I’m That Person Who Wants To Sit By Your Crying Baby On A Plane

I have never understood people who hate traveling on airplanes with kids or baby seated by them. I’m the person who gets EXCITED when I’m seated by a kid or a baby. Granted, I’m not some super fancy executive who needs to look over extremely important papers and use my airplane seat as my THIRD OFFICE while I drink a straight bourbon and go over multi-million dollar deals (Can you tell I have ZERO idea of what like, fancy executives actually do? I assume it involves briefcases and hand shakes and like, infidelity involving random strangers you meet in hotel bars, and possibly expensive dry cleaning bills) but even if I was working on deadline, which I do all the time for Mommyish, but I was doing it way up in the sky, I doubt I would lose my shit if I were seated next to a baby. Or a kid who was kicking the back of my airplane seat. Maybe I just love kids and babies or maybe I’m just sort of a relaxed person but I enjoy flying with kids.

I love traveling with my own kids, even when I was breastfeeding them as infants I never had an issue. I grabbed my travel blankie, tossed it over their head, popped out my boob all discreet-like and nursed them until they passed out. When they were older I bribed them with coloring books and snacks and talked to them about our destination and when they encountered extreme cabin pressure and horrific ear pain I gave them water and gum. My ears always pop on take off and landing so I always sort of assumed my kids may have pain as well so I prepared for that. I have held random stranger’s babies so they could use the in-flight restroom. I have drawn mustaches and goatees on fashion models in the latest issues of Vogue with bored kids seated next to me. I have purchased cocktails for moms traveling alone with their toddler in tow after convincing them that they should enjoy a drink with me. I have given many a strange child gum or a piece of candy after checking with their parents. When I find my seat on a plane I would much rather be seated next to a baby or a kid rather than some weird dude reading the latest issue of Guns-N-Ammo.

According to a new study reported in the Daily Mail:

One in three passengers dread sitting next to a crying baby or troublesome toddler so much that they would pay extra to sit in a child-free zone in a plane.

And half of the 2,000 people questioned said airlines should have on-board creches to take care of noisy kids.

Um, on-board areas for kids? SIGN ME UP. I would rather sit next to bored, noisy kids than just about anyone on a plane. I don’t mind sitting next to strangers, as long as they don’t mind that I’m not a huge plane talker and they don’t try to engage me too much, but I would much rather be seated next to a parent with a kid. No one asked me how I feel for this study, but I can’t be the only person who would rather sit next to a crying baby than some weird lady using her in-flight table rest as a place to hold her entire cosmetics bag as she re-applies all of her makeup and sings along with her iPod.

(Photo: Nadezhda1906/shutterstock)