Some recipe ingredients should not be substituted. If you run out of eggs, you can’t just use fish sticks. And no matter how much my mother insists that you can use applesauce instead of sugar and butter, she is wrong and her oat bran muffins are disgusting. They are not, however, nearly as disgusting as the breast milk brownies this mother claims she made with her own breast milk.
The Sanctimommy Facebook Page is a wonderful and hilarious collection of things the world’s smuggest parents have said, so we can mock them. It’s always funny, but this week they had a real doozy where a woman moaned that she had used her own breast milk to make brownies for school bake sale, and that the other parents found out and were “blowing it way out of proportion.”
“I made brownies for my school bake sale that had breastmilk in them,” she said. “I didn’t have time to run to the store and didn’t think it was a big deal (some of those kids could use the nutrition, let’s be honest). And it wasn’t even that much.”
Some parents are smug, and some are disgusting, but this one is both. “Some of those kids could use the nutrition let’s be honest.”
Extra nutrition? You were baking brownies. Adding breast milk doesn’t turn them into carrots.
How does one get to the point where they don’t have regular milk, but they do have breast milk, and figure that’s an OK substitution? Go to the store, lady.
She also says that somehow one of the other mothers found out, and now it’s a thing. Probably because it’s weird AF to put your breast milk in brownies and feed it to other people’s kids. It’s also almost certainly violates 10,000 health code laws. So yeah, I can see where other parents would “blow it way out of proportion.”
This cannot possibly be real.
We’ve seen a lot of people do weirder, dumber things than put breast milk into bake sale brownies. (The lady who gave her baby a dildo to chew on instead of a teether is just one example.) But even after all that, I hope to hell this is a hoax. For starters, if breast milk is “liquid gold,” why would you use it in a brownie recipe?
We’ve seen enough breastmilk-slinging super-moms to know that there are a lot of crazy sanctimommies out there. If you told me that a woman sprayed breast milk into someone else’s kid’s eye to cure an eye infection, I would definitely believe you. But in this case I can only assume the woman is making this up, mostly because I’ve never in my life seen a brownie recipe that called for milk.
What do you think of breast milk in bake sale brownies? Let us know in the comments.
(Image: iStockPhoto / bhofack2)