Stuff

To Increase Sales Of Her Amateur-Made-On-Purpose Sex Tape, Farrah Abraham Bought A Pregnancy Test

By  | 

Farrah Abraham PregnantTeens moms of the world! If you make a sex tape that you swear was a private encounter between you and another human and later it turns out that it was actually a porno movie you made on purpose and it isn’t making you an insta-Kardashian and you wanna sell more copies of the tape then do what Farrah Abraham ‘do! Get thee to the nearest Rite Aid and buy an EPT pregnancy test! TMZ is reporting this is what went down in the land of Teen Moms turned porno ladies:

Newly minted porn star Farrah Abraham is so worried James Deen knocked her up while filming their infamous sex tape … she peed on a stick. Sources close to Farrah tell TMZ … the former “Teen Mom” star hadn’t had sex in more than a year before James got her … and the duo didn’t wear condoms while filming … and Farrah wasn’t on birth control. Basically all the makings for an after school special. We’re told Farrah recently missed her period and started freaking out, thinking she was growing a little porn spawn.  So she went shopping for a pregnancy test at her local pharmacy.

The best part of this is what Farrah wore to the pharmacy, which, and no, I don’t have the photos for you, but I wish I did, can only be described as like Solid Gold dancer coupled with sky-high heels Real Housewife. But no! Actually, the best part about this is that according to what I have read, because I have not seen this fine piece of cinema, is that Ms. Abrahams has sex the sex way in which you have sex by having sex in your butt and it’s difficult to get pregnant this way, or so I am told, but not impossible because we all know sperm are sneaky, but she is possibly worried she may be having a butt baby.

Butt babies for everyone!

Because you all are awesome I will have my fingers crossed all morning that some brave reader or a reader who will use the Disquis anonymous tag will tell us that they were also made pregnant the butt baby way!

Regardless, the whole pregnancy thing worked for the sales of Kim’s amateur porno so why shouldn’t it work for Farrah’s on purpose porno? Butt babies!

(Photo: twitter)

14 Comments

  1. Alex Lee

    May 13, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Had to search. It appears James Deen has undergone a vasectomy prior to his film with Farrah. While this still doesn’t reduce the probability of anal-pregnancy to absolute zero, it is another relevant fact to consider.

    My Bing is now broken. You’re welcome.

    Oh God. “Vasectomy Gone Wrong Pictures”

    • Annie

      May 13, 2013 at 8:28 pm

      I was a post-vasectomy baby 😀 That was a long time ago though, and they have people getting them now give sperm samples to see if there’s any squigglers in their man gravy. (Sorry.)

      There’s also the obvious chance that she slept with someone else and omg anal pregnancy marry me.

  2. whiteroses

    May 13, 2013 at 11:45 am

    If she had sex with a porn star without a condom, methinks she might have a bit more to worry about than pregnancy. Like, I dunno, an STD.

    • Madame X

      May 13, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      I’m not sure there is any group of people in the world more regularly screened for STDs than high-profile porn stars. You can probably bet the farm on James Deen having a clean bill of health.

    • whiteroses

      May 13, 2013 at 1:06 pm

      I should have rephrased that. “If she had sex without a condom”.

      Then again, forward thinking doesn’t seem to be Abraham’s strong suit. I doubt she was considering STDs, her daughter, or anything else. All she saw was the dollar signs.

    • Eve Vawter

      May 13, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      can one of you please lie and say you got pregnant this way just to make me happy?

    • Talia Gamble

      May 13, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      I didn’t, but I have a cousin who swears that’s how her daughter was conceived. Apparently she is convinced jizz leaked out of her butt and into her vagina and that’s how she got pregnant…

    • whiteroses

      May 13, 2013 at 7:07 pm

      Wait… what? Really?
      How old is her daughter? Because we need to get that kid some quality sex-ed, STAT.

    • Annie

      May 13, 2013 at 8:29 pm

      Maybe if he went a2v. Gross. |:<

    • whiteroses

      May 13, 2013 at 7:06 pm

      It’s very much a “Glee sex in the hot tub” type of situation, no?

    • Annie

      May 13, 2013 at 8:30 pm

      I’ll have your butt babies, Eve.

  3. jisme

    May 14, 2013 at 4:09 am

    Its sad because most of these teen moms on tv are only in it for the fame and money. My daughter is a few months younger than the children from teen mom seasonn one and i was also pregnant at 16. It was an accident but me and her father are stilk together. its been hard but we are trying. i would just like to see another teen mom still with her child’s dad and who’s NOT living off their parents or making homemade porn trying to get “famous”

  4. Pingback: Farrah Abraham Is Not Pregnant

  5. Pingback: You Need To Know That Farrah Abraham Masturbates To Her Sex Tape

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *