Babies do have a adorable chunky thighs, but that's not exactly the look grown humans are going for in the age of Thigh Gap. This compliment would most likely make someone pull up their Pinterest app and look up 31 Ways To Punch You In The Face.
I lost a crown, okay? I haven't had time to get it fixed and I'm pretty insecure about it. Fuck off!
I'd kind of like to do a social experiment where I say this to random men on Tinder and see how long it takes them to start calling me names and threatening violence.
I'm sure a lot of people noticed the stunning pudginess of my cheeks at the end of my pregnancy when I was swelling faster than a water balloon on a garden hose, but thankfully none of them said it. Because I would have murdered them.
My first child had a very hairy back when she was born, and it was totally hilarious and we talked about it all the time. My husband noticed a single dark hair on my upper lip one day and he will never do it again.
Add this one to the list of things that will not go well when said in the bedroom. Or outside of it, really. Or anywhere. Let's just never go there, okay?