breastfeeding

Doc Tries To Outlaw Public Breastfeeding Because Men Shouldn’t Be Exposed To Boobs ‘Against Their Will’

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patrick-johnstonYet another idiot man is speaking out against breastfeeding this week, and his laundry list of why it’s offensive is so dumb you almost have to laugh. I said, almost. That there is this level of ignorance in the world is a little too troubling to actually be funny.

Dr. Patrick Johnston, the director of the anti-abortion group Personhood Ohio, wants to ban all nudity because he claims topless women who protested outside his church are an “offense to God.” No, they weren’t breastfeeding. Try to stick with me here while I attempt to insert logic where logic doesn’t live to explain this.

A handful of women from a local strip club marched outside of the New Beginnings Ministries church in Warsaw earlier this month. They had endured nine years of the church’s protests in front of their club, and got fed up with being regularly called “tramps” and “whores” by these people of God. So they decided to turn the tables on the church, and protest topless outside their Sunday services. Brilliant!

Johnston responded to the protests by asking Ohioans to call the legislature in support of banning “all public nudity in the state.” Not only would this get rid of the tiny protests that are happening outside the church, but it would have the bonus effect of not allowing women to breastfeed, since they have to expose their breasts briefly to do so. Oh, also – boobs promote gay pride, and he’s not having any of that. Johnson said he’s never seen more boobs in public than he did at the Gay Pride parade.

“I am sick that women can legally bare their breasts to children and to married men against their will in Ohio,” he wrote on his Facebook page following last week’s protest.

So, are you following? A boob ban equals no more “tramps” and “whores,” no more breastfeeding, and no more gay pride. Because, that makes total sense. He definitely wants to make sure all the babies are born, as his Facebook page boasts he’s pro-life “without exception,” he just doesn’t want them to be fed when they’re hungry, because – gross. Boobs.

(photo: Facebook)

122 Comments

  1. Cee

    August 20, 2014 at 8:13 am

    Nobody cares about your boner!

    • Spongeworthy

      August 20, 2014 at 8:17 am

      I want this on a T-shirt.

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 10:25 am

      I want it on a baby beanie, so it’s what you see when the kid is breastfeeding.

    • 2Well

      August 20, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    • 2Well

      August 20, 2014 at 8:56 am

      For him it’s the opposite. This plus his pro-life without exception stance (even a mother’s life?????????) sounds like he thinks women have cooties.

    • Lackadaisical

      August 20, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      Perhaps it is the strange urge we all get to punch him when we have 5 minutes of his opinions inflicted on us that makes him fear us so much.

    • scooby23

      August 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      I’d rather not be exposed to his boner against my will.

  2. Spongeworthy

    August 20, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Whenever I see idiots like this making idiotic statements, and they have Dr. in front of their name, it always makes me think of Sleepless in Seattle. Tom Hanks’ son is trying to get him to talk to a radio shrink claiming she’s a doctor, and he says “A doctor of what? Her first name could be doctor.” That’s pretty much what I think of these “doctors”.

    • Aimee

      August 20, 2014 at 8:24 am

      Apparently he’s a for-real family physician (he’s the founder of that pro-life physicians association) … just a really terrible one, I guess. I wonder if he’s willing to put in orders for patients to have mammograms – a technologist or radiologist might accidentally get exposed to boobs and THEN where would we be?!

    • Spongeworthy

      August 20, 2014 at 8:26 am

      Everyone knows boobs are the gateway drug to a life of sin and debauchery!

    • Spitting_mad

      August 20, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      “Stumbling block”.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Come on, we all know radiology techs are going to hell. Because boobs!

    • Lackadaisical

      August 20, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Perhaps he thinks the devastation that is breast cancer is our punishment for the sin of boob owning. Personally I think he is so obsessed with boobs (everyone else is better at resisting their siren call after all) that he would lecture the woman on her sinful boobs then gaze lustfully at her mammogram in private while imagining the real thing.

    • shel

      August 20, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      As a family practice physician.. that could include delivering babies- ie checkin’ out the vag. And most certainly should include well woman care, which would be pelvic exams and BREAST exams in the office.
      Unless he only sees male patients, he should be seeing breasts and other naked body parts on the regular. Or he’s a terrible, terrible physician (or both.) And if he refuses to see the womenz because of their scandalous parts, what does he do about examining penises and giving men prostate exams?

    • allisonjayne

      August 20, 2014 at 10:46 am

      What do you a call a doctor who graduated at the bottom of their class?

      Doctor.

    • Quinn Skye

      August 20, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      Ba dum —

      Oh wait 🙁

    • allisonjayne

      August 21, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Ha. Isn’t it like the worst joke? It’s like, “Hahaha yeah!…oh. Damn”.

    • SarahJesness

      August 20, 2014 at 11:59 am

      While digging through Half-Price Books, I came across a book on disproving evolution. The two authors were listed as an MD, and a PhD. I looked at the bit that talks about the authors… One had a major in communications and the other was an ophthalmologist. lol.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 20, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      More of those PhD level education folks! PhD level education makes you an expert in everything!

    • Linzon

      August 20, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      When I was in high school we had a substitute teacher one day who had a PhD in fairytales or something. Before then I had thought you could only get a PhD in science stuff.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 20, 2014 at 12:23 pm

      “I have a PhD!”
      “In what?”
      “Doesn’t matter! I have one, so I’m right and you’re wrong.”
      That’s how it works, right?

    • Spongeworthy

      August 20, 2014 at 12:21 pm

      Seems legit.

    • guest

      August 20, 2014 at 7:08 pm

      Well, to be fair, an ophthalmologist is an MD, with additional specialized training for his/her field. Not sure how a PhD in communications helps much though.

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      Let me tell you, by the time an ophthalmologist finishes their training in their speciality of choice, they have forgotten 95% of the rest of medicine. So unless they are talking about eyeballs, they really aren’t an expert 😛

    • Guest

      August 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      What do you call an M.D. who graduates at the bottom of his class?

      Doctor.

  3. keelhaulrose

    August 20, 2014 at 8:17 am

    What’s he a doctor in? Because no real doctor would vote to ban feeding babies liquid gold. (Yeah, I used that phrase in a serious convo).

    • Spongeworthy

      August 20, 2014 at 8:28 am

      I’m sure he’s fine with them feeding them breast milk…as long as they don’t leave the house. I mean, why are those women leaving the house anyway? There’s laundry to be done and sandwiches to be made.

    • Jennie Blair

      August 20, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Plus “life outside my kitchen is so bright and scary” – thank you family guy

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      omg I almost peed a little

  4. keelhaulrose

    August 20, 2014 at 8:23 am

    His constituents need to vote him out and replace him with whatever stripper thought up the counter protest. Because I kind of love them right now. She could campaign topless on the slogan “because boobs”.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 8:31 am

      She’d get elected so fast. Boobs are awesome.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 9:42 am

      I’m feeling a lot of love for those ladies. And really if anyone has a problem with their counter-protest they could just stage a counter-counter-protest in which men walk around shirtless and show off their man boobs. Now THAT would be offensive!

    • Ezzy666

      August 20, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      If they really want to get rid of the strippers they should start offering free topless lap dances at the church. Of course I have no idea what the congregation looks like so it might not work.

    • Guest

      August 20, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      I am offended regularly in the summer with men walking down streets shirtless. It seems so strange to me to say ” got to go to the grocery store, think on my walk there i’ll take my shirt off”. WTH? (not actually offended but it’s weird to do things like that shirtless)

  5. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    August 20, 2014 at 8:30 am

    My head hurts. I can’t handle this much crazy this early in the morning. I just…can’t.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 8:45 am

      Alright, I’ve ingested some caffeine and I have thoughts. THOUGHTS, FOLKS.

      So you may want to grab some snacks or at least a chair.

      I am very much done with the idea that women’s bodies are inherently dirty and shameful. I am done with this idea on multiple levels, and I am seriously sickened that a physician–a physician!–is contributing to furthering the myth that breasts are contaminated. A physician should know better.

      A physician should understand that our breasts are a natural part of our bodies, and that grasping that–and really believing it!–is crucial to women’s health. By alienating parts of ourselves, we put that health at risk. To see a physician–and a male one at that–perpetuating the idea that breasts are something to hide and be ashamed of is disturbing.Catching breast cancer in the early stages–I or II–means the differences between a 100% or 93% survival rate and a 72% survival rate (at Stage III) or a 22% survival rate (at stage IV). And I believe, to the very core of my being, that being comfortable with our bodies is crucial to women feeling comfortable doing a monthly self exam (if you aren’t, you should be!!! You can shoot me an email at [email protected] if you want some resources on the topic; I also run a monthly reminder system for my friends, so if you’d like a reminder, I can add you!), and monthly self exams are crucial because you don’t know what it feels like when something is wrong if you don’t know what it feels like normally, regularly, all the time.

      So yes, as a feminist, I am appalled philosophically that anyone would be so disturbed by the human form. I’m also appalled at the blatant sexism–I once ran my dog over with a vacuum because I caught a glance of my husband mowing the lawn in a sleeveless shirt, my poor dog is traumatized, but I have a feeling that everyone would laugh me silly if I tried to outlaw men wearing sleeveless shirt or going shirtless. Why is it acceptable to attempt to do the same to females?

      But it’s truly the health implications that get me, because those are indisputable. Making breasts dirty is bad for women. I’m going to keep stomping the ground and shouting about how WE SHOULD ALL LOVE OUR BOOBIES AND TOUCH THEM ALL THE TIME because it’s so important for women to get the message and to feel comfortable. It should be like brushing your teeth, or taking a shower–just another part of the routine.

      I’m just…I can’t with this. I can’t.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 20, 2014 at 10:14 am

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 10:49 am

      Hear, hear!!

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      I wish I had a boobie gif to follow this with. But instead, YAY BOOBIES!!

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      Seriously, they are awesome, aren’t they?

    • Katherine Handcock

      August 20, 2014 at 8:45 am

      I was just thinking, “Really, Mommyish editorial staff? This is what you’re leading with today?”

      Just kidding, guys, I love what you do. But this is a bit of a stretch when my brain still needs caffeine.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 8:48 am

      It very nearly broke my brain. I had to apply caffeine quickly to prevent permanent damage.

  6. Elissa

    August 20, 2014 at 8:41 am

    What a jackhole.

  7. B

    August 20, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Yeah, well, I don’t want to see moobs in public. But you don’t see me trying to write a law to make men wear a damn shirt on the beach.

    • whiteroses

      August 20, 2014 at 8:53 am

      Even though some of them really, really, really should.

      I live near a popular beach. Can I tell you how many times I’ve seen shirtless men who really shouldn’t be?

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:29 pm

      Or itty bitty speedos??? YUCK 😛

    • whiteroses

      August 20, 2014 at 10:25 pm

      Yeah. Eye bleach needs to happen yesterday. Trust me on this.

  8. Hibbie

    August 20, 2014 at 8:46 am

    Well I shouldn’t be exposed to jackasses against my will. What are you going to do about that, Dr. Johnston?

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Can he outlaw himself?

    • Hibbie

      August 20, 2014 at 9:01 am

      I certainly hope so. Or maybe the greater medical community can.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 20, 2014 at 9:04 am

      We should start a petition.

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      August 20, 2014 at 9:39 am

      #stumblingblock

  9. Katherine Handcock

    August 20, 2014 at 8:47 am

    I presume he’s also going to outlaw all the ads, magazine covers, etc. that feature topless women? I’m sure he’ll get a lot of support for THAT! 😉

    Actually, I just found the perfect loophole! Women breastfeeding aren’t topless — their tops are still on. Of course, MEN without shirts are definitely topless….

    • keelhaulrose

      August 20, 2014 at 10:10 am

      Cover the moobs!!!

  10. 2Well

    August 20, 2014 at 8:57 am

    He never evolved beyond the girls-are-icky stage.

    Plus his gay pride fixation is very strong. And there’s Alex Lee’s quote about me not getting much good sex to consider.

    Prediction: hiding in the closet.

  11. Alex Lee

    August 20, 2014 at 8:57 am

    He seems to be on the brink of tears in that photo.

    “The gay pride parade in Columbus is 500,000 strong – why? Because the
    women go topless,” he insisted on Facebook. “This is the only one where
    I’ve seen this level of nudity. San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, D.C.
    I have never seen the kind of public lewdness I have seen in Columbus,
    Ohio.”

    He also seems quite consumed with gay pride parades – witnessing them in several metropolitan cities across the nation.

    He’s a physician AND A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR.

    From his own blog http://www.johnstonfamilyministry.com/article/ten-ways-rock-your-wifes-world :

    “Let’s be like Christ, and stop worrying about our rights and needs and
    begin to consume ourselves with meeting the needs of our spouse. You
    will find that God, in His infinite wisdom, has so wired the male-female
    connections that the quickest way to get your own cup filled is to meet
    your wife’s needs until her cup runneth over! (What do you have to
    lose? It’s not like many of you are getting much good sex anyway!)”

    After NINE kids, one of the needs of your spouse wasn’t ever breastfeeding in public?

    My marriage is stronger than boobs.

    • Lisa

      August 20, 2014 at 9:29 am

      I’ve got news for him-the reason we’ve reached that “level of nudity” in Columbus is because everyone is legally allowed to be publicly topless. Although I really want to know where he’s going in Columbus, because after living here for 7 years, I can guarantee that the number of man boobs I’ve seen far outweighs the number of women’s boobs.

      The pride parade is also strong because Columbus is considered to be a gay-friendly city. And seriously-last year the marshall was George Takei. Thank goodness he wasn’t in Cleveland recently when the Gay Games were going on-I don’t know if he could handle that level of acceptance.

      This guy needs to see his own physician, as I strongly suspect he’s suffering from cranium-rectum inversion.

    • Lisa

      August 20, 2014 at 9:30 am

      Also, this guy is pretty much the example of why I will only live in the cities or immediate environs while living in Ohio. But I feel like that be true no matter where I live.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 9:49 am

      Err, what now? Jesus wasn’t worried about our rights? I think he might want to go read the New Testament again…

    • JenH1986

      August 20, 2014 at 10:14 am

      Who isn’t getting good sex? If he isn’t getting good sex he needs to see a marriage counselor.

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 10:35 am

      Wait, wait, wait, wait…

      This man thinks GAY MEN go to pride …because boobies?*

      I mean, I thought that being pro-life and anti-feeding a live child was enough of a logical head-scratch, but this guy’s an overachiever.

      * yeah, I’m aware pride isn’t just for gay men, but ours (which is kind of big–we call it “the Holidays”) is majority gay men, so I’m still sort of weirded out by the comment. I mean, sure, maybe *I* notice our local coffee shop has turns into shirtless heaven for a weekend, so maybe my husband’s into lesbian tits, but I kind of doubt it. Pretty sure he’d go buy a Playboy or watch GoT if he was really that starved to see breasts.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 20, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      I’m just wondering what the heck he was doing at Pride. Besides staring at boobies.
      His whole rant makes me want to go to Columbus Pride, btw. You know, for research purposes.

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 12:20 pm

      Well, you know the most searched entry on Conservapedia is supposedly “homosexuality.”

      (that’s been disputed though–I think that the consensus is that ‘homosexuality’ is the 3rd most popular entry…but still.)

    • ted3553

      August 20, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      they are just searching for friends

    • Ezzy666

      August 20, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      He was ministering to the lost souls. Kind of like when the preacher visits the brothel.

    • Rachel Sea

      August 20, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      If he hasn’t seen public nudity at SF Pride, then he needs a smaller protest sign, because it’s blocking his view.

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      As a medical student, I worked with an MD (family doc) that told me over lunch, how birth control MAKES men devalue women (not a fault of the man himself, all because of a pill) and how Natural Family Planning is really a panacea to all relationship ills. He then told me my impending marriage to an athiest (as a Catholic gal) was destined to fail because “scripture said so” (I paraphrase)….there are nuts everywhere!

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      Further more, if my marriage fails, it’s because he and I suck at communicating (among other NON-RELIGIOUS issues….yes, we’re in counselling). AND to top it off….

      What do you call people that practise natural family planning???

      Parents.

  12. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    August 20, 2014 at 8:59 am

    This guy is making me eye-twitchy too early in the morning.

  13. JenH1986

    August 20, 2014 at 9:03 am

    There is so much stupid going on in this I don’t even know where to start. I’m going to need Maria to post these sooner in the AM so I can get my rage buzz going before my caffeine.

    • Maria Guido

      August 20, 2014 at 10:08 am

      You just reminded me I need about a gallon more coffee to get through today.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 11:36 am

      WHY did I read that?!? I got to “The gun control policies of the public school system are almost as deadly as their Planned Parenthood-sponsored sex education classes.” And then I blacked out.

    • Guinevere

      August 20, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      I wonder how he feels about boobs that shoot bullets, as previously discussed?

  14. Sara610

    August 20, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Where did this guy get the notion that going out in public means you should be guaranteed not to see anything that offends or disturbs you?
    Look, part of functioning in a society made up of human beings is that when you go out in public, you can’t control what you’re going to see. If you see something that bothers or offends you, show a little self-control and look away. Unless the item being displayed is inciting violence or unlawful discrimination, you don’t get to use your personal comfort level as a yardstick to measure what other people are allowed to do, say or wear.

    • ted3553

      August 20, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      when I’m in public and see 2 people (ususally teens) chewing each others faces off, it grosses me out and I make a face and walk on by not start an idiotic crusade

  15. Jem

    August 20, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Me thinks this guy protests boobs in general a little too much…

    • Maria Guido

      August 20, 2014 at 10:07 am

      Exactly.

  16. Williwaw

    August 20, 2014 at 9:16 am

    The fact that this guy is a physician is especially creepy. I don’t think I’d be comfortable being examined by someone who thought any body part was inherently icky. Also, what the hell does gay pride have to do with female strippers? Why not throw in some global warming while you’re at it?

    • Sara610

      August 20, 2014 at 9:21 am

      RIGHT?! My dad, grandfather and several cousins, aunts and uncles are all physicians, with specialties ranging from oncology to general surgery to genetics. It’s not that doctors leave their humanity (and that includes attraction to whatever sex) at the door, but in order to practice medicine effectively, you HAVE TO be able to put those personal feelings aside.

      If I found out that my doctor found the female body so offensive that he wanted to outlaw visible breasts, including nursing mothers, I would have some serious doubts about his ability to provide quality, professional medical care.
      What if I came to him with a concern about a lump in my breast, or a troublesome gynecological symptom? If he can’t even show the self-control to look away from a nursing mother, I don’t trust him to be able to put his personal feelings aside and focus on providing the best care possible.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 9:54 am

      Yes, I imagine he has to excuse himself from conducting breast exams lest he find himself involuntarily motor-boating his patient.

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:25 pm

      OMG the giggles

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 10:47 am

      In all honesty, it doesn’t surprise me THAT much. Medicine, traditionally, has been a male-dominated field and misogyny is very much alive. As a patient, I can attest to male doctors treating me…not outright disrespectfully, but with that kind of “male blindness.” My friends who are female doctors also report that they’ve all had male patients who frequently and aggressively challenge their medical opinions, which they suspect would not be the case if they were men.

      (I have a friend who is an oral surgeon–as she put it, “If a female doctor is holding a malfunctioning drill, it’s because she doesn’t know how to use it. When a male doctor is holding a malfunctioning drill, it’s because the drill is malfunctioning.

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      You know, it goes both ways. I am challenged (as a lady doctor) by patients of both sexes.
      But, if I must be honest, I prefer a male doctor (that I know and trust) to do a gyne exam as I find them gentler than females since, and I quote “I don’t know what this feels like, let me know if I’m hurting you” vs another female doc…I gasped when she pinched a rather tender area in a metal device “oh it’s not that bad”. And I like to think I’m not too much of a wuss 😛

  17. Obladi Oblada

    August 20, 2014 at 10:14 am

    I find it incredibly hilarious (as in I have tears in my eyes and I’m glad I’m in my office with the door shut) that the longest standing gay/lesbian bar in my hometown is named…wait for it…NEW BEGINNINGS.

    • brebayVadgeBadge

      August 20, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      Dear lord, in college I worked at a day care called that, I wonder if it closed and these guys just wanted to save money on the signage…

  18. K.

    August 20, 2014 at 10:58 am

    “Do it this way, do it that way, okay if you have a cover; not okay without one, okay if you do it here but not there, okay if there are no innocent children in the room, not okay if people are eating, not okay if you’re over a B-cup, do it in the car but don’t do it in the front seat, use the bathroom but don’t use the bathroom if you’re going to be taking up the one available stall, do it ‘discreetly,’ don’t ‘shove it in my face,’ don’t do it anyplace crowded, don’t do it if you suspect someone in the room is a pervert or a pedophile or a guy whose marriage is on the skids, or on the subway, a bus, a train, face the other way, face the floor, face the wall…”

    …Don’t other people realize how silly that all sounds? Why would anyone worry their pretty little heads over this shit? Just let the ladies feed the babies. Sheesh.

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 11:09 am

      I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere!

    • Ezzy666

      August 20, 2014 at 11:16 am

      You do not like them.
      SO you say.
      Try them! Try them!
      And you may.
      Try them and you may I say.

      Just be sure to ask for permission first.

    • K.

      August 20, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Oh you two are making a rage morning very sassy indeed.

    • Katherine Handcock

      August 20, 2014 at 11:57 am

      I’m dying. Keep going!

  19. ashlec

    August 20, 2014 at 11:33 am

    Ugh to all of this. I was shamed for public bf’ing this week for the first time ever by my own stupid family. My dad called a couple days ago to pretty much intervention me about how I need to be ‘more discreet’ in feeding my newborn and that in the South (where we live) you have to cover up. My first son was born in Australia (where my husband’s from), so he acted like he was really shedding some light on an issue I might not have considered, because I’m just some slutty heathen with no respect for other people’s comfort.

    Basically my dad’s wife and my brother have been talking shit behind my back because I’ve had the nerve to bf my baby in their general vicinity with no cover and my dad felt the need to confront/embarrass the shit out of me about it. My brother’s words were ‘I support breastfeeding and I love you, but I just don’t want to see your boobs.’ This coming from a man whose very-large-chested wife wears incredibly revealing tops and sometimes no bra at all and no one’s ever said a thing.

    I’m having a really hard time with it, because if it were some stranger, like this idiot in the article, I’d just say ‘fuck off, buddy’ and go about my day. But this is my family. My mom passed away a few years ago, so they’re kind of all I’ve got and now I have to feel guilty and uncomfortable caring for my child around them because my cleavage makes them feel icky.

    • Katherine Handcock

      August 20, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      I had a friend in a similar position, and she was honest that it sucks. Her solution was to keep doing what she’d been doing, and when they complained again, her response was: “If you don’t want me to do this at your house, I won’t be coming to your house again until the baby weans. Oh, and if you come to my house, it’s my house, so I will be nursing. Your call.” To her surprise, her family members (mom and an aunt) backed off pretty fast. The downside is that you have to be prepared to accept it if they say, “Well, then I guess you’re not coming over” which isn’t something everyone feels that they can do.

      I’m sorry it’s turned into such an issue for you. It’s awful when you have to feel uncomfortable around the people who should be your support.

    • ashlec

      August 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      Thanks for saying that. It’s nice to get support from someone, even if it is an Internet stranger!

      That’s just the worst part of it. If it were random people in a store being rude about it, I’d be upset but at the end of the day, their opinions don’t really matter. But my dad and my brother know me and know I’m trying to get used to being the mother of a newborn and a toddler and rather than giving me a fucking break, they add their comfort level as yet another thing on the list of stuff I currently have to worry about. All these anti-public breastfeeding folks can focus on is their own precious emotions, not the woman who’s trying to feed her kid and still live a reasonably normal life the best way she knows how. I hate the implication that a person’s discomfort over breastfeeding automatically outweighs any other option.

    • nikki753

      August 20, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      Maybe tell them that part exactly. “Rather than giving me a fucking break, they add their comfort level as yet another thing on the list.” It’s a lot harder when it’s your family. So I’d do what Katherine said. Lay it out there for them. “Here’s the deal, I get that you feel weird seeing any part of your sister/daughter’s breast but I have a toddler to chase and a baby to feed. I’m willing to let you know when I’m getting ready to nurse and you can walk away or avert your eyes but that’s the deal. If it embarrasses you in public I guess we won’t go out in public together until the baby is weaned. But cut me a break and don’t sit around gossiping as soon as I’m out of earshot.” Chin up. You got this.

    • ashlec

      August 20, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      Thanks, y’all! It’s nice to talk to people who get it (besides my husband, he’s been supportive.) I just need to get a bit braver and defend myself. Part of the issue with my dad and brother is that my SIL and my dad’s new wife both bf’d, but I guess must have either been really crazy about always covering up or just pumped a lot and fed their kids with bottles while they were out, so there’s the whole ‘Well, my wife was able to bf without being disgusting and exposing herself, so you should too’ rhetoric to the whole thing.

    • Katherine Handcock

      August 20, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      It’s not something any mom of a newborn should have to deal with, especially from family. I mean, you’ve got enough adjusting to do without doing that foolishness. Hang in there! It all gets better. And honestly, a lot more fun – my kids are 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 and I have more fun with them every day 🙂

    • EX

      August 20, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      That really sucks. My family is luckily supportive but my husband’s family is super conservative. I usually try to use a cover around them but it totally sucks that I can’t just relax and feed the damn baby any way I choose when they’re around. It doesn’t help either that my daughter hates the cover and loves to pull it off – boobs everywhere! Anyway, it sucks when you can’t relax and do you without feeling judged when you’re with the people you’re closest too.

    • ashlec

      August 21, 2014 at 9:39 am

      I’m sorry you get that from your husband’s family, too. It just adds another thing to have to worry about when having young kids is already hard enough. I think I’m just having a difficult time with it because my mom’s not here. She never breastfed and might have been kind of freaked out by my public bf’ing, but I think she would have at least listened to me and respected my reasons. Right now I just feel like it’s me against two clueless men and my dad’s new wife, who thinks that the way she raised her kid is how everyone everywhere should do it. Like, she thinks it’s insane my two year old goes to bed at 8pm and that he has a nap during the day, because kids that age should be able to ‘sleep anywhere,’ so we should be able to go out all day and stay out at night like she used to with her daughter. So if she tells my dad that I should be covering up when I feed my baby, then by God, that’s what I should be doing.

    • kittymom

      August 20, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      I am so sorry. That is complete and utter bullshit. BF a lovely infant does NOT equal cleavage exposure. If they are so stupid and narrow-minded that “breasts = sex” and they choose to give you grief, take solace in the fact that SO many of us (non moms included!) support you.
      Also, if they equate boobies with sex, (I hope this doesn’t offend you) and they don’t harass your SIL for showing cleavage…your dad enjoys admiring her cleav or he would say something. Ick 😉

    • ashlec

      August 21, 2014 at 8:21 am

      Haha, oh my god, it doesn’t offend me at all. It’s just hilarious, because my dad HATES my SIL. Like, if murder were somehow legal, he would partake. I think they just don’t say anything because, you know, boobs are a-okay to be shown off through skimpy tank tops and to sell beer and Doritos. My dad gets the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition every year and will have it out on his coffee table. But because I’m his daughter and my boobs are being used to feed a child, that’s something to be ashamed of.

  20. Warren Pacholzuk

    August 20, 2014 at 11:52 am

    I suggest they arrange to fill the church one Sunday with nothing but breastfeeding mothers.

  21. brebayVadgeBadge

    August 20, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    breastfeeding = man rape.

  22. brebayVadgeBadge

    August 20, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    So I guess we’ll be banning billboards, magazine ads, and commercials for beer where women are exposing just as much boob as breastfeeding mothers are. Can’t a poor guy even drive down the Interstate without being forced against his will to see boob!!?? WHO WILL THINK OF THE MEN?!?!?!?!?

  23. brebayVadgeBadge

    August 20, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    So he’s graduated from wanting to control women’s uteri to wanting to control their boobs too…promotion!

  24. wispy

    August 20, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    Boobs promote gay pride?? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  25. Em

    August 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    He needs to sit down ans STFU and worry about his OWN uterus only- and breasts for that matter too.

  26. Rachel Sea

    August 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Fine, but only if men have to wear bikini tops at the pool.

  27. Kelly

    August 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    “I am sick that women can legally bare their breasts to children and to married men against their will in Ohio,” he wrote on his Facebook page following last week’s protest.

    Dude, my child LOVED seeing my exposed breast. Just sayin’.

    • brebayVadgeBadge

      August 20, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      So I guess it’s okay to breastfeed in a singles bar.

  28. Rowan

    August 20, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Omigod put your boobs away you DISGUSTING HARLOT!!!

  29. ted3553

    August 20, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    It really sounds like hiding breasts will basically rid the world of all evils. Burqas for everyone!

    • Lackadaisical

      August 20, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      Why would we need burqas? That implies women are allowed to leave the house and that sounds sinfully independent.

    • brebayVadgeBadge

      August 20, 2014 at 9:03 pm

      I’m telling you. They’re on it. No one believes me about these things…they terrify me…the conspiracy is real.

  30. Lackadaisical

    August 20, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    Dear Father Christmas, please, please, please can a Photoshoptastic elf edit an image of him to add exposed lady’s breasts and spread it everywhere. I think he would be overcome with vapours at the idea and take to his best pearl clutching chaise longue for a week. I would try to stay on the nice list for a whole three days to earn it.

  31. Quinn Skye

    August 20, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    He LOOKS like an idiot. Just look at that idiotic smile. Ugh.

    I’m offended. IDIOT BAN.

  32. WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

    August 20, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    OK, Dr. Mammophobe, is this what you see when you look upon a mother feeding her child? Because I kinda think it is. I kinda think you might be a little confused.

  33. Spitting_mad

    August 20, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    The guy has his church members take pictures of the people entering the strip club, write down their plate numbers, post them online, and call people names.

    He’s lucky people haven’t left dick prints on the church windows. He certainly deserves it. Hell, I think using my vagina as a hand puppet on his pulpet would be a noble reason to get arrested.

  34. Mr. Snarktopus

    August 20, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    Dear Dr. Turd-In-Punch-Bowl,

    Dude, don’t ruin it for the rest of us.

    Sincerely,
    Guys Everywhere

    Letter aside, it looks like I should be attending more Pride Parades. Y’know, to gawk at all of the RIGHTS.

    [/Snark]

  35. Kathryn Mackenzie

    August 20, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    If God hasn’t personally dropped by to tell me he’s offended by my behaviour, I’m just going to believe he’s fine with whatever I’ve been doing.
    Also, yay boobs!

    • brebayVadgeBadge

      August 20, 2014 at 8:58 pm

      If god had wanted breastfeeding moms to cover up, he would have made our hair hang down our fronts, not our backs

  36. Pingback: Breastfeeding Moms Stage Nurse In At Anthropologie

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