A 31-year old woman who was raised by her mother and her mother's same sex partner has caused a stir in the conversation around marriage equality by publishing a recent essay speaking out against gay marriage. While she claims same sex marriages are harmful for children, her own unresolved daddy issues appear to be coloring her opinion in the matter.
Heather Barwick is a married mother of four from South Carolina. She was born to a heterosexual couple, but her parents divorced when she was three. Barwick's father, who, in her own words,"wasn't a great guy," did not continue a relationship with her after her parents' divorce. Barwick was raised by her mother and her mother's same sex partner. Despite the fact that Barwick admits her mother's partner treated Barwick like her own child, and the fact that Barwick was formerly an advocate for gay marriage, Barwick has had a change of heart. In an essay for The Federalist titled: Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting, Barwick claims that same sex marriages are harmful to the children being raised within them.
From The Federalist:
Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.
We know there are so many different ways that the family unit can break down and cause kids to suffer: divorce, abandonment, infidelity, abuse, death, etc. But by and large, the best and most successful family structure is one in which kids are being raised by both their mother and father.