Jesus Freak: Don’t Ask God To Make Your Kid Pretty

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Jesus Freak: I am a Christian mom who was raised in a fundamental Christian home. I have questioned my beliefs and have come to love myself and God on my own terms. I’m raising my kids the same way.

I think we have all been guilty of praying selfish prayers before. I know I have. Most of the time, my prayers are not very Mother Theresa-esque; they are more often along the lines of getting what I want when I want it so that I don’t have to experience anxiety or unpleasant life circumstances.

It’s so easy to transfer this attitude to the way I parent. I have the same prayers for my kids as I do for myself, many times. God, please make them happy and healthy and safe. Don’t ever let anything bad happen to them because it would upset me too much, and it would make their lives hard.

God forbid I ever step outside of myself and think about how beneficial it can be to struggle, personally and for my kids. I can definitely recognize that there is something wrong with wanting to smooth every bump in the road to make your children’s lives perfectly easy. I’m pretty sure this phenomenon has a name, and it’s called ”snowplow parenting.”

I came upon a blog that expresses, very honestly, this sentiment. I’m not bashing this blogger at all because I do understand what it’s like to pray selfishly, and I appreciate her honesty. I also have to say that I 100% believe that God cares about every single thing that I care about. In that respect, no prayer is a selfish prayer, but you can’t necessarily count on God to grant your request for a new car. There are some things you have to do yourself.

The blogger talks about praying to God to ”make her daughter pretty” so that she wouldn’t have to struggle with the same body image issues she did:

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the bigger girl. I outgrew my mom’s shoes in the 5th grade. I couldn’t share clothes with my friends because they just didn’t fit. I dreaded the scales at the doctor’s office every. single. time.

It breaks my heart that I prayed for God to grant her with a tall, slender body and high metabolism. Ugh. I actually prayed that. I didn’t want her to grow up and struggle with the same issues I have. But if my daughter doesn’t dream about fitting into a size two pair of jeans, she’s going to dream about something else.

Again, I truly commend her for her honesty and her clearly loving relationship with her daughter. The blogger concludes with her current prayer for her daughter:

To my beautiful, precious daughter:

Whatever it is that dampens your spirit when you look into the mirror, please know this: God is bigger.

If you want to eat healthy, don’t do it because you want to see a lower number on a scale. Do it because you want God to have power over food in your life.

If you want to live an active lifestyle, don’t do it because you like how you look in tighter clothes. Do it because God can use a healthy person to serve in the Kingdom.

To me, this mother’s love for her daughter warms my heart. I have nothing to say to judge her parenting because I am not in their relationship; it’s not my business. I can provide my two cents in how this attitude applies to my own life.

While I think it is important to share your beliefs and values with your children as you parent, I am still rubbed the wrong way when parents overspiritualize everything. This could just be my own experience, yet I also see it in my husband’s family and in many other Christian families we know.

This mother had a wonderful wish for her daughter: to have a healthy body image. She even went so far as to admit that she prayed selfishly for her daughter to be pretty. While I’m sure we can all agree that a prayer like that is silly and selfish, I still believe it is doing a disservice to a young girl to overspiritualize very real body image issues.

I remember this many, many times when I came to my own mom and dad for advice. I would pour my heart out and ask them to help me with something personal in my teen life, and they would inevitably say, ”Just have faith. Give it to God. Pray about it.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I have a strong relationship with God today, and I still don’t know.

I would have appreciated a heart-to-heart talk with my parents whenever I needed them the most. There are members of my family that still slap a ”God label” on any conversation just to make it spiritual, even when it doesn’t apply. But as a parent, you can’t expect God to parent for you. There are times when you are going to have to teach your kids real-world concepts, whether about having successful relationships or a healthy body image.

This mother in the example is truly loving, no doubt about it. I can only speak for myself when I say that I wouldn’t approach my kids in the same way. Both she and I recognize that it’s silly to pray for God to make your kids’ lives easier. But that’s where the parent comes in. It’s your job to teach your kids step-by-step how to deal with struggles and come out better for it. You can teach your kids about God and religion, but you can’t pass the buck. God can’t raise your kids for you.

(Image: Piotr Marcinski/Shutterstock)

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