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Why I Find Dadchelor Parties Really Freaking Annoying

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We get it Bro. You’re becoming a grown-up. You’re going to have a kid. But you don’t want to let go of your fun, party animal side. So why not combine your old life and new? Why not bridge the gap? Why not throw a dadchelor party?

Because they’re dumb. And obnoxious. And they probably mean that you aren’t really ready to be a grown-up just yet.

For those of you who aren’t up on this cool new trend, a dadchelor party, also known as a diaper kegger, is where a bunch of guys get together to drink beer in honor of the man who is about to become a first-time father. Normally, every attendant brings a box of diapers, and that’s the only thing about the party that actually has to do with upcoming baby.

Yes, women get their baby showers. They get to have cake and a small assortment of finger foods while they collectively say “Awwwww,” over baby clothes. I can understand why guys would be really jealous about missing out on all this excitement. But there is a big difference between a baby shower and a dadchelor party. (By the way, the PR person who came up with that term should be publicly flogged.) A baby shower’s focus is actually on the child that’s about to be born.

For all that some people complain about baby showers, and they do, this little get-together centers around the child. You get things to prepare for the little one. You talk about names and nurseries and get advice from other mothers about what to do during those tough first weeks.

The only thing that links a diaper kegger to fatherhood is a whole bunch of Huggies. These things are using the child as the excuse to throw a party, not the reason to celebrate.

If a dad really wants one last party before he has to get serious and responsible, then just throw a party. Honestly, there doesn’t need to be a theme. Just have your friends over and act like an idiot. You’ve never needed an excuse to do that in the past.

If we really want to bring the dad in on the celebrations surrounding the birth of their child, that’s fine too! Switch up your baby shower to include couples. Skip the games that no one likes and let the dads get involved in the whole process of baby preparation. Who says that showers just have to be a bunch of females sitting in a big circle anyways?

This whole dadchelor party business just seems like one more thing event planners came up with to make us all feel like we aren’t social enough. It’s like the gender-reveal parties that suddenly feel like a tradition, but they just started happening a couple years ago and they annoy absolutely everyone. These things are like Sweetest’s Day. They’re made up to sell more greeting cards. And we should really stop giving in to them.

Listen, I am not some pessimistic person who hates fun and excitement. I actually enjoy baby showers, and I’ve thrown my fair share of them. I like holidays. I’m a lawn decorator and a cake maker and the person not too ashamed to try to chug milk out of a baby bottle. But dadchelor parties just go too far.

There are better ways for dads to get involved in the pregnancy than having a keg of beer with their friends surrounded by some diapers. How about going to the doctors appointments dude? Why not help out with the nursery? And if a soon-to-be dad really wants to celebrate the upcoming birth of their child with friends and family, that’s cool! Have a nice dinner. Plan a little party. But don’t sell it as a diaper kegger, the baby party that spends as little time as possible actually talking or thinking about the baby.

(Photo: Jaimie Duplass/Shutterstock)

26 Comments

  1. Ipsedixit010

    October 3, 2012 at 11:19 am

    In substance, there is very little difference between a diaper party and a baby shower. Sure, there are gifts for baby and maybe a few thrown in for Mom, but I have never been to a baby shower where moms sat round and discussed baby names or tips and tricks at length. Never. The shower revolved around Mom and cute baby clothes, games, food, and some gentle ribbing from other moms.

    And who says the dads aren’t doing the same thing? Ribbing and talking with the new dad about what to expect, but in their own ‘guy’ way?

    I find both to be incredibly tacky, but if someone wants to throw a party, go for it. That doesn’t make someone “not ready” to be a dad.

  2. Lori B.

    October 3, 2012 at 11:45 am

    I actually wanted to throw my husband one of these parties prior to the birth of our daughter because he never had a proper bachelor party prior to our wedding. We actually closed on our house and had to move in the day his party was scheduled so it was cancelled. He refused it. However, if I had heard the term “dadchelor” back then I would have publicly flogged the person who said it! I hate when we combine two words together to seemingly make a new word… staycation, yuck!

  3. LiteBrite

    October 3, 2012 at 11:49 am

    I admit I find the name “dadchelor party” pretty stupid. Aside from that though, I don’t see a problem with the premise. I don’t know one guy, gay or straight, who would be overjoyed at the thought of sitting around in a circle discussing baby clothes, so why not let them have fun in their own way? If the guys want to go out for a few beers, or even a kegger, and discuss fatherhood, what’s wrong with that? (Then again, I’m from Wisconsin. We don’t need an excuse to drink here.)

    As Ipsedixit010 said, just because a guy wants to have a party doesn’t mean he isn’t ready for fatherhood. One party isn’t going to keep him from going to doctor’s appointments or helping with the nursery. I do, however, have a problem with the idea that it’s supposed to be “one last party before you get serious and responsible.” It’s an all-or-nothing mentality, like once you have kids you have to give up everything you loved to do prior to having them. I don’t subscribe to that AT ALL.

    • alice

      October 3, 2012 at 1:06 pm

      amen. nothing bugs me more than this attitude (almost completely perpetuated by women) that the FUN STOPS HERE! it’s so counterproductive to our strides in equality with men. wives don’t HAVE to play the role of mother to their husbands. wives don’t have to have an arsenal of eyerolls and “judgey” comments, and we don’t have to act like if we weren’t around, our husbands would be laying dead on the floor a vegas hotel room at any moment.

      in short: the attitudes expressed in this article are not unique, but representative of an age old disturbing STEREOTYPE that girlfriends and wives are the “FUN POLICE”

      ladies: you don’t have to play the shrew. no really, you don’t. it’ll all be okay….

  4. MJ

    October 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

    This post seems to underestimate and insult men. Men drinking beer and giving diapers or other gifts to a friend is not obnoxious–it has been happening for generations in my family, usually at the same time as the baby shower.
    I think that most men having these parties (or having them thrown for them) go to doctor’s appointments and help out with the nursery. I’m pretty sure they also spend plenty of time talking or thinking about the baby. I have no idea why you would assume otherwise because they go to a party and get some diapers from their friends.

  5. Shelly Lloyd

    October 3, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    If you don’t like “dadchelor parties” fine, don’t throw one. Seriously, who has the time to whine on-line and write a whole article on why they don’t like dads having a party. Mind your own business.

  6. alice

    October 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    i coudn’t disagree more with this entire article.

    “The only thing that links a diaper kegger to fatherhood is a whole
    bunch of Huggies. These things are using the child as the excuse to
    throw a party, not the reason to celebrate.”

    So what? My friends and family find “excuses” to celebrate all the time. We throw “[insert stupid tv show] premier” parties, and Crock Pot parties, and Halloween in July parties, and any other stupid idea that we can think of as reason to get together and unwind.

    “If a dad really wants one last party before he has to get serious and
    responsible, then just throw a party. Honestly, there doesn’t need to
    be a theme. Just have your friends over and act like an idiot. You’ve
    never needed an excuse to do that in the past.”

    Why so angry? Who cares if the guys want to get together and pin a “theme” on it? And is every guy who wants to have some drinks with his friends “acting like an idiot?”

    This whole article just sounds bitter. Being a responsible adult OR parent has nothing to do with avoiding social events, social drinking, or even over-indulging every now and then.

    And the insinuation that any man (or woman?) who still wishes to partake in these events is not ready to have a baby, that’s egregiously judgmental of you.

  7. KG

    October 3, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    What a bitter and useless article. Yes, the term “dadchelor party” is idiotic. However, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a father-to-be having a night out with his closest friends for some wings and beer. Becoming a father is an important step in a man’s life and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating this. I’m not advocating going to a strip club or getting blackout drunk, but what’s the harm in having a little fun?

  8. Sara

    October 3, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    With the exception of the name, which I find completely idiotic, I don’t have a problem with this. A guy getting together to drink beer and celebrate with his buds before having a baby? The horror! The shock!!!! I think the author is overthinking this whole thing a bit.

  9. Cee

    October 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    Sooo everyone cackling around you, giving you car seats and strollers that quite frankly you should go get yourself because the one on your wishlist is goddamn expensive, and watching all your girlfriends try not to bite the rubber nipple off a baby bottle is positively sane but collecting diapers just to hang out and drink beer is not?
    I’d honestly go to a dadchelor party than a baby shower any day because the crappy pasta salad and games for the 100 dollar carseat I have to buy just to go to a babyshower just isn’t gonna fly. But heck yea Id go for a drink and pizza and talkabout other things before a parent becomes a “mombie.” I mean pregnant women talk about their pregnancies everyday. You dont need to hold a giant pastel conference over ambrosia salad to top it off.
    Also, how does this event all of a sudden make a guy a bad father? Is the presence of fun, beer, friends or happiness the way you spot a bad father?

    • LiteBrite

      October 3, 2012 at 2:09 pm

      I was thinking the same thing about “Dadchelor” parties: they sound way more fun than the typical baby showers I’ve been too. Beer? Pizza? Throw in some music by Rob Zombie and you got yourself a deal.

  10. Carinn Jade

    October 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    I can get behind these parties if it is truly a last hoorah and the dad-to-be promises to never get drunk and have a hangover again. Because I always have to mind the brats myself when that happens.

  11. Wahhhh

    October 3, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    This was dumb. What’s wrong with a Dadchelor party? I think it’s pretty hilarious and if it were possible I’d rather have had a Momchelor party than a baby shower. It’s a silly theme, granted, but it’s for fun and I think the name is cute!
    Most men do *go* to doctors’ appointments (or at least, mine did) and if they want to have a wild party then why not? Why is it so awful to have a party without endlessly talking about your baby? IT GETS BORING. Especially if he or she isn’t there yet!

  12. To Celebrate Women

    October 3, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    So let me get this straight. Once you’re a parent or about to be, you can’t have any fun, ever. Well, you can have fun, but it can’t have anything to do with parenting. And if you dare to have any fun, ever, it automatically means you’re useless as a parent at all times, and probably not dedicated to your kids. Is that not what you’re trying to say? Because that’s how it comes across to me.

    • Another Steph

      October 4, 2012 at 1:23 am

      You can have fun, but it can’t have anything to do with parenting… but if you have fun without talking about parenting, that’s bad too.

  13. Tea

    October 3, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Sounds like fun to me. Honestly, if we’re going to let women have a party together and socialize, why can’t the guys? The only issue I have, is that kids shouldn’t mean you stop being fun, or stop having the occasional indulgence.

  14. Another Steph

    October 3, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Here in Australia we’ve done what’s known as a head wetting for decades – the day/night after the baby is born, the mother rests in hospital while dad goes out and has a few beers with his mates to celebrate. I guess that makes generations of Aussie dads irresponsible morons.

    • Lawcat

      October 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm

      CLEARLY those men are not certified grown ups! I bet they even have conversations that are not about the baby. (clutch pearls) Who do they think they are? Did they attend doctors appointments? Why can’t they just have a nice dinner party?!

    • Another Steph

      October 4, 2012 at 12:37 am

      I actually ended up crashing my partners head-wetting (long story), so I guess I’m not a certified grown up either. And by the time I got there, I was so sick of repeating, “9 pound 3, 15 hours, 9 o’clock in the morning,” that I forbid anyone from asking me questions about the baby.

  15. Lutzy

    October 3, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Lindsay sounds just a wee bit controlling, don’t ya think?

  16. kathleen

    October 3, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    Heh. I came here expecting to be one of a few dissenting voice about this article, and it turns out that everyone else is already on my page.

    The name? Stupid. The concept? Just fine. Why not have a boozy party before the baby is born? As others have mentioned, it sounds like a lot more fun than the showers *I* attended or that *I* received. There was never any beer and we did have to play silly games and there were crafty prizes and we were asked to use puff paints to decorate bibs. O whee.

    If I have to hang out with women I don’t know that well because I love someone who is having a baby, I would find it a lot easier if there was alcohol involved…although that kind of leaves the mother-to-be out. Oops. A better idea is to have the shower after the baby is born so that the mother can have alcohol too. Problem solved.

  17. Kristi Dwelis

    October 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Wow, women with opinions like this are the reason why men think women are controlling. Seriously? So what if the guy wants to throw a party about the fact he is going to be a dad?? That’s how guys do things! We get to express our excitement for a new baby with a girly baby shower and play silly games, so let men slap each other on the back and have a shot. Who gives a crap??

  18. Eileen

    October 4, 2012 at 7:58 pm

    Meh. I don’t really care. I find it way less annoying to have a party that also includes diapers as a nod to the man’s impending “dad” status than to have multiple baby/bridal showers for the same baby/wedding.

    I’m with you on “dadchelor,” though – and I stand by my constant refrain: “Bachelorette” is NOT a word. The English equivalent of “bachelor” is “spinster.” If you’re not okay with that, just call it a hen party, which is kind of cute.

  19. KazaD

    October 5, 2012 at 1:18 am

    What a very bitter article. The father-to-be isn’t allowed to not think about the upcoming baby for even one night? Geez, when I was pregnant, I wished there was at least one night where I didn’t have to think about being a mother and just letting it ‘all hang out’. For goodness sake, lighten up. One party doesn’t make for an irresponsible dad. My husband was very much into the whole buying for baby and attended all the appointments with me, but when his friends decided to take him out his own for one night to celebrate his impending fatherhood, I didn’t begrudge that.

  20. tired

    February 13, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    I’m pretty sure her point was if your going o have a party, have a part. Don’t try to pretend its about your upcoming baby. And women don’t perpetuate that stereotype alone, men help, milking the I want to blah blah blah while I still can bullshit. Frustrating hearing the whining when your 8 months pregnant with twins, just saying. And yea we get a baby shower, we Carry and birth the children. Duh. You don’t se women having. Yay I’m not pregnant any more lets get wasted parties though do you?!

  21. Tandra

    June 24, 2013 at 1:01 am

    I honestly don’t see the problem. Guys just aren’t going to get into the cutesy-ness of a traditional baby shower, but who says that they can’t celebrate, too? And just because they drink doesn’t mean they’re going to get roaring drunk and be irresponsible.

    I’m going to throw my husband a “dadchelor” party this fall — it’s our first, we’re moving before the baby is born, and it’ll be a combined “celebrate him being a new dad and see him off before the move” party. Some of the men invited are already fathers, so I’m sure some sort of kid-talk will happen. And if it doesn’t, who cares? He’s a loving, caring husband and will be twice as great a dad — beer and diapers or not.

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