An oldie, but a goodie. It's not like you need to get tanked but situations like this can cause anxiety and a glass or two of wine will go a long way toward calming the agita and making you less likely to flee.
2. Hang Out With The Kids
The adults in the room might be total assholes but usually, the kids are cool. A SpongeBob marathon in a downstairs living room far away from all the jerks? Don't mind if I do.
3. Kill Them With Kindness
Even when you can feel them recoil with disgust, make a big show of hugging them and greeting them enthusiastically. It both confuses them and makes you look even more like the innocent victim.
4. Buy Them Awful Gifts
This is solely for your own amusement. Find a really creepy Hummel figurine or a candle that smells like a combo of Pine-Sol and farts. Ask them to light it RIGHT NOW!
5. Let Your Kids Steal The Show
You can probably avoid any real attempts at conversation by making the kids the centerpiece of the day. Did Junior learn a rousing rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on the piano this year? Let him play it 73 times. Did your little princess make a cameo in your town's production of The Nutcracker last month? Fasten those ballet slippers tight and let her go! No one can stay mad with cute kids performing on demand. Also, keep drinking.
6. Be Vocal With Your End Game
Got a dog at home? Perfect- you have to leave by 4 pm so you don't come home to a shit on the floor. Does someone have to work early the next day? Shucks! No time for dessert. Make your appearance and GTFO.
7. Secure An Ally
Maybe not everyone in the family is awful. Try to cozy up to the one person you find least detestable so you at least have someone other than your spouse to make small talk with. If they all super suck, then you have my sympathies. Again, there's always alcohol.
8. Give Up And Stop Going
This is what it eventually came to for us with certain members of the family. It sucks and it's certainly not the first choice but in the end, don't let your holidays be torturous. You may have obligations but it should be a nice day for everyone. Don't suffer needlessly.
(Image: Defy Media)