Disney movies are supposed to be the clean, family friendly options on our screens and at our movie theaters. Mostly, that is the case. However, in both vintage and newer movies, there are some startling moments of adult humor. Think of when Peter Pan spanks Tinkerbell and tells her she's been "a very bad girl." That's some NSFW, Fifty Shades stuff. Also, there's a very suggestive first meeting between Elastigirl and Mr. Incredible in which she tells him in a bedroom voice that he should be more "flexible." Kids, in their sweet innocence, don't pick up on these tidbits. Adults do and thank Disney for it.
Even Ralph Breaks the Internet has some naughty moments. Think of Vanellope meeting the Disney court of royals. One of the princesses admits to having "daddy issues," and while it's true there's some adult themes there. After all, we grown ups were raised on a princess that lived alone with seven men, another that saw her fiance get killed but was okay with it since she was in love with a different man, and one that lived in a secluded tower until she married the first man she met. Keep scrolling to read more instances of adult humor in children's movies.
In Aladdin and the King of Thieves Jasmine and Aladdin tie the knot. Their ceremony is interrupted by an earthquake, and all the guests get scared. During this time the genie looks around and mutters this line, "I thought the Earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon..." I'm sure you can imagine the very missed Robin Williams' voice throwing that one out there. That's a pretty direct reference to bedroom activities for a children's movie. Overall, it's pretty harmless. No kid is going to get that reference, especially with the line happening as quickly as it does.
If Winifred was the driven one, and Mary was the awkward one, Sarah was the...lustful? one. Some of her suggestions are damn kinky. Think of this line when Winnie asks what they should do with a boy they've captured, "Hang him on a hook and let me play with him!" Oh, Sarah. Plus, there's the whole bus driver incident when Sarah climbs up on his lap and is quite enthusiastic. When she wakes up Sarah exclaims, "I am beautiful. Boys will LOVE me!" Finally, there's Sarah's intimate slow dance with the man she calls her "master." It's so close that the man's wife shoos the sisters out of her house with a broom.
Image: Pinterest/Bored Panda
Do you know the story of Oedipus Rex? He was the Theban king that unknowingly married his own mother after killing the man he didn't know was his father. Oedipus was so horrified by what he'd done, he ended up gouging out his eyes. His wife and mother? She hung herself for her part in the unnatural marriage. And yes, the couple had children. While this is pretty mature material, it's referenced in Disney's Hercules. He says to Meg, "And that play, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought I had problems."
Image: Giphy/#a bugs life
Pixar released A Bug's Life in 1998. In the scene where Flik ends up in a bar away from his nest, two flies can be seen sitting in the establishment. One looks at the other, wiggles his weird bug hips, and says the line, "Hey cutie, wanna pollinate with a real bug?" C'mon, we all know what pollinating is alluding to. Plus, anyone who calls himself "a real" bug or man isn't one at all. We agree with Heimlich who goes on to call the fly a "poo poo" head. This is the same movie that gave us the line, uttered by a spider, "And that's how my twelfth husband died. So now I'm a widow. I mean, I've always been a black widow, but now I'm a black widow, widow."
Image: WiffleGif/#101 Dalmatians
The live action 101 Dalmatians movie was before its time. After all, Disney's recently been a bent to release its classics as live action remakes. First we had Cinderella. Then it was Maleficent. More recently, we've been treated to a live action update for Aladdin (which was fire, by the way, and we won't hear anything else about it). The 1996 release of 101 Dalmatians featured Hugh Laurie long before his House days. He was one of Cruella's lackies and, upon entering a taxidermist lab, says, "The sight of all these deceased creatures gives me a shrinky winky." Uh, did he just say the dead things give him limp dick? Pretty sure he did.
Okay, we know technically Shrek isn't a Disney movie since it was produced by DreamWorks. It's adult jokes are just too good not to mention. In the first Shrek, we're treated to the man looking to marry a princess. He's Lord Farquaad, and he has his magic mirror tell him who's available. When the mirror offers up eligible maidens, one of them is Snow White. However, he warns that, "just because she lives with seven men doesn't mean she's easy." Uh, we totally didn't catch that slut shaming as children. Farquaad doesn't go on to choose 14 year old Snow White as his bride. Did you know she was barely a teenager? HuffPost tells us that, "For a rundown, the 11 characters of the official Disney Princess franchise are Snow White (age 14), Jasmine (15), Ariel (16), Aurora (16), Mulan (16), Merida (16), Belle (17), Pocahontas (18), Rapunzel (18), Cinderella (19) and Tiana (19)."
We've talked about Sarah Sanderson, whose reputation is a bit murky. After all, Winnie killed Billy because he was "sporting" with Sarah. In a scene with a bus driver (after the sisters learn to cope with asphalt), Sarah tells the man she wants children. She means she wants to capture them and eat their souls. He takes it a different way. He tells her, "It might take me a couple of tries, but I don't think that'd be a problem." Eew. This is in a children's movie. However, the 90's were a looser, less politically correct time. Apparently, conception jokes weren't that big of a deal.
We've all heard the stereotype- men with little packages drive huge cars. The thought here is that men feel the need to compensate for their lack of something with too much of something else. This adult joke was repeated in Shrek, when the ogre and Donkey first see Lord Farquaad's castle. The thing is unnecessarily huge, especially to house such a diminutive figure. Shrek looks at Donkey and suggests, "Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?" Betting just on Farquaad's behavior, we're going to answer with a yes.
Image: Tenor/#yoo hoo
In Olaf's Frozen Adventure, viewers are transported back to Arendelle. This time, it's in winter, a natural not-cursed winter. Olaf finds out that since the sisters have spent so much time apart, they have no holiday traditions. When he sees the queen and princess struggle to overcome this, Olaf sets out to find traditions that could bring them together for the festive season. During a music montage, Olaf runs into Oaken from the original movie. Oaken is enjoying a sauna with his family, and it's a little odd. Oaken is only covered by a towel, but the shot we see lets us know he's naked. Olaf says to him, "Would it be possible to have one of those awkwardly revealing yet traditionally tasteful towels your family is so fond of wearing?" Umm, holiday nudity with family? Big pass.
Who knew that Shrek would appear on this list so much? In a scene in which Farquaad asks the mirror to keep repeating a photo of Fiona, there're some pretty questionable things going on. Farquaad is laying in a bed of furs, sipping a martini. He's clearly topless, although we're led to believe he's naked. He asks the mirror to once again show him the trapped princess. Then, he gulps a drink and peeks under the covers at himself. You can see the suggestive clip here. This villain, he had so much ick factor.
This one's made the news recently. Slate described this Toy Story 2 scene this way, "In the “casting-couch” blooper, Woody turns around the Prospector’s box, as he does in the film, to find old Stinky Pete having an informal meeting with the two Barbie dolls. “So, you two are absolutely identical?” he asks staring up at the Barbies. Chuckling lecherously to himself, the Prospector then reaches out and grabs one of the dolls by the hand, saying “you know, I’m sure I could get you a part in Toy Story 3.” The scene ends with the Prospector realizing that his proposition was being filmed and quickly pretending that he had been giving the girls “tips on acting.”
Image: Tenor/#Peter Quill
In the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie Starlord makes a reference to a 1940's expressionist artist. It's Jackson Pollock, and if you're unfamiliar let's say his work is rather...splotchy. In a scene Starlord says, "Under a blacklight this place looks like a Jackson Pollock painting." Gross. Super gross. Even Rocket knows it's gross and tells him so. According to the film's director, it was a line he said on set that Chris Pratt repeated. It was shot only once because no one thought such a dirty joke would make it into the movie's final cut. Lo and behold, it did.
There's so much wrong with Peter Pan, it's hard to pin down just one thing that's glaringly inappropriate. Like, the natives' "what makes a red man red" song (more on that later). There's one scene that really sticks out. Peter is upset with Tinkerbell over her bad behavior towards Wendy. Therefore, he captures the little fairy and spanks her. While he does this, he says, "You've been a very bad girl, Tink. A very bad girl." Her pixie dust falls all over the place while he's holding her by the wings and patting her on the butt. There's really no way to explain that scene to kids nowadays. This movie clearly needs a live action modernization. The original is pretty offensive when viewed in retrospect.
In the movie Cars, there's an underlying romantic plot line. The racing car, Lightening, meets Sally, a small town Porsche. He immediately likes her. The feeling is not at all mutual. However, with time Sally warms up to Lightening and the two hit it off after Mater accuses them of getting "cozy at the Cone." While there was no cozying there, the two take a surprise stroll that Lightening has planned and surprised Sally with. They're interrupted from their car cuddling by Flo who asks Sally, "Is that what I think it is?" Sally replies, "I haven't had a chance to find out. But I am going to find out. Hello." Flo responds with, "Not that." We're about 99.99% sure that's an erection joke.
You know the story. A redheaded mermaid falls in love with a prince she saved from drowning. She wants to be with him, despite her father's strict warning to stay away from dry land. The mermaid goes to visit the forbidden sea witch, Ursula, to use magic to be with her man. Ursula offers her legs instead of a tail on one condition, the mermaid gives up her voice. When Ariel questions how she'll get Eric to kiss her without a way to speak to him, Ursula suggests she use "body language." The witch-octopus runs her hands down her chest and sides to drive home the point.
In Zootopia, clever fox Nick accuses a newbie cop, Judy, of being nothing more than a dumb, naive bunny chasing a dream that'll never pan out. He's not wrong. After all, Judy's own boss thinks the same thing and relegates Judy to intern level jobs. However, Judy outsmarts them both by getting assigned the case she wanted. When Judy confronts Nick to get him to help her she says the line, "I am just a dumb bunny, but we are good at multiplying." While Judy uses this in reference to the math she's done to prove Nick's been committing tax evasion, we all know the innuendo here.
In a scene from Iron Man 2, Tony and Pepper are speaking with a creative from Vanity Fair. The man says that he's given the cover to an attractive woman. Tony and Pepper (whose real name is Virginia, did you know?) haven't gotten together yet. The scene goes like this- "Pepper: “Right. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.” Tony: “And she wrote a story as well.” This is one of the many former conquests that comes up in the Iron Man movies, despite Tony having a long running plot with Pepper. As of today, however, Pepper has officially been relegated to widow status.
Tony Stark has a great, dirty one liner in Avengers: Age of Ultron. In this movie, Black Widow and Bruce Banner begin a...flirtation?...romance?...thing? They have some sort of super hero teammates wanting to do the nasty together vibe. Tony Stark picks up on it. That's why he says, "Romanoff, you and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini." What's hilarious about this is it starts to boggle the mind. Like, is Hulk's junk actually green. We assume so. Does Banner Hulk out when he gets, you know, stimulated? Clearly, Tony has put some thought into it as well. His joke is funny because it hits the bizarre nature of the relationship and Hulk's, uhh, abilities right on the head.
Image: weheartit/Mariana Carvalho
We said we'd mention the very inappropriate "red man" song from Peter Pan. In this song, the natives attempt to get Peter stoned and inform him why their skin color is different from his. This leads to Peter kissing Tiger Lily and really pissing off Wendy. P.S. why are all the females in this movie so thirsty for Peter. He's a whiny prepubescent boy! One of the verses of the song goes like this, "When did he first say ugh...In the Injun book it say...When the first brave married squaw...He gave out with a big ugh...When he saw his Mother-in-Law." The racism is gross, but the mother in law joke is kind of funny.
Tangled is a very clean movie, right? Okay, except for the whole watching Mother Gothel's death from falling from a high tower after aging 100x faster than nature part. And there's this throwaway line Flynn says at the end of the movie- "The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I don't remember most of it." He's talking about how happy the kingdom was after having Rapunzel return to her parents. We're pretty sure this means he was drunk for a week straight. That's quite a welcome home party. We wonder what his significant other, you know the one who saved him with a golden tear, thought of his lack of control.
Image: Giphy/#my body is ready
Frollo is one of the creepiest villains in the Disneyverse. He has an obsession with Esmeralda, the beautiful gypsy he pursues throughout the entire movie. He even gave her the option, right before burning her to death, to be with him romantically instead. She chose to burn. Thankfully, she escaped the flames. The movie gives us this creepy gem though, "I was just imagining a rope around that beautiful neck." Esmeralda says in response, "I know what you were imagining." So do we, Esmeralda, so do we. According to Disneyandsin, "Frollo, in my opinion, is one of the Disney's most heinous villains. Aside from his perverse lust for Esmeralda, his crimes include: Attempted genocide, manslaughter, attempted murder, attempted infanticide, abuse of power, kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment, and assault with a deadly weapon."
Megara and Herc have already been on this list for their conversation about Oedipus. However, it's the exchange between Hades and Meg that we're talking about now. Eventually, after throwing monsters at the golden boy and being defeated by his awesome strength, Hades realizes he need to capitalize on Hercules' human weaknesses. Cue Meg. Hades tells her, "I need somebody who can…handle him as a man." While this might fly over the heads of kids pretty easily, adults know what he's referring to. It's her feminine wiles. Technically, Megara should be a Disney princess. In the Greek myth, she was the daughter of King Creon of Thebes. Also in the Greek myth was her death by Hercules' own hands.
Image: Giphy/#avengers age of ultron
In Avengers: Age of Ultron the heroes are all relaxing when they attempt to pick up Thor's hammer. No one can do it, although Steve Rogers comes the closest. Thor's feeling pretty good about himself (as would you if you were the god of thunder and looked like Chris Hemsworth). That's when Tony hits Clint Barton with this line, "Clint, you’ve had a tough week. We won’t hold it against ya if you can’t get it up." There it is- an erectile dysfunction joke in a Disney movie. Okay, it's a Marvel movie, but since Marvel is owned by Disney it counts.
In the first Incredibles movie, Syndrome is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan. However, he doesn't know that Mr. Incredible ended up married. When he finds out, it kind of blows his mind. Then, when he sees the two have had three kids he lets out this exclamation, "You married Elastigirl?... Oh! And got biz-zay!" We know what getting busy is and where babies come from, but kids watching probably won't catch the marital sex reference. These little slices of adult humor are why grown people can still enjoy the movies without being bored out of our minds at the movie theater with our kiddos. Just don't try to explain why you're snorting into your popcorn.
Image: Giphy/#toy story
In Toy Story, we get to see a woman making the first move! Gimme a woot woot! In fact, it's prim Bo Peep that tells Woody, "Whaddya say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight?" Because she wants to go on a date? Because she wants to do the nasty? Let's be honest, there's one reason adults want some private time away from their children. There are just things you can't do in a house with kids or, apparently, toy sheep. That's a forward suggestion there, my lady. Woody might say that. Heh, woody. Even his name seems suggestive in this context.
In a scene from Frozen, Anna and Kristoff go visit the love-obsessed trolls. They sing the "Fixer Upper" song about Kristoff's weirder habits. Apparently, he only pees in the woods and has a certain smell about him. However, the somewhat odd quote goes like this, "his things with the reindeer...which is a little outside of nature's laws." Okay, we get it that the two are best friends. That's what they mean, right? Right?! Thinking about that any further will give us nightmares. It's totally innocent...totally. After all, Kristoff ends up having a romance with Anna. In Frozen Fever he even tells her he loves her.
Image: Gfycat/#sergeant calhoun
In Wreck-It Ralph, Sergeant Calhoun is the leader of the squadrons in Hero's Duty. She's a tough lady who has, slyly we think, a fairly dirty mouth on her. In one scene, she says, "All right, pussywillows, back to start position." How many soldiers do you think refer to each other as pussywillows or any other type of flower for that matter? No, Calhoun meant something very different, something only adults would pick up on. We're all for her and Fix-It Felix's romance later on too. It's that whole opposites attract dynamic.
Image: Giphy/#glenn close
In 101 Dalmatians, Anita and Roger tell Cruella that they're expecting their first child. Cruella dismisses their good news by saying something like, "Well, accidents happen." Then, the couple explains that they are also expecting puppies from their dogs. This catches Cruella's attention much more completely, and she says, "Puppies?! You have been a busy boy!" Umm, is that a bestiality reference? We're pretty sure it is indeed. Granted, this is a woman who wants to bag the puppies for their fur, so her morals were already questionable.
Image: weheartit/Carol Owens
We'll let the good folks from Snopes describe the scene to you- "On 8 January 1999, Disney announced a recall of the home video version of their 1977 animated feature The Rescuers because it contained an “objectionable background image.” That image was one which appeared in a scene approximately 38 minutes into the film: as rodent heroes Bianca and Bernard fly through the city in a sardine box strapped to the back of Orville, proprietor of Albatross Air Charter Service, the photographic image of a topless woman can be seen at the window of a building in the background in two different non-consecutive frames, first in the bottom left corner, then at the top center portion of the frame."
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In Frozen, Kristoff tries to make it a point to Anna that she made a rash decision with Hans. He asks her things like what Hans' last name is or what his favorite food is (of the Southern Isles and sandwiches, she guesses). He then asks her if she knows the man's foot size. Anna retorts that, "foot size doesn't matter." To us, that sounds a lot like the whole it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion in the ocean. Ladies, just say it. Foot and ship size matter, at least a little. Someone better tell Anna.
In Cars, we meet Lightening McQueen's super fans, twins Mia and Tia. When they finally meet him they flash their headlights at the race car. He dreamily replies, "I love being me." Security then shows up and escorts the overly excited girls away. We're sure this is a play on flashing, as in beads for Mardi Gras. Lightening's response kind of confirms it. The girls later change their allegiance to Chick Hicks, and we wonder if they showed him the ol' headlights too. Fandom says about the girls, "Painted in his signature red and covered in McQueen stickers, the girls scream like crazy when McQueen races, they scream like crazy when he poses for photos, and they scream like crazy all the way home just thinking about him."
Once again, we're going to talk about Wreck-It Ralph. Who knew this movie had so many adult jokes? In anger after finding out that the other characters of his game were celebrating the game's 30th anniversary without him, Ralph says, "Pac-Man? They invited Pac-Man? That cherry chasing dot muncher isn't even part of this game!" Dot muncher sounds a lot like an insult all adults have heard. It's much cleaner, but it's similar enough that we know where the innuendo points here. Pac-Man makes an appearance in the second Wreck-It Ralph movie as well. While playing I-spy with Vanellope, Pac-Man is what Ralph spies.
Image: Giphy/#the muppets
Muppets: Treasure Island brings us the muppets on a high seas adventure. Miss Piggy, always one to err on the side of drama, plays the pirate lady Benjamina Gunn. While talking to Kermit's character, Benjamina admits to a relationship with famed pirate Captain Flint. He asks her, "You and Captain Flint?" She says in response, "Well, he was a pirate and I was a lady...you know the story." We do. We've seen a hundred versions of it on covers of paperback romances. However, trying to imagine Miss Piggy in place of the scantily clad heroine on said cover is a bit disturbing. We wonder how Fabio would feel about the swap.
Image: PrimoGif/#miss piggy
In another bit of Miss Piggy wisdom she says, "How far should a girl go on the first date? Tucson. However, if you live in Texas, you can probably go a bit farther." We know what she's referring to here. The question about what's appropriate on a first date isn't something new. We like her answer. Tuscon...or a bit further. That's right, we ladies can make our own rules. This quote has been posted on Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Who knew Miss Piggy was such a feminist gem? Another one of her quotes we just can't get enough of? “Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men.”
In Emperor's New Groove, Gronk needs to sleep out under the stars. So what does the big man do? He "pitches a tent." Gronk, who we already described as a large man, puts a tiny little tent that only covers his nether region. Only adults will know that pitching a tent is a euphemism for a man getting a boner. The visual is also funny. Kids will only see a grown person trying to sleep beneath an itty bitty fabric. Adults, now we know that the animators were imbuing the scene with a double meaning. Oh, Gronk. Don't waste all that energy on Yzma. She doesn't appreciate you!
What's our favorite song from Moana? There's only one right answer here. It's the best one, "You're Welcome." It's sung by Dwayne Johnson who voices Maui. Dwayne's Samoan influences can be seen in how he plays Maui. What more do we know about Dwayne "the rock" Johnson? How about that killer body he's shown off in movies like Jumanji and Central Intelligence? That's why, when he sings the lyrics, "I know it's a lot, the hair, the bod..." there's a double meaning there. Is he talking about Maui's demigod physique or his own? Thirst trap, for sure. In fact, even Hugh Jackman credits Dwayne for helping him achieve his own knockout physique in the Wolverine movies.
Apparently, Tony Stark is a champ at making penis jokes. In the first Avengers movie, Loki was trying to mind control Iron Man. However, Tony was immune. Loki excuses himself, explaining, "This usually works." Tony says, "Well, performance issues...it's not uncommon. One out of five..." He's talking about erectile dysfunction. We're not sure if Loki can understand that since he's, you know, not from Earth. The audience gets the joke, though. One thing we've noticed while writing this piece is how often Tony is either thinking about or commenting on other men's genitals. Weird. For a ladies man, Tony spends a lot of energy on the size, general appearance, and functionality of other men's genitalia.
Watch this clip and be warned, there's a computer having some feelings about being searched. Orgasmic feelings. The clip comes from Disney's Brave Little Toaster, one of Disney's less popular offerings. The whole movie is about sentient pieces of technology. It's sort of Disney's kid friendly I am Mother (which, PS, we think you should watch)> Hearing the computer describe it's ecstatic feelings to the mouse is really out there. It's almost like watching a parody show since it's so in your face. How were parents okay with this? It was the 80's, man. Clearly their politically correct and our were vastly different.
Like they said over at Hollywood.com, "No, Disney didn’t go as far to draw an actual penis erection…this time, but to give a little wink to the adults in the room there is a scene where Buzz is so overcome with excitement for Jessie that his wings flip up and his lights go off. Kids might think that is just Buzz being scared, but us older folks know what’s really happening." We think it's cute the space man has such strong feelings for Jessie, the rootin' tootin' cowgirl. It'd have been so easy for Disney to pair Jessie and Woody up, but the excitable Buzz is a pairing of opposites. We dig.
It seems fitting that this list should end with another Tony Stark joke. After all, he's the Avenger's king of naughty comedy. Wait, is it him or Star-Lord that shoulders the title? Anyway, in Iron Man 3 there's a conversation between Tony and Brandt. It goes like this, "Brandt: That's all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner? Tony: Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography!" Now, we know what the whole "cheap trick" could mean. It sounds like a whole Divine Brown/ Hugh Grant situation. Oh Tony, c'mon man. There are a ton of beautiful women that love you. Don't be so low brow.