10 Baby Stock Photos That Would Make The American Academy Of Pediatrics Cry
We’ve already established that stock photos exist in an alternate universe. It’s a place where everyone is laughing and smiling, moms are universally thin and blonde, and breastfeeding almost always happens in a field of wildflowers at sunset. Reality doesn’t apply when it comes to stock photography, so naturally common sense parenting practices and safety advice don’t either. Here, straight from the land of rampant crib bumpers, are ten stock photos that would reduce sanctimommies and the American Academy of Pediatrics to tears:
1. The poster child for safe sleeping.
Bumper? Check. Heavy bedding? Check. Fuzzy robe? Check. The only way this could be better is if they turned the baby on its stomach, surrounded it with stuffed animals, and wheeled the crib out into oncoming traffic.
2. Gun Safety Baby.
(Alexander Smushkov / Getty)
Well, check out this little maverick. He’s ready to head down to the sand box and challenge some suckers to a duel. I hope he doesn’t put the hat on before he starts shooting. It looks kind of big, like it might throw off his otherwise impeccable aim.
3. This kid crossing the street.
(Photobac / Shutterstock)
I mean, really, what could go wrong?
4. These party animals.
(Kiselev Andrey Valerevich / Shutterstock)
What is even happening here? This feels like the best possible sarcastic response to every concern troll on the internet. I might print this out and put it in my wallet to pass off as a photo of my kids whenever a nosy stranger asks who’s watching my babies or if I’m still breastfeeding.
5. This brave explorer.
(Jack F / Getty)
This came up when I searched for ‘child playing.’ Lots of kids play with irons and light sockets, right? Maybe she’s really into appliances. You don’t know. Don’t judge.