This Video Of Trump Trying To Get Melania To Hold His Tiny Hand Is Awkward AF
Did this video make me cringe? Why yes, yes it did. But did it also make me laugh? Let’s put it this way: I did one of those barking seal laughs and scared the dog so much she peed a little. This week, the White House welcomed French President Emmanuel Macron and First Lady Brigitte Macron for the first state dinner of this dumpster fire administration. President and First Lady Macron arrived like a breath of fresh air, all intelligence and sophistication and all the things we’ve been missing since January 2017. President* Donald Trump and First Lady* Melania greeted them upon their arrival, and gifted us with the most awkward hand-holding attempt we’ve seen … since that other time they had an awkward hand-holding attempt. No one wants to hold your tiny hands, asshole.
Is there anyone who wants to hold hands with Donald Trump LESS than his own wife?
Like, wow. Wow! Just trying to sneak a tiny pinkie into her hand. She knows where those hands have been, Donnie, and she wants nothing to do with them. I’m no fan of Melania, but I feel for her a tiny bit. Imagine marrying a guy for his money and then being thrust into the international spotlight, having to pretend you don’t loathe the loaf of unbaked bread you married.
But can you blame her for not wanting to hold his hand? This is the guy who lets his wife and kid flap in the windy rain so his top-of-the-head squirrel pelt stays dry.
Since we’re on the subject, let us revisit the original hand-holding denial. It’s a good one.
I think Melania does it on purpose, and I am here for it. She’s like, I will stand here and not smile but don’t even THINK about touching me with those tiny hands.