If you thought your kid was gross, here is a story that will make you feel a whole lot better. One mom just had to wrestle a puffy dead bird from her preschooler’s hands, and then argue with him about how he wasn’t allowed to take it for show-and-tell. Parenting is so gross.
Mary Katherine Backstrom from Mom Babble wrote that her kid’s preschool currently has them in the middle of a show-and-tell program where every week the kids bring something that starts with a certain letter. This week, she was getting him ready and making lunch and in a “must get out of the door” panic when she remembered that it was show-and-tell day, and he needed something that started with D.”
“Nugget, quick! Go find something that starts with the letter D. Like duh-duh-DEE. Go!” she said.
He came back with an umbrella.
“Umbrella starts with the letter U. Uh-uh-umbrella,” she said. He disagreed.
“No, mommy–DIS umbrella.”
That’s adorable! But they still needed something for school. She clarified the “TH” sound in “This” and sent him off to find something that starts with D.
“Try again, baby. The letter D. Like Duh duh DINOSAUR.”
“His eyes light up and he goes “OOOOOH! Let me outside, Mommy. I know JUST THE THING!”” she writes.
That’s when she should have started to worry. The moment a toddler’s eyes light up, it’s already too late.
“This is where I tell you that for the last three days, I’ve been complaining that our porch smells horrible,” she writes. “We go outside and Nugget immediately runs to his secret chair where he keeps his “collection.” Rocks, bugs, etc. You know how kids are. He points down and exclaims: “How bout MY DEAD BIRD! DUH DUH DEAD BIRD!””
Obviously she freaks. Her kid’s trying to touch a dead bird, and it’s in his collection spot so he’s almost certainly touched it before.
“I am ready to bleach everything in sight including my son and his bloated dead bird, and now we are late for preschool and still have no show-and-tell,” she rote.
She’s retching and telling him to run inside and grab a stuffed dog “d-d-d-dog,” and her toddler is crabby because the worst mom in the world won’t let him bring a bloated bird carcass to preschool. And now she has to get rid of the stupid bird.
In the end they were 20 minutes late to preschool, but they were not carrying any rotting flesh. I think that’s a win.
Having kids is grosser than anybody ever told me.
Yesterday my toddler wiped her nose on my leg, and I thought that was the grossest thing that had ever happened. That’s nothing compared to dead bird show-and-tell.
Not everyone thinks it’s that gross though. A search for “dead bird show and tell” reveals an old mom forum thread from a woman who was upset because her preschool daughter took a dead bird to show-and-tell. The girl was staying at her father’s house and he called the school for pre-approval first, but the mom thought it was creepy and gross.
Is a dead bird at show-and-tell the grossest thing ever, or cool and educational? Let us know in the comments.
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(Image: Facebook / Mom Babble by Mary Katherine Backstrom)