being a mom

Protecting Our Sons From ‘Aggressive’ Girls Is The Most Anti-Feminist Parenting Crap Ever

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Dana Gresh Wants Us To Protect Our Sons From Aggressive GirlsWhen I think of the girls I want my sons to date or form relationships with, I want them to be with the girl who walks into my kitchen and sits down at my table and who can throw down with me about her opinions. Even if they differ from my own. I want a girl who isn’t scared to tell my son if he is being an asshole, and as a mother to teen boys, as much as I love them and as amazingly wonderful as they are, they, at times, can be assholes. I want them to date girls who are confident, and self-aware, and have strong voices and thoughts and who are ambitious in their plans for their futures. In short, I want them to date girls who are aggressive. I don’t care how these girls dress or if they have hair that is Manic Panic’d to the sky or if they come into my home wearing a skirt that barely covers their lady-gardens, if they are kind and caring and smart and decent people – and if they have a voice and aren’t afraid to use it.

But according to author and modesty-pusher and motivational speak and “Christian Mom” Dana Gresh, it’s these “aggressive girls” we need to worry about.

With feminist messages and the likes of Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry infiltrating the media waves, our culture tells tween girls to go after whatever makes them happy—unfortunately, they often go after our sons! What’s a mom to do about aggressive girls?


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Now, I’m not as familiar with the bible as our pal Dana here is, but to paraphrase she thinks that boys should date and marry girls like the ones in Proverbs 31, with the wool and flax who don’t eat the bread of idleness, but who hang around doing nothing but taking care of their families and planting vineyards and fearing the Lord. The hot slut in Proverbs Seven has a perfumed bed, dresses like a hooker, and leads a dude like an ox to slaughter. She suggests that we moms become really aggressive in telling our sons not to go after aggressive girls.

I don’t believe in warning my sons about “wayward women.” I warn them about being decent people and treating women with respect and how not to act like assholes. I warn them about hanging around assholes who are bullies or creeps or who get trashed and drive or who take drugs and how they don’t want to be having sex with girls until they are ready to be parents.

I like aggressive women. I am an aggressive woman. And I hope my sons grow up to marry someone or date someone a lot like me. Because I can plant a damn vineyard, and I can also drink from it too. And no amount of biblical slut-shaming is going to make me feel otherwise.

(Image: You Tube)


  1. Alex Lee

    May 23, 2013 at 10:40 am

    If all the girls become aggressive, then the only choices left for Dana’s son will be….other godly boys.

    They can get married in Massachusetts – it’s legal.

    Believing in a higher-power can be good. But using a book that’s undergone several retranslations and revisions to deny love is, to me, ridiculous. If my son or daughter found his soulmate, I’m not going to let some Bible passage stand in the way. Love is too fleeting for that.

    Eve as a mother-in-law. Cannot wait.

    • Myriam

      May 23, 2013 at 11:13 am

      But what about those poor boys you want her sons to date… they’ll be stuck with her as a mother-in-law! I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, godly boys or agressive girls! 😉

  2. TngldBlue

    May 23, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Well thank god because I wouldn’t want my daughter to date someone with a mother like that anyway. And seriously, lady-gardens is the funniest damn thing I’ve heard all week.

  3. Amber

    May 23, 2013 at 11:03 am

    If a girl is a slut for having sex then so is every boy who has sex with her.
    I hate women like this who act like women are bad and men are good and if a man does something bad, it’s because some whore woman made him do it. Disgusting.

    I take solace in the fact that this woman chooses to associate with men who don’t respect her as a human being, just some whore woman who needs to be kept in line.

    • EditKitten

      May 23, 2013 at 1:03 pm

      Thank you. These women never take into account that a man played a 50-percent role in these girls being “sluts.” We women hurt our own cause so much more than we think sometimes …

    • SarahJesness

      May 23, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      It’s quite the silly mindset. I mean, if it’s okay for guys to have sex but it’s not okay for girls to have sex, under that logic, the only moral sex is guy-on-guy.

  4. chickadee

    May 23, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Well, this woman appears to be a more updated version of Michelle Duggar. You can’t argue with this sort of fundie mentality because it is firmly rooted in the hard-line conservative perspective that prohibits premarital sex, adheres to traditional gender roles, and assumes that women’s sexual roles begin and end where men want them to. This woman is a loon.

  5. Nicole Vasile

    May 23, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Lady Gardens…amazing

  6. Amanda Stanley

    May 23, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Please know that women of the bible were in fact aggressive. It takes a very assertive person to walk into the throne-room of a king and demand his presence (Ester). It takes an aggressive woman to capture a convict on the run (Jael). This lady doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I myself will teach my son to go after women with strong morals, ambitions and drive.

    • Kelly Koch

      May 23, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      “well behaved women seldom make history” comes to mind…

    • whiteroses

      May 24, 2013 at 11:14 pm

      It also takes an aggressive woman to murder a corrupt judge (Deborah), protect a bunch of spies and stand against everyone she knows (Rahab), protect her charge no matter what (Mephibosheth’s nurse- seriously, read about her, she was amazing), love those that love her even when it’s inconvenient (Ruth), guide and help a ruler (Abigail), follow a prophet even when your own sister tells you you’re wrong (Mary, sister of Martha) and carry a child even when you’re scared out of your mind because you believe in what God told you (Mary the mother of Jesus).

      The Bible isn’t made of a group of modest wallflowers. These women were the ultimate strong, aggressive, smart, awesome collection of femininity- flaws, foibles and all. I would venture to call them ballbusters. Just FYI- Rahab was a prostitute and an ancestress of Jesus. She managed to find her way into Jesus’ lineage because she obeyed. Just another reason not to judge a book by its cover.

  7. Valeri Jones

    May 23, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    This just makes me roll my eyes. Different people like different things. I have 3 sons. One is 17 and likes giggly, pretty girls. One is 15 and likes girls who cuss like sailors. And one is 18 months and he better not be looking at girls for dates for at least another 13 years. As long as your kids are happy and they’re not being abused or taken advantage of, isn’t that enough?!

    • jessica

      May 24, 2013 at 5:49 pm

      Right. I mean doesn’t my son have the right to choose his own mate based on his own personal preferences? There are a number of things that bother me about what Gresh is trying to get at here and that is just one of them.

    • Valeri Jones

      May 24, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      Exactly. I didn’t even bother trying to watch the video, because I knew it would just get under my skin.

      But I also think that girls who are aggressive make for a better relationship. Simply because, if a girl is not afraid to tell her boyfriend what she truly wants or what she likes or what pisses her off, or whatever, there is less margin for error. Same goes with boys, particularly my boys. When I ask them what they wanna do for the weekend, they shrug their shoulders and mumble, “I dunno.” This leaves a lot of room for interpretation and misjudgment. Just one of those things, ya know?

    • Roberta

      May 27, 2013 at 10:53 am

      I somehow managed to watch the whole thing. I love when she says that
      the girls that boys should date should not be aggressive, but moms
      should be aggressive in pressing this point. I am calling her out. This isn’t about her son finding a “nice” girl. This is about her future-daughter-in-law (God help her) and how she doesn’t want one that will stand up for herself.

    • Valeri Jones

      May 27, 2013 at 9:23 pm

      I wonder if she also thinks that her sons should be allowed to treat girls however they want….

  8. Mom of Five

    May 23, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    OMG I couldn’t even listen to the second minute of this! I have all sons, and I hope their GFs are confident, independent, and know their self worth. I hope I have taught my boys better than to feel they want to dominate the females in their lives.

  9. SarahJesness

    May 23, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    … Miley Cyrus is an aggressive girl? I haven’t been paying attention to the tabloids lately.

  10. aileen_t

    May 23, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    I want to be a hot bible slut.

    • meteor_echo

      May 24, 2013 at 2:39 am

      You will get to have a perfumed bed, too!

    • aileen_t

      May 24, 2013 at 9:07 am

      And lead men like an ox to slaughter.

    • meteor_echo

      May 24, 2013 at 9:59 am

      And dress like a hooker. I wonder how the biblical hookers dressed though…

    • aileen_t

      May 24, 2013 at 11:31 am

      I don’t know, I’m going out with my husband tonight maybe I’ll try for sexy biblical hooker.

    • meteor_echo

      May 24, 2013 at 12:58 pm

      It might be the best Halloween costume ever, by the way!

    • Justme

      May 24, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      I’m thinking of a slave Princess Leia.

    • aileen_t

      May 24, 2013 at 4:49 pm

      I was just going to flash some ankle and maybe have opinions on stuff

    • Eve Vawter

      May 24, 2013 at 4:44 pm

      We can all be hot bible sluts!

    • Anne Cordelia

      May 24, 2013 at 9:01 pm

      OMG, I heart this community so, so much!

  11. Blueathena623

    May 24, 2013 at 9:04 am

    I think its weird to use “aggressive” for this type of behaviour. Eve, I’m not bashing you for using it, just this lady. Having an opinion and expressing it is not an aggressive act unless said person has your arm pinned behind you and won’t let you go until you agree.

    • Justme

      May 24, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      Yes. Perhaps a better word would be assertive? We want assertive young women?!

  12. Justme

    May 24, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    When I think about “aggressive” young girls in my school that openly and continuously badger and pursue the boys, I actually feel a little sad for them. Many of the girls that are desperate for the attention from boys come from backgrounds and homes where they were abused, neglected and do not have a loving, supportive adult in their lives. As an adult and a mother, I would be wary of THAT kind of behavior because I don’t think it’s healthy in ANY relationship, regardless of gender or age.

    BUT…the kind of young woman that you’re talking about?! I think a better word would be ASSERTIVE. The kind of girl who knows who she is, what she believes and isn’t afraid to express herself in any given situation.

    I think the word “aggressive” has a pretty negative connotation while “assertive” is more akin to being of strong character and beliefs.

  13. scooby23

    June 9, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    So this woman wants her son to marry a woman who has no opinions, is afraid to express her feelings, is afraid to say no to her husband, and just stays in the kitchen and prepares dinner and changes diapers for her whole life? What is this saying about her own life? Doesn’t she want a positive future for her own kind?
    Oh wait, no, I forgot. In her world, women don’t have opinions unless they go with “their man’s” opinions -_-

  14. Pingback: Mom Criticizes Scantily Clad Girls For Posting Selfies, Slut Shaming

  15. Talia Gamble

    September 5, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    I always feel horribly sorry for the young girls raised in fundamentalist Christian homes *CoughDuggarsCough* who are taught from an early age that a woman’s job is to be meek, submissive, cater to her husband, and pop out babies. Umm no. I want my son to marry a woman who is smart, feisty, ambitious, and who fights for what she believes is right. I was blessed to have parents who raised me to be independent, strong, and to know that anything I want to achieve is possible. If the baby i’m carrying now is a daughter, she will be raised the same way. There is a shortage of women like that in the world and we need more women to step up to the plate and raise their daughters to be “Heathen bible sluts.”

  16. LR

    November 11, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Truth is, sons can fight back lecherous girls real easily. Of course, we always think of lecherous women as sluts, whores, etc. who emasculate men and expect them to be less assertive and passive.

  17. Brian Hopgood

    January 13, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    You seriously need to understand the difference between an assertive person and an aggressive one. I would not want my sons or daughters to go out with someone who is aggressive, but dating someone who is assertive is good. I wouldn’t want them to go out with wall flowers who lack a spine or can’t express their own opinions.

    Also you shouldn’t be expecting your children to go out with someone that suits you.
    They should be going out with the people that suit them.

  18. Guest

    January 23, 2014 at 10:24 am

    So you would rather your son be with a lazy girl who is on her back all day, passing around diseases (like an ox to the slaughter) because that’s “feminist”, instead of a woman who handles her business and family while being respected by everyone who meets her, because that is in the Bible and therefore, bad for women. Seems legit.

    When your 5th grader is getting his little weenie roasted by a “feminist” because she thinks being promiscuous is the only way boys will like her, keep laughing.
    I don’t have a boy, I have a teen girl. This lady is talking about the middle school girls who wil sport**ck your kid before his balls drop. Be aware.

  19. mike

    June 22, 2014 at 5:16 am

    A straight man never want to be a gay and that is what happens if a man meets a aggressive woman . Men like feminine girls not a “feMALE”.

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