Only Dax Shepard Could Make A C-Section Hilarious
Dax Shepard was on Ellen yesterday talking about his wife’s 33 hour labor that eventually ended in a c-section. He mentioned something I always try to avoid thinking about: what exactly is going on behind that blue sheet. He peeked when his daughter Delta was born, and not only got to see her take her first breaths, he got a nice peek of wife Kristen Bell‘s intestines. Is it just me, or have the rest of you ladies who’ve had c-sections just tried to push that part entirely out of your brain?
Shepard admitted that he had been warned by friends and even his own mother that he “might not want to watch the baby come out.” But no one ever mentioned a c-section, which he says is “way worse.” He told Ellen, “So there’s a sheet and then they go, ‘The baby’s here!’ Then you peek around the sheet and they’re lifting out the baby, but then you notice your wife is completely disassembled,” he continued. “I can see inside of her.”
I’ve been through two c-sections and have written extensively about what to expect, how to (attempt) to prepare and how to try to combat the fear of a scheduled operation. But even after all of the discussions and rehashing, I’ve never once come to terms with what is actually happening with my body while they are extracting a baby. Shepard manages to make it hilarious, though: “I was like, ‘It’s a girl! Your liver’s out, I think,” Shepard joked..”And those are definitely your intestines. And she has your eyes! Oh my God, put her back together correctly.’ “
In all seriousness, I’d never even seen a photo of a c-section before I had my first child. Not sure how I avoided it, I just hadn’t. I remember months after that first c-section I was browsing through New York Magazines yearly “Best Doctors in NYC” issue, when I inadvertently flipped to a two-page centerfold of the procedure. I almost fainted. I’m not exaggerating. I’m still unsure what the fuck New York Mag was thinking with that spread.
It’s easy to forget there’s someone else who needs some support and preparation for a c-section: your partner. No, they won’t have to wince every time they sit up in bed for a week, struggle to pee, or rue the first time they get on their feet post-op – but he or she will have to try to remain calm while they’re in the delivery room. That’s a feat worth some recognition, too.