Cheatsgiving: How To Survive A ‘Groundhog Day’ Thanksgiving
My husband’s family is wonderful. They are kind, generous, and just all around good people and one of the first things I noticed about them was they love to get together. Something I was not accustomed to growing up. My family lives all over the east coast and we rarely, if ever, want to hang out around each other, unless there are equal parts alcohol per family member. Not that we don’t love each other we just understand each other. That’s when I noticed the second thing about my husband’s family, they never have adult beverages at our dinners and after years of holidays and Saturday family dinners (Yes, we have those. At least once a month) I have realized we are the Cleavers. So I’m going to get my apron on (no, I won’t) and grin and bear it as the same exact things and food happen, like I’m trapped in the twilight zone, every year. We will set at least a months in advance who’s home will be hosting what holiday. Now that my husband and I are homeowners our turn is coming this Christmas and I can see the horror creeping into my MIL eyes whenever she thinks about it.
The kids will ask at least 10 times each what exactly the cranberry chutney is. (It is actually pretty tasty)
My mother in law will ask at least 35 times if I’m sure I want to make something. At first this was jarring to me. I thought maybe my cooking was bad, although I do cook quite a lot and my spirit guide is Julia Child. But they are just set in their ways so the first time I brought stuffed mushrooms they were like ?!?!?!?!?! and now they always assume I am just going to make those. Every. Time.
The exact phrase; “The secret is: I bast it in a few sticks of butter to keep it moist” Will be uttered by my sister in law in reference to her turkey and my husband and I will cry on the inside.
Our cousin will bring the same green bean casserole and forget to cook the green beans all the way. So we will all sit and eat squeaky beans and tell her how delicious it is.
One of the kids will go missing.
Our niece will survey the food and announce she is *insert a word ending in atarian* and can’t have whatever dish she doesn’t think she will like.
I will ask my husband if there is wine at home, several times. Eventually he get’s the hint and we say our good-byes and head home to toast to how grateful we are for our wonderful family.
The only difference this year, is it will be the first holiday without our grandmother, who really was the light of every gathering. She was a beautiful human being. So this Thanksgiving I’m going to wear the watch she left me, probably softly cry in the bathroom for a minute, and tell her I love and miss her. Even her ambrosia salad.
You can order a fully cooked turkey from Dean and Deluca that you simply need to reheat. I’m sure it’s a fabulous tasting bird, and at $325 for 16 pounds it better be.
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