Childrearing

Video: ‘Facebook Parenting For The Troubled Teen’ Shows Father’s Revenge

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tommy jordanTommy Jordan is pissed off with his 15-year-old daughter Hannah and her apparent lack of respect. When the North Carolina teenager wrote a Facebook post complaining about all the chores she has to do at home, Jordan wasn’t impressed. So he did was any parent would do: grabbed a gun and shot nine rounds of bullets into his daughter’s laptop. That’ll show her!

No, really, this nut job created a video, titled “Facebook Parenting: For The Troubled Teen” and posted it to YouTube. In the video, Jordan – who works in IT for a living – sits in a chair outdoors and reads from a piece of paper. He dedicates the video to his daughter and “all her friends on Facebook who thought that her little rebellious post was cute, and for all you parents out there who think your…kids don’t post bad things on Facebook.”

He goes on to explain how he managed to find Hannah’s Facebook post despite her privacy settings – he works in IT, after all – and proceeds to read the post out loud. (It’s typical teenage whining: her parents overwork her, she should be paid for the chores, blah blah blah.) After a seven-minute rant, Jordan stands up, grabs his .45 and shoots nine bullets – including “one from mom” – into Hannah’s computer resting next to him on the ground.

“Today, my daughter is getting a dose of tough love,” he writes in the video description.

From the YouTube comments I’ve read so far, there are a surprisingly high number of people applauding Jordan for his little life lesson. (“I hope to be this awesome one day,” wrote one commenter.) Um, excuse me, but when did having an adult hissy fit become “awesome?”

Don’t get me wrong: this man has a point. His daughter sounds whiny and ungrateful. But, let’s get real, don’t most teenagers sound whiny and ungrateful at some point? Isn’t that a rite of passage into adulthood? Yes, this girl posted her sentiments on Facebook for all the world – or at least for all her Facebook friends – to see. But isn’t that the modern-day version of writing in your diary? Granted one’s public and one’s private but, as far as most kids today are concerned, it’s the same thing. The post was meant for her friends, teens who can relate and share similar tales of woe.

It seems to me that Jordan, a man who claims to be so concerned with respect, is looking for his own 15 minutes. And he makes himself out to be a dick in the process. While I totally agree that kids should respect their parents, this guy is not exactly a stellar role model. In fact, he seems like a total creep.

I’m sure that Hannah learned her lesson, but he could have gone about teaching it to her in a more civilized way. She was simply venting and, in return, she got humiliated by her father in the most public of ways.

Sorry, but if anyone needs to grow up here, it’s Tommy Jordan.

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33 Comments

  1. Belinda Corwin

    February 10, 2012 at 1:38 am

    If Tommy Jordan had did this to her wife people would be saying get your children and get out.If you look on any domestic abuse site you will see that this behavior is abuse. I survived this kind of abuse and I pray someone will help this child.

    • Andrea

      February 10, 2012 at 11:45 pm

      Losing ones laptop is NOT abuse. I was abused. My father beat me on a daily basis… I WISH all he’d done was take away my electronic devices (which in those days consisted of an original Nintendo). Oh, poor little kid has to earn her own money to buy play things instead of mommy and daddy just handing it to her… yeah, that’s real abuse.

    • Charlotte

      February 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      I agree with you. Abuse of children can be called ‘tough love’ when in fact it would be called abuse in any other relationship. Public humiliation of a daughter accompanied by threats of ongoing punishment (three years’ worth) and a violent and bizarre act of destruction of property that had been given to the daughter, is abuse, plain and simple.

  2. Anonymous

    February 10, 2012 at 5:33 am

    Abuse? He seemed fairly calm, controlled, and rational to me. He certainly wasn’t in a rage, nobody else was around, nobody was threatened.

    While it is a shame to pull out a gun and waste a perfectly good laptop I can only hope that the shock value it created will be memorable.

    I can relate to Hannah on a number of levels…

    When I was a child we had THREE gardens. One of them was 3 acres in size. The other two were an acre each in size. We planted, weeded, watered, harvested what seemed like eternity. We cut and stacked wood in the summer and fall and burned wood in the winter. We raised poultry, etc, etc. We had to keep the house clean, help cook meals, do the dishes, etc.

    I HATED IT! I COULDN’T WAIT TO LEAVE HOME SO I COULD BE AWAY FROM MY SLAVE DRIVING PARENTS!

    My mother told me two things that stuck with me:

    1. I am not a perfect parent. I did my best. I made mistakes along the way. I love you and will always love you and you’re a grown man now (I was 18) so the best I can hope for now is that I did a good enough job that you’ll turn out okay.

    2. I worked you so hard because I wanted you to understand and appreciate what manual labor was. You’re SMART… if you don’t like manual labor then use your brain to go to college and get a good paying job so you won’t be stuck doing manual labor like I was.

    – I am now 36 years old.
    – I own my own business.
    – I have a six figure income.
    – I work in the Information Technologies sector.
    – I remember my mother cleaning houses just to make enough extra money to buy my bother and I a computer. I didn’t appreciate her sacrifice at the time but I sure as hell do now!
    – My business card is made out of stainless steel and cost $5 each to make.
    – I sent my mother the FIRST business card in the stack, told her I loved her, and that I would not be where I am today without her hard word, patience, and tough love.
    – I send money home every month and take care of my mother.
    – I know the value of hard work.
    – I know the value of a dollar.
    – I know that respect is not measured in dollars but in character.
    – I have compassion for those who have fallen on hard times and little use for those who have “entitlement attitudes”.

    I have a daughter now… she’s two…

    I hope and pray I will be as good of a parent to my daughter as my mother was to me.

    Tommy Jordan clearly loves his daughter.

    While I personally wouldn’t have pulled out a .45 and destroyed the laptop I might very well have given it to a needy person who was down on their luck and video taped that.

    I have to admit the .45 does add a certain amount of “shock value” and makes it memorable.

    Not knowing him or his daughter… I’ll defer to his judgment as to what is memorable and effective parenting for his daughter.

    • JJ

      February 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm

      “He seemed fairly calm, controlled, and rational to me.” That’s how serial killers are described. LOL He made the mistake of not only emulating the behavior he was opposed to in his daughter (public griping) but being publicly, violently destructive… at an unsafe range with fragmenting ammo. He’s an idiot. If every parent blasted a laptop because their teenager whined, practically every single parent would have to buy a gun and shoot a laptop. Teenage rebellion is expected, an adult coldly firing round after round into an expensive computer is spooky and deserves investigation.

    • Casper

      February 12, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Was this post about the topic or about you telling everybody how much money you make?

  3. Bobby

    February 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Oh come on this isn’t abusive an any way. I’m only 19 and agree 100% with what the man did. It’s clear she’s ungrateful and disrespectful for all her parents did. Man most of my life up until highschool would be considered hell compared to those chores she has to do.

    My generation and future generations really need to learn a thing or two. It’s clear he loves his daughter and would do anything for her. But there comes a time when someone takes too much for granted and you have to set them straight so they will realize how good they have it.

    Much repect for this man. I hope if I have a kid I can be just as good a father as he probably is.

  4. Renee

    February 10, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I really don’t like the idea of parents destroying their children’s things. Take it away, if you need to punish them. It may not be abuse, but it’s something abusers do in order to control their victims. (And it doesn’t matter if he paid for the laptop, it was still his daughter’s.)

    • Andrea

      February 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Assuming dad paid for it, no it isn’t. I tell my children that I respect their privacy and their things, but the minute they don’t appreciate it, it becomes MINE. I will certainly not pay however much a laptop costs these days to have my kid turn around and disrespect me in front of all his FB buddies.

      Their stuff is their stuff until they become brats.

    • Renee

      February 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm

      Yes, legally anything of your child’s is yours (even if he/she pays for it with their babysitting money). I agree with taking stuff away (temporarily) – just not destroying it. (Obviously, if the kid has something illegal or dangerous, I’m getting rid of it.) But, I believe in letting kids have their stuff and to take responsibility for their things. I also think kids should work and save for expensive toys (or share them with the family). It’s a way to let kids learn independence. (And curb bratiness.)

  5. Lexigore

    February 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    When I was a kid, if I was steamed at my parents at something, I would either talk to the, or if I was too mad I’d write them a scathing letter. We always talked it through, I always loved them for it and I will do the same for my girl.

    This kid wrote a clear letter expressing that she was angry, feeling overburdened, overworked and stressed and instead of at least trying to talk it through with her, her dad judged her, punished her and destroyed her prized possession. No wonder she’s resorting to writing angry letters with his reaction!

    I think this is terrible.

    • Charlotte

      February 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      I agree. Considering his reaction, it’s no surprise that the only recourse she felt she had was to unburden to her facebook friends. This whole scenario makes me sick to my stomach. I wish she’d give the world some sign of life. Even better would be if she were removed from the home while the father was given parenting and anger-management lessons.

  6. JayH

    February 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    I support any parent’s right to take away a child’s computer if she is breaking house rules for using it. But I fail to see how any case can be made that parental discipline requires the discharge of a weapon. The message this guy seems to be sending to his daughter isn’t one of tough love but rather “you and your friends should be more afraid of me than you are.” What kind of message does posting a YouTube video of you shooting your child’s computer because she said rude things about you send other than that your child’s behavior made you want to shoot somebody or something? If this guy is for real, I hope he finds that the experience was worth the visits from child protective services and the court ordered parenting classes that are likely coming his way.

  7. Ellie

    February 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    Trying to figure out how a guy blowing away a computer that he owns warrants CPS. Nope, can’t.

    I agree that he is an idiot and handled this completely the wrong way. And that his daughter is going to move away and change her name the minute she turns 18. But he’s hasn’t actually harmed her. She is going to be fine. Especially when she does get out on her own and finds out that nobody is going to pay her to take care of her own place. 🙂

  8. Andrea

    February 10, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    While I don’t like guns or destroying property, I for one applaud the dad. You talk about publicly humiliating her? Isn’t that what SHE did? Most teenagers have around 500 to 1000 friends in FB. So she whined and complained and disrespected her parents to that many people. So dad did the same. I think it was great and maybe next time she will keep her whining to a minimum.

    I wouldn’t have shot the laptop and probably wouldn’t have thought of making a Youtube video, but for sure that laptop was going away if I had been in his shoes.

    Well done dad and keep up the good work. I wish more parents would try to PARENT and stop trying to be their kids friend.

  9. Krista

    February 10, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Right on, Mr. Jordan. Shock value is exactly what teenagers in first-world countries need. Maybe when she sees how easily the material things in her life can be destroyed, she’ll place some higher value on the immaterial… like the hard work and responsibility needed to maintain a job that PAYS for material goods. I’d have done the same thing.

  10. rachel

    February 10, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    Contrary to popular belief, a child does own property legally. My daughter has medicaid due to medical needs and has to list all the property she owns. usually meaning savings bonds, ect. So, the computer did indeed belong legally to the girl regardless of who purchased it. Next, never ever use a weapon to punish a child. It’s a foolish, stupid and immature thing to do. Though he did not threaten her directly with he gun it does send that type of message. Might as well have placed to gun to h head and told her never go on FB or else.

  11. Jill

    February 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    A parent that loves his child and cares enough to parent her… wow. Let’s call CPS. How about mind your own business and make sure your own house is in order. He put this out there and has refused all radio and tv interviews because he said its not about money. Good for him. Walk a mile in his shoes… and for those freaking out about a gun. Get over yourself. He could have ran over it or throw it in the trash… so he shot it. His right.

  12. Jill

    February 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    A parent that loves his child and cares enough to parent her… wow. Let’s call CPS. How about mind your own business and make sure your own house is in order. He put this out there and has refused all radio and tv interviews because he said its not about money. Good for him. Walk a mile in his shoes… and for those freaking out about a gun. Get over yourself. He could have ran over it or throw it in the trash… so he shot it. His right.

  13. Ashley

    February 10, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    I think it’s great – as a parent of a bratty teenage girl. My other teen daughter has a completely different personality and I couldn’t fathom it ever getting to this point, but the bratty one would have very much deserved this! My experience is that the defiant daughter really, really needs to know boundaries for her own security. My opinion is that this dad stepped up to show that he absolutely meant what he said. He likely threatened until he was blue in the face. I may not have done this myself, but I find no fault with him at all.

  14. Liz

    February 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    It’s my understanding that children do not have the right to privacy. This was taught to my son in a criminal justice class. Parents have the right to all of their facebook,phones,text,emails information,all of it. As soon as my son learn this he went home told my granddaughter (14)that from now on he was to be able to see all of her info. There is also an app that can be downloaded that can let you see the text that they try and delete, the text comes straight to your phone. Abuse, please. What kind? A parent doing what he says he going to do. What is the world coming to? I really wonder how old some of the people who are posting on here are. Because people my age, 52, they know what would have happened to them. As far as being civilized, how old are your children? Not all can be sat down and talked to. Seems like he tried it that way and it didn’t work. I think he did right by following thru. How much respect would she have had if he hadn’t. I really don’t get people who put all their business out their on facebook and then complain when someone comments and they don’t like it. It’s about time that parents started acting like parents and not best friends.

  15. Kayla

    February 11, 2012 at 12:38 am

    I don’t by any means agree with the people who are saying that this is abuse. Its not, it is merely childish over-reaction, Jordan is allowed to rant to everyone on the internet, but his daughter is not. I didn’t use Facebook in High School (I’m only 23 so it was around when I when a teen but I didn’t start using it until later on) but I did gripe in that EXACT same way to my friends. Everything is a production or seems like the end of the world when you live in that myopic high school world. You would all hang out in a friend’s basement or at the park and exchange horror stories about your parents and vent. She set her privacy settings so this rant was only available to her friends, who were her intended audience, it was just a new generational way to rant to her friends. It sounded like plain old teenage angst to me. Her dad finding her way around her privacy settings to read her status would be the same as my mother picking the lock on my journal or eavesdropping on my friends.

    • Katherine

      February 11, 2012 at 2:18 pm

      http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/am-i-being-abused/ I can see that Hannah could answer yes to quite a few of these. Just because she is his daughter, therefore this list shouldn’t apply to her is a horrible argument that seems to be blowing up. He is a frustrated parent. She is a brat. Or so this video makes us think. There isn’t even proof any of this is real. Some have said his page points to a charity and that all of this is him being a troll. Others have said if this is true, is this child’s safety an issue that society as a whole needs to be concerned about, instead of giving thumbs up to a very immature dad, who probably has instilled that into his daughter. How about we all find out if this is true?

  16. John

    February 13, 2012 at 1:51 am

    Too many parents want to be their children’s friend, and not a parent. See Billy Ray Cyrus. The job of parents is to raise their child to be a responsible, contributing member of the family and community, among other things. This guy’s daughter has a not untypical teenage attitude. She is expected to contribute to her family in the only way she can, not being employed and all. What she did was disrespectful, irresponsible and stupid. Young people-sorry- use facebook as a self-expression vehicle that reveals immature and selfish attitudes. To an extent, this is not unusual teen behavior, and he dealt with it previously in a “more civilized manner,” by restricting her computer access and such. Apparently, this made no impression, as she feels entitled and put upon by having to do household chores for a family of father, mother and others. To think of all the children without parents or who are truly abused makes me ill. So do the people who think that this is abuse and Mr. Jordan should be reported to the authorities. The only second thought I have is that this is a waste of good .45 hollow point ammo. Ball ammo would have worked just fine on the laptop. Thanks, Mr. Jordan!

  17. Amy

    February 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Oh come on, how is this abuse? If you see the dad’s facebook page, he has follow-up posts about how his daughter is doing just fine, and how they’ve laughed about the situation now. He also says he took the time to call his wife first, and she agreed with him. Children don’t have the right to their own laptop, especially one their parents paid for. I didn’t have one until college. All this guy did, was exactly what he said he would do.

    • Charlotte

      February 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      Yes — the updates are all coming from the father. We’ve heard nothing at all from the daughter. Yet more evidence of what a nightmare of a control-freak the father is. Considering the world-wide furor the video has caused, one would think that a reasonable man would consider it prudent to permit his daughter to, at the very least, let everyone know that she is OK, but no. Jordan is neither a reasonable nor a prudent man — he is very much the opposite. I fear for his daughter even more now, and I also fear for the children of those parents applauding the actions of this obviously very sick man.

    • Anon

      February 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      Grounded, learn the term. He’s obviously a man who goes on his words.

      “he has follow-up posts about how his daughter is doing just fine”

      Is this not showing that the daughter is ok? Ma’am you obviously can’t read.

      I’m a teen like her. I have to do everything that girl has to do and more, and I don’t bitch and complain about any of it. I applaud this man for his actions. Parents are supposed to be guiding figures, not friends. Tough love is always needed for repeat offenders.

      The laptop is his property, he has every right to punch bullets through it. Heck, he probably should have just pulverized it with some buckshots.

  18. Matth

    February 13, 2012 at 11:12 am

    A perfect response from someone who clearly thinks this guy took it too far!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3IuhdDiyJ4

  19. Michael M

    February 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    This is my opinion on the matter:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_VmTt8PGsY

  20. Katherine

    February 14, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    Oh my god. Really? While I think that he could have handled the situation better and not posted it on facebook, he isn’t abusing his daughter. This is just another form of back seat parenting.

  21. Lana

    February 17, 2012 at 1:06 am

    Did you read his fallow up statement? Or see him on the news recently? He flat out told his daughter when she was grounded for 3 months that the next time she did anything like that online he would put a bullet in her computer. He was fallowing through. And as an IT guy I’m sure he can part out the remains. I would urge you to read up on this issue a bit further. And I’d also urge you to get off your high horse.

  22. Pingback: Parents Who Publicly Shame Their Kids Are The Worst

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