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Childrearing

I’m A Feminist And I Love Dressing My Daughter In Pink

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I never thought I’d be the mom who dresses her daughter in way too much pink. Then I had a daughter. Ask me what her closet looks like.

It wasn’t deliberate – she was spending the first few months of her life in clothes that had been bought for as gifts from friends and family. When the gifts started pouring in, I knew from experience that I already had enough clothes and didn’t bother buying her any. Then she began to grow out of those clothes. And I began to replace them.

Pink onesies. Bodysuits that said “princess” on them. Adorable little hearts and and frilly little bloomers. What was happening to my daughter’s wardrobe? I was shopping and filling my cart with a bunch of pink crap. And I was loving it.

I m A Feminist And I Love Dressing My Daughter In Pink original jpg

I was relieved when I found out my first child was a boy. I’ve always had this bit of paranoia that if I had a girl, I would try to shape her personality too much. How do I explain this in any way that will make sense? I never wanted to project too much of my own personality onto my child – and I felt that if I had a girl, I would inadvertently do just that. I kept all of my son’s clothes, convinced that I would put my daughter in them. I had all sorts of ideas about the toys I would buy her and the way her bedroom would look. None of those fantasies involved anything girly, of course.

I’m a feminist: a proud one. I write about the necessity to remove gender stereotypes from toy stores and clothing stores — and my daughter is the poster-child for the color pink. Oops.

She loves twirling around in dresses. It makes her happy. She also loves playing with Matchbox cars and has shunned every doll she’s been given. As she gets older, she can choose whatever she wants to wear, just like my mom let me choose. I spent a year of my young life wearing red tights every, single, day. I love that my mom allowed me the freedom to do that.

It took the birth of my daughter to make me realize that demanding our kids don’t be reamed with stereotypes and liking pink can exist in the same universe. The options are there – I’m just not choosing them. Nobody is forcing me to dress my child in pink. My little girl’s personality and character is going to take its own unique shape no matter what color she’s dressed in. When she’s old enough to choose her own clothes, she can shun the pink immediately if she sees fit. Feminism is about choices – not whether a woman dresses the part or not.

For now — I’m keeping her in tutus.

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