The Compliments We Give Babies Would Humiliate Adults
4. “Those cheeks! THOSE CHEEKS! I want to squeeze them.”
I’m sure a lot of people noticed the stunning pudginess of my cheeks at the end of my pregnancy when I was swelling faster than a water balloon on a garden hose, but thankfully none of them said it. Because I would have murdered them.
5. “Aw, look! She has back / ear / face hair.”
My first child had a very hairy back when she was born, and it was totally hilarious and we talked about it all the time. My husband noticed a single dark hair on my upper lip one day and he will never do it again.
6. “You have the chubbiest little hands and feet!”
You should definitely coo this at your teenager in front of all of their friends. It will go well. Trust me.
7. “Aw, your little butt is so wrinkly!”
Add this one to the list of things that will not go well when said in the bedroom. Or outside of it, really. Or anywhere. Let’s just never go there, okay?