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Childrearing

This Dude Trolled The Whole World With The Worst Baby Name Imaginable

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There are a lot of bad baby names in the world. Neveah and Abcde barely register as bad baby names anymore, next to names like Cyanide and Felony (Felony is a real name someone in North Dakota put on a baby girl). But one realm of bad baby naming that is rarely plumbed is the world of the ridiculously on-trend baby name. There have always been name trends. Sophia is trendy now. Kylo Ren and Elsa are up there. But what of the stupid fad names? I’m worried about saying this because I’m afraid that if I speak it I will make it true, but there almost certainly is a toddler out there named Left Shark, isn’t there? Well if there is, little Left Shark will be a great big sister figure to little baby Fidget Spinner, who will probably be the only person in 10 years that even remembers fidget spinners were a thing.

Now I want to name some babies Tamagotchi and Slap Bracelet.

This all started because a guy on Facebook going by Skweezy Jibbs posted an all-caps announcement that he’d gotten a “random ass call” from a woman he’d hooked up with who said she was giving birth, it was his baby, and that she wanted him to sign the birth certificate. So he said yes but only if he got to name the baby. She agreed.

What was the terrible baby name this guy chose? Fidgit Spinner.

He posted a photo of himself holding up the birth certificate as evidence, and his 53,000 Facebook followers went nuts. Some loved the name, some said it was child abuse, and some said the name was awful, but at least Skweezy Jibbs actually showed up and signed the birth certificate.

Some even offered legal advice and told Jibbs to get a paternity test.

“Congratulations, you’re now locked into child support for a kid who may not even be yours lol,” one woman wrote.

“I AINT LOCKED IN2 SHIT I SIGNED SOME1 ELSES NAME,” Jibbs replied.

In news that will hopefully be of huge relief to a lot of the worried people following Jibbs on Facebook and who are calling CPS to report that he actually named a child Fidgit Spinner,  this is actually all a joke. According to Mashable, Skweezy Jibbs is actually a fake persona of comedian Tim Savage.

There’s no Fidgit Spinner. There’s not even really a Skweezy Jibbs.

I still kinda want to name a baby Slap Bracelet, though.

(Facebook / Skweezy Jibbs)

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