a single mother
10 Dating ‘Mistakes’ Single Moms Make
4. Having sex too soon.
Point: being sexually intimate too soon reinforces the concept that sex is part of dating, and having sex will bond you emotionally to that person.
Counterpoint: LOL no. Just no. If I wasn’t down for sex-shaming before I entered into a long-term monogamous relationship that failed, I sure as shit am not down for it now. Do you want to have sex on the first date? Do it! If you want to wait, wait. Women are absolutely capable of separating sexual satisfaction from emotional intimacy. Hell, many of us did just that during our failed marriages and relationships! Honestly, sometimes you just need to get laid. So get it.
5. More dating mistakes single moms make: badmouthing your ex.
Point: Badmouthing your ex will make a potential partner think you’re not quite over that relationship.
Counterpoint: I’m torn on this one. I certainly don’t advocate talking shit about your ex on a first date, or spending all of your time detailing their every fault to your new person. But, when you’re getting to know someone, especially in the context of starting a romantic relationship with them, honesty and transparency is key. Sure, I could say, “Things just didn’t work out”. But some details about who my ex was and his conduct during our marriage helps explain a lot of who I am now, and why I have the expectations that I do. So I personally believe in telling your story, even the bad parts, when the relationship reaches that stage.
6. Having expectations that are too high.
Point: Having expectations that are too high can severely limit your dating pool. You should cast a wide net, and sort through the detris that you catch with an open mind.
Counterpoint: How about … no. Listen, having low expectations is what got me divorced and raising two kids on my own shortly after I turned 35. Aim high, ladies! Will it limit your dating pool? Probably. But honestly, who has time to weed through the undesirables? Don’t lower your expectations in order to find a partner.