant floating blue breasts (or breast-like shapes) floating around, so those got blurred out too. The Fox-approved version of the painting looks like this:
Glad I didn’t pay $179 million for a Picasso painting that was “retouched” by a Fox News employee. What a ripoff! 😉 pic.twitter.com/pe7GU9Rmlh
— Alberti’s Window (@albertis_window) May 12, 2015
New York magazine’s art critic, Jerry Saltz, was incensed.
“How sexually sick are conservatives & Fox News? They blurred parts of the Picasso painting. #SickMinds,” he Tweeted in response.
Of course, this means someone at Fox actually had to edit these photos. I can’t stop laughing, imagining what it must have been like to be that person. “OK, I blurred the big ones. Now do I blur those things up there? They kind of look like boobs. And is that a butt? Do I have to call my supervisor to ask if that is a butt? Ugh, it would be so much faster to just blur the whole painting and call it a day.”
This whole thing is completely ridiculous. Not only must #freethenipple liberate the chests of flesh and blood women, now people are cowering in terror at the sight of painted ones. Is it unhealthy to take children to art museums? Because if the Picasso is dirty, what on Earth must they think of Michelangelo’s David? We’d better start passing out fig leaves now. Maybe to be safe we should just glue them over our children’s eyes.