I Can Never Go To Disney World Because I Have To Buy Stupid Junk Like Groceries

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Disney World Is Not Cheap I want to go to Disney World! I want to go to there.

I know many people have never gotten to go to Disney World and I am lucky because I have been a few times but I want to go there. Now. Because I don’t think parents can have an actual relaxing vacation anywhere else. And I want a Dole Whip. And I want to go see the Tiki Birds. And I want to go have one of those Bluezoo mojitos made with rum, rock candy and lime foam. And I want to ride The Haunted House many times in a row and stay at a Disney World resort with one of those super awesome kid’s rooms where you can take your kid and they get to make super cute crafts with you. But because my disaster house is still a disaster and I have to spend all my monies buying stupid stuff like garbage disposals and backsplash tiles and everyday stupid necessities like groceries to feed these people who live with me and I will never be able to go.

Yeah, yeah I know! Everyone is broke and many people are struggling to buy medications they need and pay their electric bills and buy stuff kids need like shoes but can’t we all just collectively whine about how we can’t afford to go on vacation at present in order to make each other feel better? I know this is all big ‘ol first world problems and we are very lucky to be alive and well but I still want to be on vacation right now. And I want to be on vacation in a place with sterile yet beautifully art-directed landscaping and bright colors and happy people wearing unfortunate footwear and buffet restaurants that aren’t scary at all and actually have pretty decent food and feature surprise guests like princesses and giant mice.

My spouse hates Disney World. He thinks it is tacky.His idea of a family vacation is going to a far-away city where we have to spend a gazillion dollars on an overpriced designer hotel room which is tiny and drag the kids to museums and I get to amuse them by listening to them complain about how there are no decent cartoons on the hotel television. He doesn’t really understand that I can’t relax unless my kids are exhausted from a day traipsing in the park and are happily playing on a prefabricated beach while I have an adult beverage and the only time I speak to them is to tell them it’s time to apply more sunscreen.

Maybe I’ll start putting a little bit of money away so I can take the kids in a year or two, but I need some damn magic right now. I know there are times of the year that are more reasonable to go and that they offer times when you get a free dining plan and all that, but right now all I can afford is the occasional movie matinee with all of these people I live with.  Feel free to tell me all about the vacations you are taking or not taking or where you wish you could be right now. Maybe I’ll buy some damn Donald Duck orange juice in order to feel better.

(Photo: Wikipedia)


  1. Guerrilla Mom

    April 25, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Just leave the kids at home, come stay with me and we’ll go drink Bluezoo mojitos (which sounds pretty gross, but I’m still game.)

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 10:36 am

      brb packing

    • Guerrilla Mom

      April 25, 2013 at 11:23 am


    • Alex Lee

      April 25, 2013 at 10:38 am

      I can confirm that Bluezoo refers only to the name of the estabilshment. The mojitos themselves are not colored blue. And they are the best mojitos on the planet Earth.

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 10:48 am

      They really, really, really are.

    • Guerrilla Mom

      April 25, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Now I must have one.

    • A. Levy

      April 25, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      Can I join you for wine flights in Germany, Italy, and France?

    • Guerrilla Mom

      April 25, 2013 at 4:07 pm


  2. Alisande F

    April 25, 2013 at 10:21 am

    Really feel you on this one, Eve. Especially since the kids have already started asking what we’re doing during their summer break, which starts in July.

    “Um, I’m pretty much sticking with the 60 hour weeks… ask your Dad?”

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 10:36 am

      and then the whole school summer programs brochures arrive, and they are all $500 for a week, for cool junk like ROBOTICS camp. I can’t afford that noise!

    • Alisande F

      April 25, 2013 at 10:52 am

      And there’s always part of you that’s like, “maybe I should have sold the TV just so they’d leave the house!” Why don’t they leave the house unless it’s for an organised activity?!

      (I know the answer to this. They’ve been brought up thinking going outside is too dangerous unless at least one adult and two dogs are flanking them. So they stay in exposing themselves to online danger and too much TV. Sigh…)

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 11:04 am

      we need to start yammering about how we were as kids.. do you remember EVER being home in the summer? It was all sticky popsicle mouths and skinned knees and sprinklers and kick the can until our parents yelled at us to come in. I was NEVER inside as a kid. all I wanted to do was play outside.

    • Alisande F

      April 25, 2013 at 11:14 am

      I know! I grew up in the country so it was fields and exploring and bike rides, and it was great for me cos even though I have never been remotely co-ordinated enough for sports, i was always outdoorsy. Even now, a rock climbing and adventure holiday sounds like the most fun ever.

      My step-kids meanwhile have been told “there are bad people everywhere” from birth. Doesn’t exactly foster independence.

    • Justme

      April 26, 2013 at 11:01 pm

      The best part of summer was when my parents finally realized I was old enough to stay home by myself. I figured out how to unlock the parental block on MTV (the Real World had unmarried men and women living together, you know), laid out by the pool all afternoon and then scrambled last minute to finish the list of chores my mom had left for me.

  3. LiteBrite

    April 25, 2013 at 10:31 am

    I want to go to Disney World too. Well, let me rephrase that. I would like to take our son to Disney World while the magic is still real to him and before he gets to an age where he thinks everything is lame. DH, however, would rather be covered in grout and forced to listen to a marathon of Abba songs (his personal hell) before going to Disney World. Disney World embodies the two things he dislikes the most: people and spending money.

    However, this year we plan to have the mortgage paid off (yay!), and I told him that next year I want to take a family vacation. He is almost ready to agree.

    I may go to Key West in a few months with some of the ladies in the meantime.

    (End of First-World-Problems rant.)

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 10:35 am

      Ha! I hear ya. I feel bad bitching about wanting a vacation but I really want one. Oooo Key West!

  4. Alex Lee

    April 25, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Just returned from 11-days in Greece, with a 4-day cruise through the Mediterranean. A lot of the stops were heavily-focused on Christianity (Ephesus, Rhodes, Patmos) and ancient relics (Parthenon).

    My children were not amused. Absolutely no television, and to make matters worse, the cruise ship had European outlets – no laptops, tablets, even the camera battery died before the trip end.

    Sure, they enjoyed the food, meeting new people, seeing a different culture and history, and we had some laughs, but we could all tell that they’d prefer the hospitality of The Mouse.

    So we’re also planning a Disney Cruise in November. One of the benefits is, at dinnertime, they’ll seat you at the restaurant and take your kids’ orders first. They get served while the parents peruse the menu. The kids finish and then Disney TAKES THEM OFF YOUR HANDS to go play while you and your spouse can finish your dinner in peace.

    Frickin’ geniuses.

    My dream vacation, still, is to get to Japan and play a gigantic Odaiko drum.

    I think we should start a SuperPac/Kickstarter for you to be mayor of Tarpon Springs (It’s Greece in Florida, don’t you know?). We can call it: Sharkmoms Against Rape Culture And Sloppy Mothering (S.A.R.C.A.S.M)

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 11:05 am

      OMG and OMG acronym and OMG Greece. I am so jealous. And jealous of your cruise. I am currently terrified of all cruises but amazingly jealous anyway.

  5. Justme

    April 25, 2013 at 11:25 am

    I have to be honest, am I the only person to which a Disney vacation sounds like an awful nightmare? Large crowds of people, kids out of their minds on sugar and excitement, lots of lines and an awful humid heat? No thanks. I always wondered why my parents didn’t take me to Disney as a kid, now as an adult I understand.

    • chickadee

      April 25, 2013 at 11:42 am

      No. You aren’t. I don’t want to sound htt to anyone who enjoys Mr. Disney’s Version of the World, because my daughters went with their dad and had a good time and I still respect them and love them, but I don’t love it at all. That man planned a special surprise vacation during our marriage that ended up with us spending 12 days there as a romantic trip, and I did not enjoy it. Screaming children, cartoon characters, humidity, fake this, artificial that…but then again, I don’t like resorts, cruises, or vacations where stuff is planned for you in advance, so DW is clearly wrong for me.

      But I love and respect lots of people who love DW and DL. I respect all of you guys who want to go, but I don’t think I’ve known you well enough to love you yet.

    • LiteBrite

      April 25, 2013 at 1:50 pm

      Yeah, I would not want to go to DW for a “romantic trip.” With my son? Yeah, I could handle it for awhile for his sake. But on just a trip with me and DH? Uh, hell NO.

    • A. Levy

      April 25, 2013 at 2:23 pm

      I love going to DW, but 12 days is too long to spend in any 1 place. My husband and I did have a fun DAY (singular day), but it was at Epcot, so it was mostly drinking.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      April 26, 2013 at 7:59 am

      Well if anyone is spending 12 days at DW, I hope that she means 12 days in Orlando and not all 12 days at DW. As a native of Fl. there is tons to do in and around Orlando that has nothing to do with Disney.

    • chickadee

      April 26, 2013 at 12:21 pm

      Noooooooo. 12 days, on site. All Disney, all the time.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      April 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm

      oh my gawd. That is just too much Disney. I’m sorry.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      April 26, 2013 at 7:57 am

      I think it is the “artificialinish” (is that even a word?) of Disney. I just prefer some realism. I don’t mind if things are not perfect, as long as it isn’t fake. Disney just does not understand that.

    • msenesac

      April 25, 2013 at 12:04 pm

      No, you aren’t. I have a fb friend who counts down the days until her and her husband and kids go on their YEARLY trip to Disney. That sounds like hell to me.

    • Justme

      April 25, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      And that is a LOT of frickin planning. I briefly got on the site just to price and scope things out and had to take a Xanax to come down from the anxiety attack. There is SO much to do and if you’re only going once, you feel like you have to do everything! Yikes!!

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 12:28 pm

      It can be exactly like that. I like to go sort of off season, hit the park early before lines and heat are long, go back to to hotel and swim and relax, and maybe go back in a bit for the evening. Plus, the fake Epcot Japan has some really cool robot toys

    • Justme

      April 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm

      My husband and I are teachers…if we ever go, we’ll be hitting it up exactly when everyone else does.

    • Surfaces

      April 26, 2013 at 7:25 am

      That’s our holidays at Disney to a t!

    • LiteBrite

      April 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm

      No you’re not. I don’t really WANT to go to DW; however, having taken a couple of more adult-oriented vacations, I’d like to take our son somewhere that is geared more towards him. But if he finds out there are princesses there, trust me; the vacation is OFF. 🙂

    • Courtney Lynn

      April 25, 2013 at 10:07 pm

      My parents took us when we were little. They can still tell us very vividly about the nightmarish crowds.

  6. Melody

    April 25, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    We are planning a trip to Disney World and I am freaking out. My son has severe allergies both food and otherwise, and I have to basically keep him in a sterile environment and make all of his meals from scratch and this will be the first time we are taking this shit on the road. In an RV. With 3 small chldren. And I’m not sure what I’m going to feed him, and how many dr’s notes I will need to bring all of my own food and such into the park, and this feels like a really bad idea. But then my son is all excited to go to “Mickey-World”, and he says it in his little kid voice so it comes how “Mickey-Weld” and my heart melts. So I will of course take him, even though I’m having anxiety attacks and packing nebulizers, and 5 different kinds of benadryl, and fuck it – the whole kitchen’s coming. The worst part? I don’t drink so there’s no mojito at the end of the tunnel. 🙁

    • A. Levy

      April 25, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      Melody, have you contacted Guest Services or Disney Dining? They are usually very accomodating and have handled just about everything. They are there to help, and special needs assistance is usually free. Also, you don’t need a doctor’s note to bring food into the park. We always bring sandwiches & snacks in a cooler, and we don’t have allergies. We’re just cheap.

    • Melody

      April 25, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Thank you, you have made me hopeful. I haven’t contacted guest services yet because we literally just decided to do this a few days ago and haven’t even decided on dates. I had only heard horror stories from people being told ‘no outside food or drink’ so I was preparing for the worst. I’m glad that they aren’t super strict about it, I am significantly more optimistic now.

    • koolchicken

      April 26, 2013 at 12:09 am

      I can’t have gluten, yet a Disney vacation is one of my favorites. A big reason for that is because I can eat anywhere. When you get in the park go straight to City Hall and tell them what your son can’t have. They’ll give you a print out with every resturant in the park with a list of everything that’s safe in each location. I’ve never gotten sick. Also it’s a rule that if a resturant is in Disney property they have to accomadate special diets so you’re safe to eat in Downtown Disney too. As for no outside food and drinks, never had a problem or heard of anyone being turned away- and I’ve been countless times over the years. If someone tells you they were turned away they’re leaving something out of the story.

    • koolchicken

      April 26, 2013 at 2:50 am

      One other thing. Before I opted to elope I was planning a Disney wedding, paid the deposit and everything. The reason I picked a theme park over my home in Hawaii? So many of my family members have allergies and other issues and I knew Disney could handle it. They think everyone deserves to have a good time, not just “normal” people- and they go out of their way to ensure their guests have that. Also, my sister is 26 and has always had to take her nebulizer with her, hasn’t slowed her down yet. 😉

    • Shelly Lloyd

      April 26, 2013 at 8:04 am

      I’m just going to second what A. Levy has said, call ahead and explain what your son’s allergies are. Usually Disney is more than willing to work with you if you give them a heads up.

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 3:09 pm

      SUCH a good idea, I am sure they will know tons of stuff. all I know is that the Disney customer service is sort of insane great and they will probably love to offer help and advice

    • Véronique Houde

      April 25, 2013 at 11:45 pm

      yeah i actually remember my dad telling me about his friend’s 4 year old getting pooped on in the park, and all of a sudden this guest services lady just pops out of nowhere, starts profusely apologizing for the fact that a bird pooped on her, grabbed her by the hand, walked her into a souvenir shop, told her to pick out any shirt she wanted, and gave it to her free as an apology for not being able to control where birds poop within the park. that story makes me laugh anytime. Lesson of this entire story? If you want something free at Disney, just make sure that a bird poops on your crappy version of it 😉

    • Amber

      April 25, 2013 at 2:01 pm

      When I was a kid and we went to amusement parks, we’d pack sandwiches and drinks and snacks in a cooler and leave it in the car. Then when lunch time rolls around we’d just go have a picnic in the car. I’ve seen lots of people doing it over the years. Maybe that would make your trip a little easier.

    • Véronique Houde

      April 25, 2013 at 11:42 pm

      if it’s any consolation though, the RV park at Disney is absolutely awesome, and one of the closest to the park, which will make it practical for you guys to go back and forth between in order to grab a bite to eat.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      April 26, 2013 at 8:08 am

      Are you doing Disney world Orlando? and if so are you planing on spending the whole time at Disney? If you are looking for some other fun things to do who are allergy friendly let me know and I can call around and see what I can find.

    • Triplezmom

      April 26, 2013 at 2:19 pm

      You can bring your own food into the parks with no issues — I once saw a couple unpack an entire elaborate picnic at the Magic Kingdom. We brought snacks to save money, not that my kids wanted those snacks once they saw all the ‘magic’ food, but you won’t even need any doctors’ notes. I don’t know how it works in the resorts, but I can’t imagine they’d care either.

    • Cate

      April 28, 2013 at 1:58 am

      Melody, my family goes to DW a lot and while they may claim to be strict about bringing outside food, we always do – it’s how we can afford to go! We pack our lunches in a soft-sided cooler with a cold pack so its not like we are hiding them and we have never once had it taken away. If you have dr’s notes you should be double fine. If you are thinking of just bringing snacks into the park it will be even less trouble. Since you are in an RV, you might even want to not bring your lunch into the park but leave it in the RV and then go back and eat in the parking lot. If you do decide to bring your meals into the park though I would recommend renting a locker and stashing them until needed so you aren’t packing them around all day!

    • A. Levy

      May 21, 2013 at 11:25 am

      Melody, I ran across this today & remembered this thread. You may have already found what you needed, but here’s what I found.

  7. Cara Spinosa

    April 25, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    I’m not the biggest fan of Disney World. I’ve been twice and both times, due to circumstances of who I was with, were pretty bad. (Note: 75 year old grandparents aren’t a good choice for taking an 8 year old me to an amusement park.) This summer I will be going once more, this time because my husband is being sent on a business trip which has the company agents staying (all expenses paid, yay!) in one of the Disney resorts. I’ll be about 7 months pregnant… in Florida in August. I think I’ll put a pair of mouse ears on my stomach and stay inside in the air conditioning.

    • Eve Vawter

      April 25, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Oh man, it will storm like CRAZY then for maybe 15 minutes and make everything super muggy, and congrats on your baby! A paid for trip is AWESOME

  8. Eve Vawter

    April 25, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    why oh why did I not think of this 🙁

    • Blooming_babies

      April 25, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Also if you know anyone with a timeshare membership they can get you a big beautiful 2 bedroom condo with a kitchen near the parks for less than $500 a week. They’re called extra weeks and you just buy them along with a guest pass, I do this every time saves a fortune in food and hotel.

  9. LAwcat

    April 25, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    This is going to sound awful, but DH and are I going to DW in a couple weeks…without the kid. We both have a conference down there and are staying an extra couple days.

    Never in a million years did I think I would be hopped up to go to Disney. It has everything I hate: crowds, excessive humidity, hoards of other people’s children, the sun, Florida (I kid…). But we are seriously so excited to run around like crazy kids, get drunk in Epcot, and not having to leave for naps halfway through the day.

    • Elisha Dacey

      May 1, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Trust me – you’ll want to leave for a nap halfway through the day. It’s the only way to avoid the heat. 🙂 Have fun!

  10. AE Vorro

    April 25, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    Funny… I could definitely afford to go Disney (land or world), but will probably never be able to afford a house (and that’s without the expense of raising kids). I’d love to buy backsplash tiles and garbage disposals whatever those are… 🙂

  11. CW

    April 25, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Sometimes I feel jealous when I hear about all the fancy vacations that my friends who are employed moms can afford to take their kids on (Europe, Hawaii, the Caribbean, etc.) But I have to remind myself that we all have to make choices in life, and my choice to be a SAHM means giving up luxuries like vacations somewhere other than visiting relatives. I chose what I felt was best for my family, and while it absolutely has had many benefits, there are also some drawbacks. And I just have to suck it up and deal with those.

    • Yves

      April 30, 2013 at 1:25 am

      I work… to live. We still can’t afford vacations. Just because you work full time doesn’t mean you live some fabulous lifestyle. Just means our SO doesn’t make enough to pay the bills alone.

  12. Tea

    April 25, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    My aunt does Disney every other year and makes peanuts (Minimum wage, full time)

    I’m pretty sure it’s all credit cards or voodoo.

  13. Surfaces

    April 26, 2013 at 7:23 am

    My husband and I decided we didn’t want kids because we didn’t want to have to take kids to Disney World with us, and we probably wouldn’t be able to afford to go if we had them anyway. Now we’re happily child free and go every year!

  14. Shelly Lloyd

    April 26, 2013 at 7:52 am

    I don’t know if it is because I grew up in Disney World’s shadow, but I don’t get all that excited over Disney. We try to take the kids to one of the theme parks once a year (not going to happen this year) but for myself I can take it or leave it.

    To me a dream vacation is a trip to the Grand Canyon, or Giant Forest of Sequoia National Park Grand Teton nation park, or Gettysburg…

  15. Flora

    April 27, 2013 at 10:37 am

    I am SO with you… I have to spend my money moving and buying a new car (since, you know, both of our 20 year old cars decided to die at the same time) and paying for dental work. Being an adult sucks sometimes, let’s go back to college!

  16. Grace

    June 28, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Disney is D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G! I stayed at the Grand Floridian and it was gross! The food at all the eateries was inedible and all the people there are gross! I will admit I am spoiled to death, I always stay at the Ritz Carlton and have eaten at some of the nicest restaurants in the country, but still! I hated it as a kid because even at 7 I was used to luxury, but I can’t even fathom an adult enjoying Disney!

  17. D Malfoy

    December 20, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    I am widowed mother and I can afford to take my child to Disney World and am in two months. All it takes is money management and the ability to save. So either cut back on junk you don’t need or make more money. Bitching about it is not helping anything.

  18. J M

    January 31, 2014 at 1:24 am

    Go to a national park or camping instead. Go to the beach. Disney has enough money.

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  21. Namrepus

    September 10, 2014 at 11:00 pm

    If money is the issue you can always try discounted place like timeshare companies. It’s not ideal for everyone, but if you really wanna go and are short on funds it’s an option. Disney is over $100 a day now which is crazy. The only thing worse than that is the room cost, $2,800 a night for a room that sleeps 8 over x-mas!? Forget that, I have a good size family and can’t swing that. Check these guys out.

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