News

12 People Who Are Mad The #JusticeforEricGarner Protests Ruined The Christmas Tree Lighting

By  | 

Last night, while reporting on the news that there would be no indictment for the police officer who caused Eric Garner‘s death by putting him in a chokehold, Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson raised a serious concern with the protests that were sure to take place that night. What if they interrupted the annual Christmas tree lighting at the Rockefeller Center?

Carlson wasn’t the only one terrified that her view of the Rockettes might be obstructed by an “I Can’t Breathe” protest sign. Angry whiners immediately took to Twitter to cry about how protesters were Grinchily ruining Christmas, because hearing Mariah Carey sing “All I Want For Christmas Is You” for the millionth time is now apparently a sacred holiday tradition that must not be impeded in any way.

1. Christmas = ruinederic garner protest christmas tree lighting 2The protesters are trying, very specifically, to ruin Dirty Randy’s Christmas. This is way worse than people losing their businesses to the protests in Ferguson, and definitely way worse than a black man dying at the hands of the police, because it directly affects Dirty Randy.

2. Won’t someone please think of the children? My children? eric garner protest christmas tree lighting 6Dear protesters, please find a place to protest where nobody will have to pay attention to you. Sincerely, half of New York.

3. Howard here knows all about classlessnesseric garner protest christmas tree lighting 12“It’s classless,” he proclaimed, as he added a hashtag being used to honor a dead man so that his anti-protest statements would be sure to provoke attention and start arguments.

4. A time and a place

eric garner protest christmas tree lighting 1“I daresay there’s a time and a place for everything. Those riotous hooligans pouring tea into the harbor, why, do they not ask themselves what we are to serve as a beverage at young Martha’s birthday party? Surely the young mistress’s festivities will suffer utter ruination.”

5. If you can’t trust Urban Redneck on this, who CAN you trust?eric garner protest christmas tree lighting 5I’m really amazed at how easily all these people’s Christmases are ruined. I didn’t realize the entire Christmas season was now encapsulated in a single tree lighting in a single American city. Someone had better call Fox News and tell them that Urban Redneck is waging the War on Christmas by trying to make the whole Yuletide season only a couple hours long.

6. Just cuz

eric garner protest christmas tree lighting 7Yes, the protesters are out just because they got a wild idea in their heads to protest, you know, for fun. Their only goal: destroy the Rockefeller tree lighting. Or was it the idea that black lives or disposable that they’re trying to take down? Either way, I guess – it all works out the same for Dylan in the end.

Pages: 1 2

1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Indiana Cop Selling Breathe Easy Pro-Police Shirts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *