Administering child discipline is never easy. But if we want to raise kind, respectful kiddos, sometimes it’s necessary. But there is a right way and a wrong way to discipline your kids. Obviously, as experts have said FOR YEARS, spanking isn’t effective as a disciplinary tool. And yelling and screaming will usually just end with everyone in tears (and will teach your kids that yelling and screaming are OK). When disciplining your kids, it’s important to remember their feelings, and take care to acknowledge them. And, experts say, always try to remember to use this one phrase.
Child development experts say that child discipline should always end with this phrase: “You’ll remember next time.”
I’ll admit, when I first read this, I was a little taken aback. I don’t think I use that phrase … ever? And then I felt horrible. The reason experts say to always use this phrase makes so much sense! Says child developmental psychologist Ashley Soderlund, “That one simple phrase communicates so much to children. It tells them that their failure today isn’t a permanent failure, that they can change, and it gives them something positive to focus on.”
“It tells them that their failure today isn’t a permanent failure”. Such a simple thing, but so very important.
Using this simple phrase not only teaches your kids that this one mistake doesn’t define them, but it empowers them to change their own behavior. It’s hard for kids, especially young kids, to not think that one bad thing is the end of the world and makes them bad kids. I mean, kids are slightly dramatic by nature, right? By saying, “You’ll remember next time”, you’re telling your kids that this one mistake doesn’t define them, you’re acknowledging that yes, there will very likely be a next time, and you’re giving them power over how they deal with the next unpleasant situation.
It’s so important to remember that kids have feelings and emotions, just like you and I. But also to remember that they don’t necessarily have the same control over those feelings and emotions as we do.
They’re going to mess up. And we’re going to discipline them. But they will (hopefully) learn from this mistake, and remember your parting words next time.
(Image: iStock / Choreograph)