I've been a mom for almost 18 years. Typing that out is so scary! 18 years. That is old enough (well, hopefully not yet) for my oldest human to go have humans of his own. And I can remember the first time I had one of these humans and tried to figure out how to feed them. I went from being on my own and constructing amazing meals from ramen noodles and half a snack sized bag of stale Cheetos to creating food for my people that is nutritious and satisfying. Here are some things I have learned along the way about how to feed a family.
Go To Whole Foods And Purchase A Ripe, California Grown, Organic Avocado For Seven Dollars. Mash This Up For Your Baby And Watch Him Throw It On The Ground.
Create Healthy, Nutritious Meals For Your Toddler Involving All Four Food Groups And Enjoy Watching Them Refuse To Eat It.
Eating Fruits And Vegetables Are Incredibly Important. Spend A Lot of Money On These Things So They Can Turn Into Grey Sludge In Your Produce Bin.
Only Purchase Organic Brand Macaroni And Cheese For Your Children. Prepare It Lovingly And Present It To Them. Eat The Cold Dregs Of It At Your Kitchen Sink While You Listen To Them Complain That It Isn't Kraft.
You Can Prepare An Amazingly Delicious Meal For Your Family By Adding Meat, Vegetables, And Seasoning To A Crockpot And Forgetting To Turn The Crockpot On And Then Ordering Pizza When You Realize This At Seven PM.
Have Fun With Mealtimes. Instead Of Creating Gourmet Meals Every Night, Feed Your Family A Big Bowl Of Cold Cereal.
Speaking Of Cold Cereal, Teens Love Eating Cold Cereal At Two In The Morning And Leaving You No Milk For Your Morning Coffee, So When You Have Kids Make Sure To Purchase At Least Six Gallons Of Milk A Week.
Toddlers Can Go Through Phases Where They Are Picky Eaters. Instead Of Buying Cheese Sticks, Organic Yogurt Tubes, And Healthy Fingers Foods, Just Buy Something They (And You!) Will Actually Eat, Like Goldfish Crackers And Oreos.
It's Good To Teach Your Kids To Try New Things, So Instead Of Going To The Taco Bell On The Corner, Go To The One Down The Street From That One.
Try Not To Let Your Kids Eat In Front Of The TV. Serve Them Dinner In The Kitchen And Eat Your Own Meal While Watching Orange Is The New Black.
I hope these awesome tips will help you in creating memorable meals for your own family.
(Image: Lisa F. Young/shutterstock)