mom fun

10 Most Ridiculous Depictions Of Parenthood From The ‘It’s Like They Know Us’ Tumblr

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Some of you may have picked up on the fact that I love to lampoon stupidly expensive stuff that is totally unrealistic for families with children. In the past, I have skewered American Girl dolls, ridiculous nurseries meant for grown-ups and the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. I realize that these companies are not trying to make product set-ups that regular people can relate to and that they are selling a fantasy rather than reflecting the reality of the typical family but I still find it laughable that they even try to shill a bright white couch for a child’s playroom. Or that they think a 7-year old girl should have a $300 “parlor” for her $125 doll. It is all pretty silly and making fun of it is a great hobby.

When I was sent the link to the “It’s Like They Know Us” Tumblr, I felt like I was with my people. The quote at the top of the page is “Relax on your pristine white couch and enjoy these realistic depictions of motherhood”. I mean, these people get me and other mothers like me who know that these images are positively unrelatable on every level. They find photos from websites or catalogs with completely unrealistic scenarios of families, women and children. Each entry made me laugh more than the one before it so it was tough to narrow it down but I have assembled my 10 favorites from their large collection along with the brilliant quotes included with each picture:

1. On Laundry

http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-images-laundry-ironing-woman-break-drink-image18595309

“The days are long, the years are short, but laundry is forever.”

2. On Shopping With Kids

http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photography-family-shopping-woman-children-shop-cart-supermarket-store-image29720347

 “I love going to the store with multiple children! My toddler always goes right into the cart and never desperately clings to anything within reach like a cat being put into a bathtub only to then chuck all of my groceries across the store like a demented Donkey Kong while my two oldest get into a fist fight because one of them got to put an extra thing on the check-out conveyor belt. Wheeee!”

3. On Feeding The Baby

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-mothers-feeding-babies-image18936114

“You were right! Ever since we started White Couch Feeding with Emmett, he’s been eating like a champ.”

4. On Family Fun Time

soccer

“Hey, it’s looking pretty overcast outside. Whaddaya say we put on our wool sweaters and rain boots and play a quick game of soccer in the ocean?”

5. On Dads

hot dad

“Do do do, I’m just walking down the street, being gorgeous, with your beverage, and your baby, and your bags.”

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56 Comments

  1. LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

    October 14, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Totally not the point of the article(which is awesome, BTW), but Ergobay Dad is super hot.

    • Valerie

      October 14, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      Oh God so hot.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 14, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Here’s the real question…is he hotter than Coroner Guy from Meredith’s Hallooween post yesterday? Hmmmmm…

    • Valerie

      October 14, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      Oh hell yes. Coroner guy is like, a 4. Fantasy Dad is a solid 10.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 14, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      I don’t know…he’s a little too well-groomed. I don’t think I couldn’t trust a man with such well-shaped eyebrows.

    • Williwaw

      October 14, 2014 at 7:38 pm

      I just cannot get into a guy who is better groomed than I am.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 14, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Me either. Just doesn’t do it for me in the pants region.

    • KieraAydemireom

      October 15, 2014 at 8:07 am

      my be­st friends mum go­t a ni­ce si­x month ol­d Lex­us NX 300h SU­V jus­t b­y some pa­rttime work­ing onli­ne with a cheap la­ptop. see page >FREELANCING

    • biggerthanthesound

      October 15, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Some people are just born like that.

  2. LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

    October 14, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    Also, the nose cleaning, dear god, the nose cleaning! I am convinced there is no stronger creature in the universe than a baby trying to get away from the nasal aspirator aka brain stealing device.

    • JAN

      October 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      Yes, anything to do with the nose. Whether it’s trying to saline, aspirate, or simply wipe my nine month old’s nose, it’s like he gains superhuman strength and agility. I’d have as much luck trying to clip the cat’s nails.

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 14, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      Oh man, mine hates the saline too. He wiggles and yells and fights and eventually ends up getting squirted in the eye, which starts off an epic crying spell EVERY TIME.

    • Valerie

      October 15, 2014 at 6:43 am

      My 5 year old STILL freaks if I try to help him wipe his nose.

    • Looby

      October 14, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      More proof I have a weirdo spawn. She loves the nosefrida and will bring it and the saline spray over when she finds it in the baby bag.

    • ChelseaBFH

      October 14, 2014 at 5:30 pm

      My babies LOVE the saline! As soon as it comes out they line up like I’m giving out candy, and when I squirt it they laugh like I’m tickling them. So weird.

  3. Spongeworthy

    October 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    I was in tears of laughter when I first saw this on tumblr. So many white people smiling at salads. So many women who apparently bring their toddlers to business meetings like its NBD. And so much beige. It’s just like my life!

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

      I love how the baby in #8 appears to be giving the meeting topic some serious consideration.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 14, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      He is giving those TPS reports a serious once-over.

    • Boozy Shark Lee

      October 14, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Umm, yeah.

    • LaughingRat

      October 14, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      You mean you’re not supposed to give your dinner a reassuring smile to reinforce your camraderie with it? I guess I’ve been doing it wrong. Stupid misleading media influences!

    • Valerie

      October 14, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      So many amazing pumping scenarios! Like, pumping in a little pin-up quality fancy bra. Pumping in a photo studio. Pumping while you eat breakfast and relax.

    • Emily A.

      October 15, 2014 at 7:44 am

      While motherhood is a pretty relaxing endeavor, one is never *as* relaxed and calm as while pumping.

    • ted3553

      October 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      I have been going to business meetings for years and have never seen a baby or toddler at one of them. I will now be leading the charge for change and bringing my 2 year old. I think everyone will have a hearty laugh when he runs around announcing “bear poop” “change bear diaper” to all the executives amidst brushing their hair and having a snack. It will be photo perfect.

  4. Shadow

    October 14, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Okay number ten had me in stitches!

    On a different note what the fuck is that thing in number seven??!!

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 14, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      You put one end in baby’s nose and then suck on the other end to dislodge any boogers. It’s a real product.

    • Korine

      October 14, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      Oh it’s an awesome product at that. But you gotta get past some mental hurdles first….

    • JAN

      October 14, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      I agree it’s awesome and I think it works much better than a bulb aspirator but it still has that mental barrier wherein your sucking snot out of your child’s nose with your mouth!

    • LA Face, Oakland Booty (and

      October 14, 2014 at 4:12 pm

      I have not made it past the mental barriers. I know everyone says it is a great product, but I am far too squeamish.

    • Linzon

      October 14, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      I found it horrifyingly satisfying to suck a baby’s head dry but my husband had to leave the room.

    • jane

      October 14, 2014 at 6:00 pm

      I’m so with you. Thank god mine are past the infant stage because nope nope nope nope never ever ever ever.

    • Katherine Handcock

      October 14, 2014 at 6:32 pm

      You are not alone in that. I refuse.

    • alexesq33

      October 15, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      I had to get over it with a 1.5 month old preemie with a serious serious cold. aspirator did not work the snot was so bad / deep in there. and the poor little thing couldn’t breathe and therefore couldn’t eat. But yea, took me a while to really love it. But now I LOVE IT! it just gets everything out.

    • ChelseaBFH

      October 14, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      It’s amazing. The only downside is that you are guaranteed to catch any cold that your child has, since you are literally sucking the germs into your lungs.

    • guest

      October 14, 2014 at 4:05 pm

  5. LeggEggTorpedoTits

    October 14, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    What. I totally was the model for #10. Doesn’t everyone do that?

    Give me poop, vomit, blood…I can handle it. Snot? Every NO that ever was.
    I did it, I did. But I gagged and vomited every single time. There’s only one other thing that makes me gag like that. <– I'm just going to leave that there.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      October 14, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      …well, I guess you won’t have to worry about any more snot production facilities if you stick to the other thing as your sole emetic…

      Annnnnd now I just managed to hit all my gastric revolt points in one sentence! Go me?

    • LeggEggTorpedoTits

      October 14, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/4th.gif

      I picked this gif because you made a funny and it was awesome…and because it is just friggin’ hilarious.

    • Spongeworthy

      October 14, 2014 at 4:50 pm

      This is…mesmerizing.

    • LeggEggTorpedoTits

      October 14, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      I know! It must be like one of those special mushroom induced thingies I know nothing about…. gaze and giggle

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      October 14, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      The wiggling…!

      The fact that I’m still chortling just about makes up for the fact that I’ve spent all day moving, which makes you the awesomest person I know!

    • LeggEggTorpedoTits

      October 14, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      I am here for you!!! Always with the joyful wiggling… I know all about the wiggling…

    • alexesq33

      October 15, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      can’t. look. away.

    • Williwaw

      October 14, 2014 at 7:40 pm

      I have never in my life needed a laugh as much I I did today. Thank you.

    • Valerie

      October 15, 2014 at 6:41 am

      So glad you got one! 🙂

  6. Airbones

    October 14, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    #9ing right now!

    • Valerie

      October 14, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      We’ve all been there! Hahahaha

  7. LaughingRat

    October 14, 2014 at 4:39 pm

    They’re doing #4 wrong. Everyone knows you only play overcast beachfront soccer while wearing your matching handknit virgin merino wool scarves and hats. Duh.

  8. Frannie

    October 14, 2014 at 5:20 pm

    The last one. Glorious!

    • Katherine Handcock

      October 14, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      That is by far my favourite!

    • Valerie

      October 15, 2014 at 6:42 am

      I about lost it when I saw that one. So so so random and awkward.

  9. jendra_berri

    October 14, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    I love this blog!
    And people are entering into parenthood thinking it’s going to be pretty. Why? This is why!

  10. Blueathena623

    October 14, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Number 6 for the win!

  11. Marisa Quinn-Haisu

    October 14, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    I love my baby but I would rather punch myself in the face than suck snot out of her nose

  12. Joye77

    October 14, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    I just discovered this tumblr last week and I love it!

  13. Abby

    October 15, 2014 at 9:36 am

    First: this has rapidly become one of my favorite Tumblrs.

    And second, re #7: I have the weirdo kid who actually relaxes when he sees the aspirator… at least when I’m the one doing it. When it’s his dad, he F L I P S, but with me, it’s all smiles, like “Oh hi, mom! Thanks for rescuing me from snot!” Because my kid is a weirdo.

  14. alexesq33

    October 15, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Nosefrida 4 LIFE!
    sorry luvs that thing so much. No more snuffly babies.
    also – is the guy in the forefront of #8 wearing a fuzzy cap or is that his hair?

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