ADVERTISEMENT

Childrearing

15 Stupid-Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids

By  | 
ADVERTISEMENT

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids lame joke meme jpg

My husband was obviously born to be a dad because he has perfected the art of dad jokes. If you don’t know what a dad joke is, just think of a ridiculous pun or an insufferably cheesy joke that you may find on the wrapper of a candy bar—and congrats, you’re a professional comedian.

It’s not my husband’s fault really, it’s in his genes. His penchant for dad jokes was passed on from his forefathers. My father-in-law is the worst offender of them all.

My husband told me about this hilarious Reddit thread called—you guessed it—Dad Jokes. True to form, one Redditor said, “I showed my dad the Dad Jokes subreddit, and he said, ‘I don’t get it. These are just normal jokes.'” Touché, Dad, Touché.

You might be a dad if you think these “hilarious” Reddit jokes are knee-slappingly funny:

1. Everytime we drive up north for the Holidays we pass by the same shop to get something to eat.

Dad: “Oi buz, you want a piecost?”

Me: “What’s a piecost?”

Dad: “About $4.50”

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids eyeroll1 gif

2. My dad is a police officer and I was on a ride-along with him. He and his partner arrested a guy for shoplifting. As the perp, whose name is “Unique,” is sitting in the back of the car, my dad walks up, looks at me smiling, and says to the suspect “how do you catch a unique criminal? Unique up on em!” He and his partner laughed and high-fived, then just shut the door.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr inline mhmgod8YQi1qz4rgp gif

3. “I’ve got my left knee, my right knee, and my weenie…” Thanks for reminding us about your genitals, dad.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr lihnljhtP61qh4nf6o1 250 gif

4. Other Person: Is this butter? (Asking everyone in line) Me: It butter be.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr inline n0bhbbE4sl1ryp1vd gif

5. On our way to breakfast, we passed a restaurant called Fogata’s…

Wife: I haven’t heard anything good or bad about this place.

Me: Oh I have. But I fogata bout it.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr inline mxj1nq3Tel1ryp1vd gif

6. Dad: Why does our president visit the gastroenterologist frequently?

Me: Why?

Dad: Because he can’t stop Putin.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr m4v6s9phln1rwsy4to1 250 gif

7. Me and my dad went to see iron man 2 (I think?).. I’m pretty sure this is the one with the scene of Thor’s hammer at the end of the credits. Well anyway, right after that after-credits scene my dad stands up, stretches, and announces “man that scene has me thor all over!”

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr li5r16rFBv1qbzaheo1 500 gif

8. Whenever someone says, “I’m going to call my friend,” I always respond with, “what are you going to call him?” Every damn time.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr inline n0bg5qry0N1ryp1vd gif

9. Sister: Dad can we get an otter? Dad: Sorry sweetie, the otters have to stay on the otter side of that glass.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr me3zq62GuN1r6h22v gif

10. Why did the lion keep losing at poker? He was playing with a bunch of cheetah’s.

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids anigif enhanced buzz 9281 1390307895 6 gif

11. “Ouch, I cut myself pretty bad.”

Me: “oh no! Are you ok?!”

“Careful, that cheese is extra sharp!”

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr lzxgpuUGom1r8fjzxo1 250 gif

12. What did the shoes say to the pants? What’s up, britches!

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids lE8HUx2 gif

13. My buddy got a vasectomy yesterday, and afterward he was telling me he was kept awake through the whole thing and actually smelled the cauterization. “Did it smell similar to pork, or was there a vas deferens?”

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr inline mvnvpgCEEe1sn8wxc gif

14. Him: I have no clue which sausage to buy. What do you recommend? Me: Well, I don’t know which one is the best, but I can tell you which one is the wurst!

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr lyxctyZG7n1qaqlrco1 500 gif

15. Sister: “I don’t like brocolli rabe.” Dad: “WHAT ABOUT BROCOLLI STEVE?!”

15 Stupid Funny Dad Jokes You Can Use To Embarrass Your Kids tumblr msz32sWf7c1sfvtwzo1 400 gif

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
comments
Share
Pin
Tweet