Childrearing

Day Care Bans Three-Year-Old For Cursing, Parents Everywhere Are Sh**ting Themselves

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shutterstock_135111242__1396542352_142.196.167.223A three-year-old at Jubilee Child Development Center in San Antonio was expelled from her day care for saying a curse word. As a parent who has a child who soaks up all things inappropriate like a sponge, this makes me very nervous.

The little girl said, “shit.” When her mother asked her what she said, she said “animal.”

The little girl’s mother, Cassandra Wright, told her local news station she doesn’t use that word at home and isn’t quite sure where she got it. Before I had kids, I may have rolled my eyes at this statement. Now, I totally get it. I’m already having trouble with my three-year-old saying “shut up” – and he’s said a few curse words before. Thankfully the curse words haven’t stuck. But I understand the whole “I don’t know where she got it” argument, I really do.

You have to be aware all of the time, and it’s something I am not used to. I’m sort of starting to understand why parents get all up-in-arms about cursing on TV or on the radio. This morning I was driving to pick up my mother and that Jay-Z/Beyonce song “Drunk in Love” came on. Jay Z was swearing up a storm and the radio wasn’t even trying to bleep it out. Or, they were, but the new way they bleep things is really weird. They sort of start doing it for a second, then stop and you totally hear the word anyway. I was on autopilot when I realized what was going on – and I quickly changed it. Do I have to be the person that listens to kid cd’s in the car? I don’t want to be that person.

The director of the center told the local news station that there is a policy in place that if “it’s not in the best interest to have a child at the center any longer they can dismiss them.” She also said the little girl laughed after saying the curse word, so she might say it again.

Good grief. My son is starting preschool next week. I don’t need this stress.

(photo: spirit of america/ Shutterstock)

50 Comments

  1. Aimee Ogden

    April 3, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    “Shit, I’ve gotta start watching my damn mouth around you little bastards. Oh wait – sorry! I mean – shoot! I’ve gotta start watching my damn mouth around you little bastards.”

    • Kendra

      April 3, 2014 at 4:28 pm

      That is so my life. One minute: I really need to start watching my mouth. *drops one of the million things I am carrying* DAMNIT!!!!!! Oh well, I’ll start watching my mouth tomorrow then………

    • Elizabeth777

      April 3, 2014 at 9:21 pm

      How are you doing Lupin?

  2. Mystik Spiral

    April 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Goddamn, people get so fucking uptight about some shitty little words…

    “She also said the little girl laughed after saying the curse word, so she might say it again.”

    That made me laugh right out loud. I can see how it might be disturbing if a child laughed after say, hitting, kicking, or biting another kid, but laughing after she cursed? Haha. Maybe the rest of the kids heard her curse and laugh and decided it sounded so fun they will try it too. I hope there’s a cursing mutiny and EVERY kid gets expelled. That policy will change SO fast…

    • allisonjayne

      April 4, 2014 at 9:13 am

      Cursing mutiny! Hee.

  3. val97

    April 3, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    My son’s friend just got detention for saying “shit” when a ball hit him in the face during PE. He’s never been in trouble for anything. They are in 9th grade! It never ends.

    • Tsabhira

      April 3, 2014 at 4:49 pm

      I hope the school gave the ball detention too. Just, you know, since the teachers are already idiots.

    • noodlestein

      April 3, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      Sit here in the corner and think about what you’ve done, BALL.

  4. Robotic Socks

    April 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    During my illustrious stay here at Mommyish, I have found the following to be decisive pro/anti Mommy issues:

    vaccines
    circumcision
    bottle/breast feeding
    cry it out / sleep together
    Barbie
    abortion
    home birth or hospital
    natural or epidural

    Based on these issues, there are 256 possible mom’s out there. For example, you can be a:

    anti-vaxx, pro-circumcision, bottle feeding, sleeping together, anti-Barbie, pro-life, hospital birthing, natural birth mommy.

    Which one are you?

    • journalgal

      April 3, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      I like this game!

      I’m a pro-vaccine, breastfeed if you want to, hospital birth, pro-Barbie, pro-choice, don’t care about circumcision, sleep together out of necessity but then punt ’em to their own bed ASAP, epidural lovin’ mama.

    • Robotic Socks

      April 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      Oh and sorry for the OT, but Beth’s circumcision article comments section’s already been nuked

    • pixie

      April 3, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      I’m a pro-vaccine, pro-choice, envious of Barbie’s awesome wardrobe and accessories, do whatever the hell you think is best for your kid person. 🙂

    • Kendra

      April 3, 2014 at 4:46 pm

      Pro-vaccine, circumcision-whatever you want but I will, breastfeeding for me but again personal choice, sleep together, Barbie’s okay as long as I’m allowed to play, abortion-I can’t bottle myself on that topic bc I have a super complex view, home birth or hospital- do whatever you want but I’m stuck with hospitals, and I would love to do a natural birth but previously had an epidural and C-section and am not opposed to them. PHEW

    • rrlo

      April 3, 2014 at 4:47 pm

      Pro-vaccine and pro-choice for everything else – to varying degrees.

    • Kendra

      April 3, 2014 at 4:47 pm

      Boy, that would have been a lot easier way for me to sum up my 10 page long post! I like it!

    • noodlestein

      April 3, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Whelp, not a mom yet, but I’m pro-vaccines, pro-husband decides about the penis snipping, pro-baby feeding, pro-babies getting good sleep, pro-Barbie, pro-whatever you want it’s your body, pro-healthy birth. Fun!

    • keelhaulrose

      April 3, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      I’m pro vaccines, don’t give a damn one way or the other on circumcision, pro breast feeding though I will never shame someone for using a bottle since I was forced into that position, cry it out, pro Barbie because I can’t stand some of the hooker dolls out there and she’s tame by comparison, pro choice, do what’s best for you birth but give me some damn drugs. I’m in the middle on quite a few of these because it’s not my damn business… does that count for anything?

    • Dev

      April 3, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      Not a mom yet, but: Pro-vaccine and pro-ending everything but medical exemptions to vaccines. I wouldn’t circumcise but I’m planning on adopting so that decision will be made before I meet my kids. Again, adopting so bottle, but I support breastfeeding in general if you can/want to. Pro sleep so no damned kids in my bed. Don’t care about Barbie one way or another. Pro-Choice. Again, not really an issue for me as I don’t plan on giving birth at all, but pro wherever you feel comfortable I guess (Personally I’d probably go home birth). My only gripe about natural vs medicated birth is the lack of awareness about the possible effects of certain drugs (pitocin in particular) and that fact that they’re sometimes pushed hard by doctors. But that’s an issue I have with the American health system. I have personal baggage that leads me to be against overmedicalized birth, but I don’t care what people choose as long as they’re being told about the risks and not being pressured.

    • itpainsme2say

      April 3, 2014 at 7:37 pm

      Vaccine, circumcision(if hubs agrees), undecided, depends on the child, prefer cloth or wooden dolls (like I had) but its hard to avoid barbie, abortion if you make the choice but for me only if medically necessary, and hospital because i want the epidural. Btw what are you?

    • val97

      April 4, 2014 at 8:42 am

      Fun game. I’m pro-vaxx, pro-Barbie, pro-choice. I’m neutral on the rest of them, but here’s what I did: circumcision, breast feeder, cry it out, hospital birth, and one natural, one epidural.

    • Allyson_et_al

      April 4, 2014 at 8:50 am

      Pro-vaxx
      We circumcised, but whatever you chose is fine
      I bf’d exclusively but have no problem with other moms making other choices
      We co-slept during the night nursing phase, then cried it out
      Not a fan of Barbie, but allowed them in the house

      Pro choice
      Hospital
      I chose epidural (second one was surprise c-section, though, so natural not even an option)

    • allisonjayne

      April 4, 2014 at 9:10 am

      Ha. I’m a vaccinating, breastfeeding, co-slept for the first few months, not anti-Barbie but not going to seek Barbie out for my kid either, pro-choice, planned unmedicated home birth turned hospital with epidural and forceps, had a baby girl but wouldn’t have circumcised it if given the choice.

      But, I’m pro-choice in general. These are what worked/works for me but I also think all of the “opposite” choices are valid as well (with the possible exception of vaccinations….I have a hard time with that, I support choice in so many ways but it’s an issue that moves beyond personal choice so I am still pretty torn about that one).

      So yeah. I’m an informed-choice-mama.

    • LiteBrite

      April 4, 2014 at 11:16 am

      I’m pro-vaccines, pro breast feeding (although I bottle fed) and pro choice. My attitude is “whatever works” for the rest of them.

      As for Barbie, I’m envious of her awesome wardrobe, but I do think her skirts are a little north of the knee.

    • Justme

      April 6, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      I love that you did the math to find this out…

      Pro-vaccines…because doing otherwise would be asinine. And the rest of it…I’m not strongly in one camp or the other – more like the “do what works best for you” camp.

      But for the record, I breast and bottle fed, cried it out and sometimes co-sleep, play with lots of Disney princesses, don’t have abortions (but also don’t limit your choices), definitely gave birth at the hospital and was like “give me all the drugs” while I was there.

  5. journalgal

    April 3, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    My four year old learned to swear at daycare. She informed me that butt was the “A-Word.” Then she said she knew the B-Word too. I asked her what the B word was. She looked up at me with her angelic face and big eyes and said, “Fuck.”

    Her father and I nearly popped a blood vessel trying not to pass out in convulsive laughter.

    Then we told her that is not a nice word for anyone to say. Haven’t heard it since.

    Then we went downstairs and laughed until we nearly peed.

    • Amber Leigh Wood

      April 3, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      My nephew first swore at daycare, he went up to a teacher and said to her “hey miss Sarah, look at the fucking bird” she said what ky? And he repeated the sentence, when my sister got there to pick him up, miss Sarah was freaking out, and apologising saying that she hoped that they didn’t think he picked it up from her because she doesn’t swear while at work. My sister thought it was hilarious, he was barely 2 and has never really said it again and is 10 now.

  6. noodlestein

    April 3, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    Let me preface this by saying that I don’t have children, so there’s that. Buuttt, I don’t see the big deal about language on the radio, or shut-up or even kids cursing. My BF’s little girl says ‘bullshit’ sometimes, and nobody thinks anything about it. I’m not trying to be provocative, and like I said, maybe it’s somthing I can’t see because I have children yet, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. I’m a don’t sweat the small stuff kind of person in the rest of my life, so maybe it stems from that. I dunno.

    • Maria Guido

      April 3, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      Trust me – I’m with you. I just don’t want my kid getting kicked out of day care because he says shit. haha

    • noodlestein

      April 3, 2014 at 5:06 pm

      Oh, yes, right! Well, that WOULD be awkward, wouldn’t it?? Clearly, I need to leave work right now, as it’s starting to affect my reading comprehension! Yes, yes, that’s the ticket!

  7. rrlo

    April 3, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Suspending a small child for using a swear word is absolutely ridiculous. Also, today’s “bad word” is tomorrow’s “meh word”. I also don’t get why schools are so “tough” on swear words but so lax on bullying. Priorities people!

  8. cabinfever

    April 3, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Hmm. My 3 year old asks for Jay Z and Beyoncé by name. Is that bad?

    She hasn’t picked up any profanity yet (or hasn’t repeated any, at least). We sent her to a preschool for a few months, and if she’d cursed there, I could definitely see them either kicking her out, or giving me a huge lecture. Ugh, preschools.

    Why don’t they see it as an opportunity to teach? Explain why it’s inappropriate, as they would for a kid who had hit someone or broken something, and punish accordingly.

    • cabinfever

      April 3, 2014 at 5:16 pm

      Let’s say discipline, not punish. 🙂

  9. Bethany Ramos

    April 3, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Well I basically live in San Antonio, so I’m screwed.

  10. Paul White

    April 3, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    welp, I’m shit out of luck

  11. Elizabeth

    April 3, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    My boyfriend grew up (bilingual) in Israel, and I guess they just didn’t care about swearing — his parents swore around him all the time and didn’t care if he or his siblings did. Things got a bit complicated when he got to America in the second grade and they kept having to call his parents because he swore like a sailor.

    Apparently he asked for a list of unacceptable words, and they got all flustered and refused to tell him. Super helpful!

    • itpainsme2say

      April 3, 2014 at 7:45 pm

      My teacher once told us that if you wouldn’t say it in church then you can’t say it in her class because she didn’t want to list them but little did she know I live a no filter life so every time she would say something to me about it i would tell her the last time I said it in church.

    • Emil

      April 3, 2014 at 7:57 pm

      That wouldn’t help me. I went to a Unitarian church growing up and even the minister would curse from time to time in his sermons.

    • itpainsme2say

      April 3, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      Ya as I said It didn’t work on me either because I don’t filter what I say no matter were I am

    • Emil

      April 3, 2014 at 8:47 pm

      “he asked for a list of unacceptable words” man what I would give to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. That is hilarious. I have no idea how I would respond to that. Good thing I’m not a teacher.

  12. Katherine Handcock

    April 3, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Now, I can totally understand why a daycare may have a “no swearing” policy, in the same way that they have a “no hitting/biting/temper tantrums” policy – which is to say that if it becomes a repeated problem, the kid may be out. But surely part of a daycare’s role should be to teach kids socially acceptable behaviour? Kids can’t ever learn what is appropriate or inappropriate to say or do if we just boot them out of a daycare as soon as they cross the line.

    My son stumbled across a video online with cursing in it a few months ago. When he tried out a word or two on us, we explained that we don’t use words like that in our house, and told him that there would be some specific consequences if he kept swearing. It took a couple of reminders, but it stopped fairly quickly – except that now, if he hears someone curse, he reports it to us with the wide-eyed, “Oh, that guy is in so much trouble!” way that only a kid can manage.

  13. NorthernGirl

    April 3, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    When my daughter was in preschool, the teacher told me that she had used “inappropriate language” and I briefly freaked out in my head. My husband and I are rather free with the swearing, so what did she choose to repeat? She said, “Jesus Christ.” That’s it?! My first question to the teacher was did she use it in context? Yup, dropped a toy and said it. And my second question was, aren’t you glad she didn’t add the F-sharp I usually put in between those two words? Luckily my kids’ preschool teacher was pretty awesome and just laughed because she knew I was serious about both questions.

  14. Kay_Sue

    April 3, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Shit gets me every time. Mostly because I catch myself saying it, and for some reason, my very next reaction is always to say, “SHIT!” because, you know, saying it is what upset me in the first place, so it makes perfect sense to say it again in reaction. Yup.

    Man, daycare is hardcore nowadays. I have to say that it makes me glad that we don’t need it currently.

    • TashaB

      April 4, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      A have a friend with a similar reaction, except that she would try to tone down the language mid-process. This resulted in a lot of “ShitFuckPoo!” being said

    • Kay_Sue

      April 4, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      I feel her pain. I have been known to do the same. 😉

  15. C.J.

    April 3, 2014 at 9:57 pm

    Preschoolers and toddlers trying out new words they have heard is really pretty common. It’s not that big of a deal. They could have just explained to the child that language is not allowed. I wonder what they do with kids that mis-pronounce words. My daughter used to say she wanted to shit down instead of sit down when she was 2. My friends son loved to play with his fucks (trucks) when he was little.

  16. Allyson_et_al

    April 4, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Not quite the same, but I got called by my kid’s teacher when he was in 2nd grade because he was using “inappropriate language”. Turned out he was telling his classmate about his uncle and his uncle’s boyfriend, and the classmate’s mom got upset that my son taught her son the word “gay”. Needless to say, we did not discipline him.

  17. allisonjayne

    April 4, 2014 at 9:16 am

    I’d be so fucking screwed. I try not to swear in front of my kid or at work but I also don’t care that much about it to be honest. I care more about my kid using hurtful words (to me, saying “fuck you” is a million times ‘worse’ than saying “this fucking puzzle piece won’t fit right” or whatever). I make more of an effort to avoid saying things like stupid, crazy, etc than I do to avoid swear words.

  18. TwentiSomething Mom

    April 4, 2014 at 11:29 am

    My kid said stupid and shut up for months. Do we call each other stupid and tell each other to shut up at home? Absolutely not, but shut up (in a playing teasing way) has slipped out while on the phone and my son has heard it on the street. I’m surprised he hasn’t picked anything else up yet.

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  20. Justme

    April 6, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    I got a phone call home from my (religious private school) kindergarten teacher that I was cursing in class. My brothers, who were in middle school at the time, got in HUGE trouble for teaching me all the bad words.

    A few years later, I remember the drive home from elementary school when I told my mom that Ricky B. called me a, “mother fucker” and I said it just like that – in all it’s cursing glory. Credit to my mother for not flinching an inch but instead she calmly replied, “maybe we shouldn’t hang out with Ricky B. anymore.”

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