It’s Official – Courtney Stodden Is A Comic Genius And/Or Losing Her Damn Mind
We have this joke around the Mommyish offices that whenever Courtney Stodden does anything that I usually end up taking the story. My boss
Bambi Koa always says “Hey Eve, did you see what your best friend Courtney Stodden did?” and I’m left writing up whatever wacky antics Courtney is up to now. I’m a Courtney fan. I was also a stupid and pretty 18-year-old way back in the day and I have a lot of sympathy for Courtney Stodden. It can’t be easy being Courtney. She is younger than some of the condiments I have lodged in the back of my kitchen cupboards. She always has to wear these ridiculously high plastic shoes that obviously came from the Frederick’s of Hollywood clearance shelf. She is constantly being called the worst things that no human should ever be called, ever. She hasn’t had time to go to college. Plus, that whole thingy with the older creepy husband who seems to be taking advantage of her.
Now, one can argue with me that Courtney is a creation of Courtney, that she deserves all of the attention she gets, positive or negative, and that at age 18 she is old enough to know what she is doing. And I know a lot of girls at age 18 who are totally together, they are wonderful, amazing people who are either making a difference in the world or getting an education so they can make a positive impact on the world or doing something else that society expects 18-year-olds to do. Not marry a man a gazillion years older than them and writhe around half-dressed and make heavily auto-tuned music videos. But, whatever. Courtney is Courtney and I have decided that she is totally playing all of us because there is no way that this girl isn’t completely aware of exactly what she is doing.
First, we had the weird and semi-amusing introduction to Courtney’s half-sister Courtina , with her bizarre Frankenstein-mish-mash-accent, and about an hour ago Courtney introduced us to her Suicide-girls-esque half-sister Courtland, who is like, super critical of Courtney.
She calls herself a “slut”, she says Courtney has no dignity and refers to Doug Hutchison as an “old, washed up, D-list Hollywood actor.” And she is kissed a lot by her dog Dourtney, and she makes fun of his name. It’s the Courtney Stodden fake persona show! Now I’m just waiting for her to divorce Doug and go to college and become a massive LBGT activist or something.
She goes through this giant laundry list of the Courtney Stodden fake attributes, the breasts, the hair, the teeth, the nose, but I think the biggest thing about Courtney that is fake is the idea that she isn’t pretty smart too, and funny. She is either some comedic genius and this whole entire Courtney Stodden thing is just a huge meta joke of some sort, or else she is really bored and slowly going insane. Either way, I can’t help but sort of quietly root for this girl. She is my BFF after all.