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Detoxing My Kids After Vacation In 8 Easy Steps

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5. And Also, No More Mozzarella Sticks For Dinner.

This is what our normally salad-loving 6-year old ordered for dinner the other night and I didn’t even bat an eye. All good things must come to an end. Including fried, stretchy cheeses.

6. No More Peeing Outside.

Now before you think we are The Worst, we do a lot of hiking when we visit my parents and our son is a 40-lb. 5-year old with a bladder of corresponding size. We are rarely able to complete a 5-mile hike without him having to relieve himself and he knows the trees are his only option. We thought that it was understood that this was only a vacation thing until last summer when he decided to let ‘er rip in the mall parking lot without even asking. You’ve gotta be proud.

7. No More Hours And Hours Of TV.

We hit the inevitable rainy day this past week and it is easy to run out of constructive activities that do not involve a Sam and Cat marathon and day-drinking for the grown-ups. We are usually on a “weekends only” TV schedule for our kids but at that point, I simply had no eff’s to give.

8. No More “Yes”.

Between my parents (understandably- they are the grandparents, after all) indulging most every whim and my husband and I wanting to relax and not fight a million teeny battles, my kids heard plenty of “yes” over the past week. Now, many of those yeses are about to turn into a big old bag of “nope” as we return to our regularly scheduled programming. Will it suck? Yes. But that is what makes vacation so special. Sorry, kids. Mean Mommy is back in town.

(Image: BlueOrange Studio/Shutterstock)

You can reach this post’s author, Valerie Williams, on Twitter or via e-mail at [email protected]

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