Break Out the Cheesecake and Wine, Because Golden Girls Clue Is Coming

If you threw a party and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and it would be a copy of the Golden Girls Clue game for us to play the shit out of. (I hope the second-biggest box is a box of wine.)

Clue–the murder mystery game where you play to find out that Professor Plum committed the murder with a lead pipe in the conservatory–is already one of the best mainstream board games ever created, and now, according to CNet, it’s getting a charming new edition starring the Golden Girls.

OK, as much as I would love to see the Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia solve murder mysteries, this game does not actually involve any bloodshed. Instead, the mystery is “who ate the last piece of cheesecake?”

But the Clue format is the same: Players travel their characters around the house, competing to find out who ate the last slice of cheesecake, where they ate the last piece of cheesecake, and what accessory they left at the scene of the crime.

“Blanche ate the last slice of cheesecake in the living room, and she left behind a feathered slipper.”

This sounds like the best idea anybody has ever had.

Players play as Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, Sophia, or two faceless man cards. One of the men is carrying a stuffed monkey like Dorothy’s ex husband, Stan, and the other one has a rose and the mustache of Rose’s charming boyfriend, Miles. It’s not entirely clear why the Stan and Miles cards don’t have faces, but maybe it’s a licensing issue. Who knows? Either way, the Golden Girls are all pictured looking just as great as ever.

Golden Girls Clue might be a good update on the original Clue, because all four Golden Girls are wonderful in their own way, which means that it will put an end to the first rule of Clue, which says that every game must start with a big fight over who gets to play Miss Scarlett. (That happened at everyone else’s house too, right? I don’t remember a single Clue game that didn’t start with a fight over the Miss Scarlett card.)

The Golden Girls Clue game is coming out sometime in June from USAopoly and will sell for $39.95.

Clearly we need to start organizing public tournaments with cheesecake and wine, and as long as I get to play Blanche we won’t have to fight over the character cards.

Who do you want to play? Let us know in the comments.

(Image: Photo / USAopoly)