Some of you may have picked up on the fact that I love to lampoon stupidly expensive stuff that is totally unrealistic for families with children. In the past, I have skewered American Girl dolls, ridiculous nurseries meant for grown-ups and the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. I realize that these companies are not trying to make product set-ups that regular people can relate to and that they are selling a fantasy rather than reflecting the reality of the typical family but I still find it laughable that they even try to shill a bright white couch for a child's playroom. Or that they think a 7-year old girl should have a $300 "parlor" for her $125 doll. It is all pretty silly and making fun of it is a great hobby.
When I was sent the link to the "It's Like They Know Us" Tumblr, I felt like I was with my people. The quote at the top of the page is "Relax on your pristine white couch and enjoy these realistic depictions of motherhood". I mean, these people get me and other mothers like me who know that these images are positively unrelatable on every level. They find photos from websites or catalogs with completely unrealistic scenarios of families, women and children. Each entry made me laugh more than the one before it so it was tough to narrow it down but I have assembled my 10 favorites from their large collection along with the brilliant quotes included with each picture:
1. On Laundry
"The days are long, the years are short, but laundry is forever."
2. On Shopping With Kids
"I love going to the store with multiple children! My toddler always goes right into the cart and never desperately clings to anything within reach like a cat being put into a bathtub only to then chuck all of my groceries across the store like a demented Donkey Kong while my two oldest get into a fist fight because one of them got to put an extra thing on the check-out conveyor belt. Wheeee!"
3. On Feeding The Baby
"You were right! Ever since we started White Couch Feeding with Emmett, he’s been eating like a champ."
4. On Family Fun Time
"Hey, it’s looking pretty overcast outside. Whaddaya say we put on our wool sweaters and rain boots and play a quick game of soccer in the ocean?"
5. On Dads
"Do do do, I’m just walking down the street, being gorgeous, with your beverage, and your baby, and your bags."
6. On Kids And Health Food
"Don’t go towards the light, Johnny. Stay here with your salad."
7. On The Nose Frida
"My child never responds to the nasal aspirator like a panicked feral animal. Deep down in her baby brain she knows that Mommy is trying to help. I enjoy sucking snot out of her face."
8. On Working Moms
"My clients love when I bring the baby to meetings. My severe bun lets them know I mean business."
9. On Toddler Time
"I am getting so much work done. Toddlers are easy."
10. On Pumping Glamour Shots
"Hey, girlfriend! I’m just over here at the JC Penney Portrait Studio trying to get some work done."
(All Images: "It's Like They Know Us" Tumblr)